Numbers Game Revisited

Squares think that it’s just about numbers.

The mentality is “If I make 100 approaches, I expect X number of girls to bang.”   For guys with this mentality that 1) get over their approach anxiety, but 2) don’t understand game – you get these spam approachers.    Little Game Robots just hitting their heads against the wall.

Worse is the numbers game mentality + the sniper’s mindset.

At least the spam guy is approaching, and building up a set of data points in his mind about how girls are reacting to him both consciously and unconsciously.  He may never get past that level, he may not ever reflect.  He might actually get some bangs because as feminists are fond of saying, the medium is the message.  

The sniper, who knows that he needs to approach a large # of women, is still basically looking for the low hanging fruit.   Women that are alone.   Women that look like they’d immediately react favorably.   These women are out there, a lot of them during the day, but you need a huge net to catch these small butterflies.   It’s not undoable, it’s just not efficient.

It’s very difficult to get a guy out of that kind of thinking, because it is a very masculine way to think.  It’s like talking to someone that thinks that God created the world with evolution.   Whenever I hear something like that, it tells me that the person has to put opposing ideas in balance – they cannot get through life with tension between ideas.  They have to resolve all tension, otherwise they can’t function.

When your knowledge of the game gets better – then you start to see this tension.

As I continue to approach, continue to have success – the experiences mold me.   I try new things and I get new results.   That’s the basic level of game competence.  It’s what I think most guys who aren’t after the “Secrets of the Hidden Temple” like myself can do with maybe 3 months of intense training, or 1 year of only going out on weekends.

So with additional reference points, a guy should reflect, seek information, and slowly change his behavior.  This in turn usually requires getting rid of old ideas and changing your mindset.  It’s very slow personality change.  Change that’s forged from the hammering on the steel of his mind.

With self reflection, pushing through the interactions, you can actually increase the # of immediately yes girls, maybe girls, and decrease the no girls.   So by going through the motions – it is indeed a #’s game.   Typical game confirms that basic reality.

Various PUA gurus and instructors spout some variation of this understanding.

But what of conversion?  If attraction is not a choice.  If a girl doesn’t intellectually choose to be with a guy with a symmetrical face – if a player figures out the “cheat codes”- to where he’s pushing her buttons and she’s reacting – IS THAT A NUMBERS GAME?

It’s not a lottery if I’m the guy painting the numbers on ping pong balls.

When I’m rapping to a chick, it’s not to see if we have chemistry.   I’m not trying to screen her based on exposing my personality to her.

I’m actively trying to find her junction box and hitting her switches.

What’s funny is that if you lean towards the whole “I want to be unconsciously competent” – your “personality” starts to have these traits that do this automatically.     You always tease, you always know when to stop.  You always see the signs and know when to hit the gas, when to pause, when to deescalate.   You’re always present in the moment, being there with the chick.

It’s the conscious component – the thinking a few steps ahead that I’m trying to push guys to do, to think about.

-Archie

Juggling

Q:  What about Polyamory, Polygamy?

A: Are you crazy?

I was juggling 6 chicks at the same time before I really knew what I was doing – it was not what I thought it would be.  I’m thinking sex every night.  In fact, it was juggling a lot of schedules and dealing with a lot of female issues.

Looking back on it, I was coming at these relationships like I was a boyfriend to 6 chicks.

Mistake.

I’m sure all of these chicks had guys that they could call to fix their computers or fuck them – but once they realized that they weren’t the only ones on my dance card …

I can say there was a major upside.
The smug smile on my face when I’m at girl #3’s spot and she’s bullshitting and girl’s #2 and #4 are texting.
Call me twisted, but it’s really better than the chase and the sex.

No One Man Should Have all that Power.

-Archie

Mitigating an LTR

The Scenario

You’re dating a chick, and you find out something you don’t want to find out.   From there you start making your moves.  The square tries to salvage the relationship, the player tries to get out as soon as possible.

At least that’s what the manual says.  What often happens is that a young player, or an old one like myself, finally meets a chick that is worth investing in.   And if you’re not out there gathering up new prospects, your game gets a little dated, a little rusty.  This is much to the benefit of the your main chick…at first.

However, the tests keep coming at you.  And since you don’t have any internal leverage – you’re running out of moves.

