This is the man himself. Pickup/Game has come pretty far since the late 90’s, but Mystery was the guy who basically cracked the code.
By cracking the code I mean, he figured out what the guys that were good with women were doing, and what regular guys were doing wrong.
That being said, usually when I big up Mys, it’s this “model’, more so than his method.
See, Walk Over, Get Her Attention, Show some personality.
When she bites, make her invest more, before you give her validation.
Try and get some quiet time with her to build up the trust.
Then excuse yourself from the environment and head back to your spot.
From there, read the Bible together
It doesn’t sound like much, it sounds obvious.
But the real kicker is that most guys try to build rapport and find commonalities with a chick before she’s even got a taste of their personality.
You hear it reflected in the culture.
Chris Rock said, “You ain’t ever gonna find someone that likes Seinfeld and Wu Tang” – the underlying premise is that men are looking for women with similar interests, and that’s part of how we try to attract women.
So as far as I’m concerned, Mystery observing naturals and backwards engineering what they did – basically figured out that guys good with women weren’t seeking rapport right off the bat. They’d show personality, and only when the chick started digging them, did they even think about changing gears…
Now that particular insight doesn’t really, in my mind at least, connect with everything else that he did, does, or figured out.
So on to video.
I think the strongest part was at the beginning. (and he says later on in the 3 videos that the 1st 10 minutes of a comedian’s act carries you through the entire act – which is why having some good canned material is great – to which I agree)
How you get good at game? Master the 3 set.
1 – master the three set
2 – merge sets – The set of people you just talked to, merge them with a new set of people.
3 – invite last night’s girls out
4 – invite last weeks girls out
5 – invite last months girls out
^each little step builds on itself. Merging Set 1 with Set 2, makes opening set 3 and 4 way easier.
Now when I’m killing it, and other folks are in earshot, of course they open easier. And I do like to introduce people from time to time.
But I’m imagining doing all of this on purpose. Next bar I go to, I can basically put it in my head that I’m trying to be the guy that’s trying to get the whole place hype. Just by lightly cold approaching a lot of sets with good energy and no agenda, but also merging sets regularly – any and all targets become warm because NO GUY DOES THIS. Tall guys, rich guys, meatheads, even gift of gab type dudes.
Club behavior the world over is come with your little group, and stay in the group. All groups are little ice cubes (cold and small, differentiated), until the music, liquor and atmosphere melt them down to water again.
Imagine you’re the heat. That’s what I’m thinking.
My typical m.o. – I’ll go from set to set, get logistics from the girls, hit the dance floor, drank a drank, and then come back sets where 1) I like the chicks, 2) the logistics look good.
It’s in a sense screening, indirect, modified sniper sort of game. But now I’m thinking I can talk to the entire club like normal BUT merge sets.
Because of social proof, I can turn a lot of red lights to yellow, and yellow lights to green as chicks are like “Who’s that Ziggy Marley looking mf’er that’s cool with everyone?”
To an extent, I’ve done this before, but it was unconscious.That’s what happens when you build a circuit over weeks/months with various clubs. By actively merging sets, I can cut that time down considerably now.
More importantly, a man can run this type of game and not really put his ego at risk. He can just be a host and let the girls warm up to him. Build that false familiarity up. (We haven’t talked false familiarity yet, but go out enough and be seen – your club family will see you out and about in your town. Even if you’ve never so much as exchanged words – just being a familiar face puts them at ease.
This is bridging the gap of cold approach to building a social circle where you are at the center.
It’s long game.
It’s promoter game.
Imagine running this type of game at a business networking event.
If my girl starts acting up, then i’ll take her friend
Q. Hey Archie, my girl had a bad day, what should I do?
I’ve faced your situation many a time. After been burned, after getting drained myself I’ve changed my outlook. I than an Eastern European taxi driver that i met last year.
If *her* bad day is forcing you into a situation where you have to manage her emotions by either listening to her bitch and holding your tongue, or banging her –she’s the one in control. She has “hand”. She has the more powerful frame than yours.
This is a bad situation.
The main idea within a relationship for a man/player is NOT
“How can I keep her around?”
“What is she doing to hold my interest?”
“What is she doing right now to keep ME around?”
If she’s actively losing your interest, or causing you drama – then you need to initiate a sequence
Get her attention
“You’re not constructively solving your problem”
Let her recognize she’s being a bitch or negative or annoying
If she persists, either make her leave, or you leave
Say to her, I’ll contact you when you feel better
Then, *turn off your phone*
This is not about manipulating her, it’s about preserving *yourself* and your own sanity.
When someone gets into this negative spiral, and they’re making you solve their problem it’s abuse. Leave.
I don’t know if the girl is toxic, or she’s codependent or any of that daytime talk show pop psychology stuff – but now I recognize that behavior as being corrosive.
