Squares think that it’s just about numbers.
The mentality is “If I make 100 approaches, I expect X number of girls to bang.” For guys with this mentality that 1) get over their approach anxiety, but 2) don’t understand game – you get these spam approachers. Little Game Robots just hitting their heads against the wall.
Worse is the numbers game mentality + the sniper’s mindset.
At least the spam guy is approaching, and building up a set of data points in his mind about how girls are reacting to him both consciously and unconsciously. He may never get past that level, he may not ever reflect. He might actually get some bangs because as feminists are fond of saying, the medium is the message.
The sniper, who knows that he needs to approach a large # of women, is still basically looking for the low hanging fruit. Women that are alone. Women that look like they’d immediately react favorably. These women are out there, a lot of them during the day, but you need a huge net to catch these small butterflies. It’s not undoable, it’s just not efficient.
It’s very difficult to get a guy out of that kind of thinking, because it is a very masculine way to think. It’s like talking to someone that thinks that God created the world with evolution. Whenever I hear something like that, it tells me that the person has to put opposing ideas in balance – they cannot get through life with tension between ideas. They have to resolve all tension, otherwise they can’t function.
When your knowledge of the game gets better – then you start to see this tension.
As I continue to approach, continue to have success – the experiences mold me. I try new things and I get new results. That’s the basic level of game competence. It’s what I think most guys who aren’t after the “Secrets of the Hidden Temple” like myself can do with maybe 3 months of intense training, or 1 year of only going out on weekends.
So with additional reference points, a guy should reflect, seek information, and slowly change his behavior. This in turn usually requires getting rid of old ideas and changing your mindset. It’s very slow personality change. Change that’s forged from the hammering on the steel of his mind.
With self reflection, pushing through the interactions, you can actually increase the # of immediately yes girls, maybe girls, and decrease the no girls. So by going through the motions – it is indeed a #’s game. Typical game confirms that basic reality.
Various PUA gurus and instructors spout some variation of this understanding.
But what of conversion? If attraction is not a choice. If a girl doesn’t intellectually choose to be with a guy with a symmetrical face – if a player figures out the “cheat codes”- to where he’s pushing her buttons and she’s reacting – IS THAT A NUMBERS GAME?
It’s not a lottery if I’m the guy painting the numbers on ping pong balls.
When I’m rapping to a chick, it’s not to see if we have chemistry. I’m not trying to screen her based on exposing my personality to her.
I’m actively trying to find her junction box and hitting her switches.
What’s funny is that if you lean towards the whole “I want to be unconsciously competent” – your “personality” starts to have these traits that do this automatically. You always tease, you always know when to stop. You always see the signs and know when to hit the gas, when to pause, when to deescalate. You’re always present in the moment, being there with the chick.
It’s the conscious component – the thinking a few steps ahead that I’m trying to push guys to do, to think about.