And then she breaks up with you.

What happens next?

Q. How can you have game and still get burned?

A.  You can have great short game and horrible long game.

I’ve learned that lesson repeatedly. Every horrible breakup I’ve ever had, I’ve had a chick in the sack within a week. Often it’s my exes friends.  (Don’t let that cat out of the bag though)

So what do you young players (and old ones) need to learn?

  • Should you always avoid relationships?
  • Should you be the old man at the club surrounded by girls who keep up with all the new dances?
  • Should you just go your own way when your time is up?
  • Resign yourself to the idea that you had a good run?
  • Move to Barranquilla Colombia to find your unicorn?

Most players in this dilemma do one of two things.

  • They never commit the same way a woman commits.   As Patrice O’Neal (the Patron Saint of WIA) would say, “You can’t love a woman the same way she loves you”
  • Keep your game sharp by staying in the mix.

We’ll explore the first option in other posts, but for guys that are currently in bad situations, this is what I have to say.

You might be raising a few young’ns in the suburbs.  Probably pushing an SUV with a 3rd row that gets use.  It is what it is.  But you don’t have to die.

You have to do two things.

First, you need to keep your social skills sharp.  It’s a horrible fact that MOST men stop having new friends after they leave college.  The key word there is MOST.  You need to cultivate new friendships by breaking bread with your co-workers, connecting with the fathers and husbands in your local area.  Learning new skills by taking classes (at community college with off duty strippers!).

Second, keep your external game sharp.   This is the generic GQ advice, but eating right, exercise, keeping your style game together.  By themselves the externals don’t give you game.   But when you have all of that together, you’re still catching glances from chicks.  Not saying you need to act on those glances, but you need to keep a positive self image in your mind.  And using external game and external validation to help you do that, is a net positive.  You can’t base your identity on the externals, but like a pre-work out supplement – it helps.

-Archie

Mystery Method in a New Age

Mystery Method

As Jay-Z once said

“Students of the game, we passed the classes. Nobody could read you dudes like we do

Most of the groundbreaking ideas that brought “pick up” aka game to the forefront of society were developed in the late 90’s and early to mid 00’s.    It’s not that game didn’t exist before Style and Mystery.

fillmore slim n'nemI mean, a lot of us came up in the barbershop.  I remember hearing about my first player’s ball as RT Idlebird was cutting my high top fade.

Even one of the most famous bits from back in the day was “borrowed” from the great Chris Rock

*Cut and Paste this joint, Youtube’s hating on the embed*

But let’s not get on that “Who invented what..”  Someone’s liable to pull out Ovid.

It’s not yet 20 years later, but a lot of the things I learned way back when have been lost as pick up was mainstreamed in order to get a lot of money.  So a lot of the nuance and geeky technical stuff was put aside so that young “Bro’s” could score with sorority chicks.

It’s funny that “those” guys are the target market, when it’s really the nerdy types that refined it and it’s most useful for.  I digress.

What exactly is the Mystery Method?

First, let’s get rid of the notion that it’s *his* method.   A better way to think about MM is that he broke down what was happening at the bars and clubs into 9 basic steps.  3 phases each having 3 steps.

First there is the attraction phase.  Then there is the comfort phase.  And finally there is the seduction phase.

In real life

  • Man shows up to the venue.   If he’s tall, rich, well dressed, handsome or people seem to know who he is – he’s getting everyone’s attention.   If he’s loud, he’s getting people’s attention.
  • Once the girl lays eyes on him, the animal part of her brain starts to assess him.  “Ooh, he’s tall”  “Ooh, he’s got big muscles”  “Ooh, he looks like a baller”.
  • Sometimes she doesn’t see him initially, or she sees him and looks straight through him.  But she sees how other people interact with the guy.  He knows the bartender.  He knows the bouncers, the owners.  The waitresses are running up to hug him.  He knows the DJ.
  • Maybe she sees none of that, but she does see him hold the attention of a group of people, and they are hanging on to his every word.  Maybe, she’s within earshot of his booming voice, and her interest is piqued.  It could be the content of the conversation.
  • She’s *now* receptive to him.  She’s now in the early stages of attraction.
  • If our would be player steps up to her, she’s more willing to hear what he has to say.   If she hadn’t seen what she’d seen, she would not be as willing to talk to him.    She might even be indifferent or hostile.
  • But she did see him.   She was cool with what she saw.   So she’s open to being talked to
  • Will she meet his standard?  If the man is merely impressed with her looks – for whatever reason – the more that a chick thinks of herself – the less that validating on her looks will get you any where.
  • So you have to QUALIFY her.  Only if she meets the qualifications of “The Man” is she okay with getting to know him better.