She’s going to blow up your phone, let her. You already told her what she was doing wrong
*Also, the game is rarely about manipulating the girl. It is about giving her options, options she didn’t consider.
Q. Hey WIA, I’m having a problem with the pet shop opener and the elderly chat. Should I switch to more direct game?
A. This post might ruffle some feathers, but the pet shop opener is not an easy one to use. Neither is elderly chat easy to use.
Second question first – Should you switch to more direct game?
You need to learn both. You can’t always see a girl and get super sexual and expect her to be with it. (Great for night game, street festivals, and concerts. Basically anything with density and alcohol)
In most game situations, having social savvy will get the P into V better than being a caveman. (learn caveman game though)
The Pet Shop Opener
They’re both easy to understand and are easy on a young player’s ego, but the young player just going out for the first few months might be atsea when it comes to making these canned routines do what they’re supposed to do.
[Ed. Funny how these canned lines don’t get the hate that most of the early 2000’s pua stuff gets. Wait, why am I ‘Ed.-ing’ my own words? ]
Before we dissect these, let’s go back to some Game 101.
You need to believe that it’s possible to get a girl to like a guy from a cold approach.
You need to believe that this is possible for *you*, not some fictional average man out there.
Opening is just starting the conversation. Strangers start conversations with each other all the time..in our culture that is. Other places I’ve heard, there’s much more social atomization and privacy. And other places (South America, Africa, etc) folks can be much more open armed. It really depends.
Opening, by itself, will not result in a bang. “Hey” is an opener. But “Hey” isn’t a magic word.
Basic Game Structure
The other piece that needs to be explained is that the basic game structure is
Get attention of young lady
Open the young lady
Show (not tell) your positive qualities (Verbally and Non-Verbally)
Wait for her to show signs, (it gets more complicated – see other posts on Female to Male attraction)
Make her work for your attention/favor before you validate her.
Opening is simple
Show value, make her chase.
Now when it comes to the pet shop opener, I always envision a guy with a shopping bag seeing a lone girl with her shopping bag in some European city center. But it’s always a day game scenario.
So he sees said lonely girl, he sidles up to her and says
“Do you know where there is a pet shop?”
She replies, but what she says doesn’t really matter.
“Because, I need to go to a pet shop for this reason…” And then he starts rambling. (Talking to her, showing value, but not showing that he’s sexually interested)
And that’s basically it.
The opening line is a question. It’s a fairly interesting question, one that most people don’t get asked. And then the transition is largely seamless and logical.
So the question opens, but it’s the reason (the punch line if you will)that is what really is supposed to get the girl engaged in the conversation.
Using the patented WIA game analysis engine (lol) – what is the sub-communication?
At the top level, you’re asking for help. But by rambling and telling your story, she
Knows that you want to chat (and by stepping up and chatting, like it’s something you do all the time – she can glean that you’re assertive, and this usually goes well for you. So she can be at ease)
Gets a bit of your personality (and that’s a demonstration of who you are)
Here’s the man himself on the topic
Rhetorical Hater – So Archie, you know everything about game, what’s wrong with this?
Hey I’m not game guru, I’m still learning. I ask questions from guys that I respect on the regular.
And nothing is wrong with this. I’ve gotten phone #’s and instadates off this and similar openers. But I didn’t start out with this kind of game. I’d had thousands of night game and social circle conversations before hand.
So breaking it down.
On the plus side, just starting an innocent conversation and talking with a stranger is low stress for the player. Anyone can do this. Rambling and Elderly Chat are the same sort of thing. The only problem that new players have with this is that they run out of things to say. If the girl doesn’t help them, the approach fizzles.
So it doesn’t threaten your mental state in the moment, and you probably have enough inner game strength (ideally) to get started with this. No hits to the ego. No harsh rejections. No insurmountable obstacles. Nothing complicated to memorize.
So of the 4 corners of game, 1) inner game, 2) technique aka outer game – these two are covered.
Rhetorical Hater – Wait, what? 4 corners of the game?
Glad you asked, the other 2 are, 3) Social Context, 4) How the Chick is feeling/What she might be thinking.
The homey “Todd Valentine” of RSD fame talks about the social dynamics a bit in one of his products. (I forget which). Every social interaction is one person giving to another. But people have limits to what they’ll give a stranger.
If you went up to a stranger and asked them for 1,000 dollars, they would keep walking. I see homeless people ask for one dollar bills, and women in pant suits keep it moving. Probably pre-dialed the 9 and the 1.
However, If you ask someone for the time, they’ll give it to you.
Am I going in the right direction for the train station? They will point you in the right direction.
Common courtesy, and it only costs the question answerer a little bit of time and minimal effort.
But when you ask for more, more than they’re willing to give, more than the social context requires of the situation, that’s when you meet resistance.