What a lot of squares do is walk right up, introduce themselves, run down their accomplishments, and try to befriend the girl, hoping to turn that into a spark.     The squares that don’t talk to women, often feel that they don’t have enough accomplishments to really present a good case to the women.  And some of us even feel that we’ll NEVER have the right stuff…so why even bother?

What Mystery observed, and what many players before and after him noticed was that – Trying to Impress a chick rarely works.  Making her feel like she needs to impress you works like gangbusters.

How do you do that?

Well that’s what the game is.

-Archie

Moving Towards

We had this discussion earlier this year.

I posed the question, what is advanced game?

For whatever reason, the forum thinks that I have a lot of the stuff.  No my friend, I have a fair amount of experience of trying shit and it blowing up in my face.

blowing up in my face

It is what it is.  I write things down.  I remember as much as possible.  I ask myself, “Self, how could this have played out differently?”

I read.  I get counsel and inspiration from others.  That’s the way it’s supposed to work.

After a certain point though, after you get over the initial hurdles of going from Square to Mack, from Peon to Pimp, from Chump to Champ…you start to wonder where you can take game.

Now, let’s give today’s definition of game.

You know that a woman (human) primarily operates on emotions and feelings.  A woman (human) will make life altering decisions because something feels good or something feels bad.   She’s not deliberating nuffin’.

So this applies to romance as well.  So if she feels sexy,  she feels ready for some loving, and she feels like there’s not gonna be any downside, well why not get cozy with a gentleman?  Where’s the harm?

Conventionally, society teaches us that women only feel that way if a whole bunch of criteria are met

  • You’re tall
  • You’re handsome
  • You have a good body
  • You have lots of friends, popular and well liked
  • You have power
  • You have money

And the way this plays out in real life, girls who don’t have two tits to rub together feel ENTITLED to these Denzel Mandingo’s.

“How dare you even talk to me? Even look at me. Be gone peasant.” – meanwhile the princess looks more like a gremlin.

gremlin

However, that’s what society teaches.

What game teaches us is that if you can make her feel like she feels when she’s with a guy that’s tall, built, rich, et cetera – that’s good enough.  She exists on feels.  And your job as a player is to supply those feels.

And when she stops feeling those things, she moves on.  When Chris Rock stopped being funny to his wife, they got a divorce.

So that’s game…. Giving her the feels, and doing it consistently.

We’ll talk about that in some detail…

So what exactly is advanced game?

It’s giving her the “feelz” PLUS!

Something like that.   When you interact with a young lady you’re using the 3 main tools, but leaning on one

  • What You Say
  • Touch
  • Where you move her to

Most game is about the talking part.  Through words, you touch on her emotions.

But what if you could cut out the talking?

That’s where I’m thinking advanced game is.

A player that can get a chick’s primal brain in a primal way.

We’ll discuss further.

 

On Dodging Bullets

I’ve had a grip of LTR’s.  Enough 3 day stands and Same Night Lays to honestly say that I’ve had success with this game thing.   But the LTR’s stick with you.   Going out and replacing a sex partner is as simple as going out regularly after a certain point.  The more you enjoy the process, the easier it is.

But a chick that rises through the ranks from

  • one time only
  • okay, you can stay the weekend
  • Once a week
  • Secondary
  • Primary
  • OMG, Why am I accompanying you to your Christmas Party…

Somewhere between Secondary and Primary, you have to have noticed some non-sexual value.   And most of the time it’s nothing so tangible as cooking, brings other girls into the mix for you, great with money, awesome connections.

No, its something far more nefarious.   The chick is cool to be around.   If you haven’t done this for a while, that sounds like a low bar.  But the more chicks you deal with, the more you start to realize how teething pullingly agonizing dealing with these chicks are.  So the one time you meet a chick that likes Wu Tang and Seinfeld

You start to feel “some type of way”.  That companionship is not something a girl can truly fake her way through.   She has to have that as a person.  And it’s really a puzzle piece more so than some sort of trait that you can trace from chick to chick.

Anyway, I had this in one way or another with all of my exes.   Some were better than others, but the game mentality allows you to find value in everyone, so you do.

So this particular Ex just recently had a kid.   No we are no longer FB friends.  But we do have FB friends in common.   So there’s been a ton of gushing that I’m seeing proxy. (I actually don’t have the FB app on my telefono, but my work is dead boring some of the day – so perusing via browser)

I saw the pictures.

Neo dodges the bullet

Broheim, the Ex looks exactly like her mother.   And I don’t mean that in a good way.

If you’ve got a chick in secondary position, and you start getting the feelz… meet her mother.

Indeed, if a random chick or a plate wants a bump in rank, meet the friends.   If she’s surrounded by some superficial cackling bitches, chances are high that she’s not even secondary material.

-Archie

Occupational Hazards

So What Do You Do?

What-do-you-do

Question came up on the forum.

I think new players typically treat this question as a “Test”.  Tests require clever answers.

A Square, a guy not even aware of the game, just says, “I’m a credit analyst at a bank” “I’m a mechanic” and they look to the girl for reaction, ideally approval.

If it’s something the girl understands what he does, and she’s feeling him, “Ooh great, I always need a good mechanic”

^Now before we get really deep into this topic, let’s just break apart this seemingly innocuous statement.

On one level, she’s excited and giving the guy validation.  On another level, she’s the one who’s giving validation.  And on yet another level, some girls see the guys they meet as tools for their own ends.  She finds out what you do, and she already has a role for you to fill in her life.

Unconsciously (?), she’s already trying to use you.

I wonder if you said porn star what her reaction might be? lulz

Back to the new players. The young players typically don’t answer the question like a square.   They have been made aware that women judge how you respond to this question.

Where new players typically falter, is that they focus on the literal communication, but not the sub-communication.  Guys that get it focus on the sub-communication.

newbs – answer “smart ass”

journey men – answer smart

vets consider the context, the specific interaction, the timing, her tone, whether he’s passed certain goal posts, and he understands her subcommunication.  Hostile or Pleasant, he then takes what she wants to know and uses it to his advantage.

So here’s how I handle it

I working in a high prestige/high income field, but my actual work is low prestige/middle income.   Technically the janitor @ Google works in Tech.

So when girls ask me this question, I haven’t personally made peace with what I do all day. (In fact, I spend a lot of my days plotting my way out, as well as doing what I truly love – and that’s writing)

Because it causes me pain to deal with this, that angst/anxiety telegraphs itself.  So at first I was doing a lot of the above.

– one liners
– flippant answers
– never being serious
– changing the subject
– flipping it around and accusing her of something
– being very honest
– answering a different question than she asked (the politician)

Sometimes this was fine, sometimes it was fatal.

But my game has grown since those days.  Even if my job has not gotten much better.

For 1, I recognize the setting and when during the approach the question comes.   If she’s coming at me hostile or friendly or if she’s just passing the time – I see this question as an opportunity to get closer to getting in to her pants.

Pretty much any of the common shit tests should be seen as OPPORTUNITIES.  It’s like you exactly know what’s going to be on the final exam, why wouldn’t you have a A+ answer?

Second, having done this for a while, I recognize that girls have an insatiable need for novelty.  They need “new feels” all the fucking time.  Girls get jaded quickly.  And guys respond with the same basic ways all the time.

You might “pass” the test by being clever or switching the frame…but I want to blow her mind.

More often than not, I like taking innocent questions and just drawing her deeper into my web.  When a chick is hostile or indifferent, this overarching strategy of taking her lame tests and bringing her into a new space works to the point that she looks at me different.

Third, If I give her the truth directly, indirectly, it might change the way she feels about me.  If I don’t give her the truth now, eventually she’ll come back to it.   Your work is not something that’s easy to be vague about.  If you have anything with this chick, just time wise and attention wise work is going to come up.  She doesn’t need to know the details though.

So how I used to do it.

*night game, girl is open, seems positive*
WIA – “The bread pudding is magnifique!” (in a french accent cause I think it’s funny)

Chica – “So what do you do?”

WIA – “Banker, but they cover the bread pudding with this brown sugar and bourbon sauce, and it’s like big as the whole plate.  It gets all over your fingers, and your lips.  Son…you gotta go to this spot…”

The key is that I don’t dwell on it, but I continue with my passion.

And this was okay.   I could have a high prestige job, a chick would remark to herself that I was humble about it, and didn’t lead with it.   That’s what most guys do.  They lead with their big job, big car, big house.  When i’ve had those things I tried that shit too. (this was despite knowing game) And all that ever did was put me in the provider category.   LTR or FB, you have to fuck her fast.  Provider category is the slow train.

I’d spend a few seconds redirecting the conversation to something sensual. (because i want to move the ball closer to sex)

I kept getting this question, and it kept sticking.

So I went back to the essence.

Game is all about what’s not being spoken, but what is being said.
And
I’m trying to bang her body, but I need her mind first.

What is she sub-communicating to me?
What can I sub-communicate back to her to move the ball forward.

So now, I improvise the words everytime, but my structure is this,  at most this whole thing takes a minute.

“So what do you do”

WIA – I like smart/perceptive girls.

(you can ask her if she’s smart? or you can just make the statement)

(smart works for dumb chicks – they want to feel smart, perceptive is better for smart ones – they like to touch other stuff, and dumb girls might not know perceptive, lol)

WIA – I’ll give you some clues

*puts one hand up*

*she should put a hand up*

WIA – “Feel my hands, are they soft or rough”

– give her a command
– get *her* to initiate and break the touch barrier
– give her an easy question to answer
– opportunity to comment on her soft hands, “someone here never does dishes*

WIA *move her hands to the bicep* “Big or small”
– if she says big, I tell her that she’s not perceptive (tease)
– if she says small, I tell her that she’s trying to hurt my feelings and needs to make it up to me later (projecting a future with her and me in it)

WIA – *move hand to the fro* (might be hard to adapt for you straight haired guys) – Either I’m really good at my job so I can look like this, or my job doesn’t really matter that much and they just need a warm body

WIA- Now you’ve heard me talk.  I’m pretty shy.  What do you think I do?
I have faith in you, i think you’ll figure it out.

———-  Well you get the picture.

-Archie

Embrace Attention

 

We will discuss the mechanics of the game in detail, but there are some meta habits and pre-cursors that are necessary in order to do the technical stuff.

Most guys that find the game online are the kind of guys who are used to looking for solutions.  They know the truth is out there, and if they are diligent enough, they will uncover it.

That mindset, the curious mind, is not always the most …shall we say outgoing.  Indeed, a lot of guys getting into the game lean towards the shy and introspective side.   You really can not get a guy like that to show his personality, unless he’s with close friends and family.

So if you throw him to the wolves of the nightlife, he’ll shrivel.

These guys, I am one of these guys..we thought we were odd, that we were different, that we were broken somehow.   And I’m willing to bet a lot of you lean towards the brighter side of the IQ distribution. So it only seems logical….

Well, the truth is that most people are not extroverts.  Scratch than, most men aren’t.  Women, on average, tend to be a lot more social.  And it makes sense because women are not allowed to do much by their parents, school, or society.  Society teaches them to get others to do the tasks that they need doing.  Lifting things, reaching things, opening things….  So just by that, women talk to people and get them to do things.   (At least in the West)

They deal with attention, and some of them deal with it well.  Though many do not.  Sometimes there is too much attention, sometimes the wrong kind of attention…and sometimes no attention because of various judgments.

But back to the fellas,

They do not like interacting with people for the joy of it, and they don’t want to be in the center of things.   They don’t want to be in charge.  Leadership is reluctant, and as a gender we look down on guys who call attention to themselves.  Especially if they can’t back it up.

Attention is where the game is.

One must learn to enjoy attention.

– Archie

(*WIA loves music, rock, rap, reggae, soul, funk, blues, R&B, electronica… There will be Country on this blog.  Cry about it)

Opening Two Sets Is Easy, Closing is the Problem

Handling a Two Set in Game

You hit your favorite venue.  The staff knows your name when you enter the spot.

“RAKIM!”

Got your Indochino on…after 4-5 suits, they finally got your pattern down.  Smelling like the most expensive thing that Sephora has to offer, You’re feeling yourself. …and then you see them.

Two smoking hot chicas, dressed to kill, in your place of worship.  One is obviously cuter than the other.  They’re engaged in some chit chat, but you can feel that the cute one likes you.

How does a player handle this situation?

The average player basically has two thoughts on this.

Sniper

sniper approachI’m going to observe these young ladies, and then wait for the moment when the cute one separates from the less attractive one and then make my move!!

The veteran knows that when two girls come to a venue together, they’re attached at the hip.  Sniper style approaches are only useful in situations where you can not be seen talking to  a girl. (Like her wedding)

The Guns Blazing Approach

Guns Blazing Approach

“I’m going to just go in guns blazing and approach the one I like”.   You’d think that this is the weaker of the two common strategies, but sometimes the one you want to talk to  is receptive

With no other options, or other ways to think about the issue, this is how you can do it.

Thinking Outside the Box

How does a veteran think about this issue?

The problem of the two set is not present with a girl on her own, or three girls, or a mixed group.   The issue is that there’s a dynamic between the two girls.

So you have to recognize the social dynamic, and then figure out how to use that to your advantage.

Here’s a classic way to handle it, it’s called the Best Friends Test

Here’s how the written version.  (Don’t you hate it when folks have you watch a video?  Dude, I’m at work…)

Best Friend Test

Style goes on to say that after you open the two set this way you can really start tap into their frequency and get all sorts of intel from the two of them.

Best friends?  Are you sisters?

“You two are terrible, I bet your best friends”

  • accusation
  • put them on notice
  • put them on defense
  • your playful mood CAN make them playful

The key here is the that you have to approach an interact with the two girls as one.

To be honest, opening them is the easy part.

Lemme paraphrase another 2 set opener that I read recently.

You see two chicks.  and then…

WIA – “You know anything about drama?  Dig this.  One of the homies been with his chick for a good 4 months.  They make the cutest couple. ”

*stand with girl A, grab her hand, lean on her like a boyfriend*

But then they sort of broke up all of a sudden.

A’s “friend’, more like a frienemy is always up in Ol Boy’s face, So Bertha gets with my boy after Agatha breaks up with him.

Should Agatha be mad?  They did break up.

So the idea here is

  • Talk about a social situation
  • You can get into roleplaying
  • Make sure you get kino with Girl A and Girl B

There are situations where it’s actually difficult.  Two seated chicks having what looks like to be a heart to heart conversation is probably the hardest situation that a player sees on a regular basis. These rude chicks are ruining fun environments by being serious, and then are pushing away the world to stay in serious mode.

Isolation of the Target in a Two Set

….Great, now that you’ve opened the two of them and they’re talking to you…HOW DO YOU GET ONE?

Wait…before you focus on one….

Maybe you can bag both.  (Vicky Cristina Barcelona)

Overall, you’ve got some options.

  1. Recruit a Wing Man
    1. Be very careful, a bad wingman can kill everything
  2. Recruit the Crowd by merging the Set.
    1. That is ask a question that they *can’t* seem to answer, and just grab a stranger.  “Hey Stranger, We’re trying to settle a bet….figure this out…”
    2. From there
  3. Engage both, show one more attention but be respectful of the other one, and get the contact information.
  4. Neutral Close them both, call the one you want. m “Yeah, we should totally get together on that thing I was talking about”

Still a tough situation.

– Archie

Then I Realized I Hadn’t Launched the Site…

You’d think I’d know my way around WordPress after launching a dozen Amazon Affiliate Niche Sites…

Site’s here.  It should grow a lot.  I’ve written a bunch online, in different forums, and on my laptop.

The point of the site is for me to collect and organize my ideas so I can write a series of books.

No, I will actually finish my books

The tone will be very WIA.

No Red Pill, Alt-Right, Manosophere BS here at all.

Trying to figure out the comments.  I don’t want to be the guy that has to read comments then approve them.

And my site won’t be a free for all.  Fuck that.

So site’s up.  More content is coming.

-WIA