And that’s the hard part about day game. At least at night, the social environment “let’s you assume the best”. *MESSAGE – USING THE ENVIRONMENT TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOU, DOUBLED EDGED SWORD*
So in the Pet Shop Scenario – the initial question is asking a little bit more than where is the train station. It’s a subtle thing, but it’s one that we can use to rework the opener. Because you’re draining her a bit to ask the question.
Now I’ll be the first person to tell you that you shouldn’t really try to figure out exactly what a girl is going to do or say. Keep the poker tactics at the table. “If she thinks, that I think, that she thinks….”
That being said, you cant’ be a dummy either.
How would you respond to this question?
How would a typical young cute girl respond to this question? (Would there be a big difference?)
Chances are good that she’s a pet owner, but it could go the either way. If she’s a pet owner, she might just give you a straight up answer. You’re actually looking for her to not know where a pet store is, but interested in hearing about the pet store. (it’s a gamble in my mind)
Feeling wise, how invested can she be emotionally in helping you find a pet store? Especially if the emotional draw/personality value comes AFTER the question?
You’re asking for value from her, before giving her value. Why should she give you common courtesy? When you start running up on chicks, a lot of them are so ….angry…that they throw common courtesy out the window.
So how would I remix the Pet Shop Opener?
I’d pack more game into the opening question. I’d give her something that *statistically* she might care about.
“Net Game” used to talk about chick crack. This was stuff like personality tests, psychology quizzes, astrology, palm reading, body language cues, pop culture…et cetera. You talked about things that they knew about, or were in to, to get the conversation really going.
Really Old School PUA would be about mirroring them. Getting their values and quietly becoming the asshole boyfriend.
Newer School PUA reversed. I don’t want to be like her, I want her to be like me. I’m not going to turn myself into what she wants (or says she wants), she’s going to become what I want.
So with chick crack, old school would talk about Beyonce or Real Hip Hop ATL and vibe with the girl, and New School would talk about it and then disqualify themselves because the chicks liked Nene or whoever is on that show. Or something like that.
So taking these two things – chick crack and remaking a chick into your image – you update the new school Pet Shop opener by starting the pet shop opener with a bit of a challenge.
“You look like a dog/cat/animal lover….” (a cold read that begs the question)
“Hey are you cat kinda girl or a dog kinda girl” (a question that’s easy to answer, and one that everyone has an opinion on)
“OMG, total emergency, do you know of a 24 hour pet store…… See my Ex’s ferret got out of the cage, and I can’t find him…I was thinking that i’d rent a ferret..” (the drama of an ex girl friend…”
Rhetorical Hater – “Isn’t this a bit contrived? A ferret? Really? Are you wearing a fuzzy hat?”
Asking a girl about a pet store is the height of contrivance. It’s totally artificial.
But it opens. And when you’re starting out, until you get the rhythm of conversation and how girls typically respond TO YOU, using some tried and true routines are good training wheels. Once you get the rhythm, you can basically use your own stories and punch them up, and drop them whenever you need to.
So we go off the basic model for seduction around these parts.
See the girl
Step up to the girl
Spit your game. (which is 7% verbal, 93% non-verbal)
When she wants more, qualify her. “You really want this girl? You better invest”
When she’s earned your respect, then you start to build trust.
Once trust has been established you retire to a more relaxed environment. To listen to Bill Withers records of course.
The model that society teaches you is
for her to notice,
You wait for fate
Jah to intervenes
If not, approach respectfully
Build trust by seeking commonalities
Then try to show personality
Never qualify, be thankful she gives you attention
Give her stuff and praise, unearned often times
Then, Go home to read the bible and maybe hold hands, as long as you keep the door open.
If you’re here, you’ve tried both and find the latter lacking and the former fucking.
But, one of the harder parts of the attract/trust/seduce model is you’re not supposed to qualify her until she shows interest.
What counts as interest?
So the pimps assume if a chick makes eye contact or she even gets near you – that’s interest. Okay, that’s cool for the initial “warm” approach.
But I’m talking about you’ve already stepped up, hit her with the flim flam….2nd pitch of the howza yowza….and another shot of the mojo.
Classic PUA states that if she’s still there, she’s interested. A truly disinterested/disgusted girl will walk away. (quickly)
As “net game” got refined – the argument then became chicks higher up the “looks” ladder – were used to guys who came in, did their thing, and ASSUMED attraction.
New Player, “Okay, I can assume, no problem. ”
New Player – “So should I just start qualifying her right then and there?”
This is basically where the game goes from Science to Art.
I honestly don’t have a great answer for this. What I do in practice when the girl isn’t show clear disinterested/indifference is as my boy GRRM would say
“Put her to the question”
Ask her something that is both personal and requires a response that shows her cards.
“We seem to be vibing, let’s go check out that booth over there.”
Basically, it’s a moment of truth, make it or break it. And if you act like everything is going to plan – a lot of the time – she’ll just follow. (and a whole bunch of the time, she’ll just look at you like – Who is this guy, lol. )
Anyone who knows me, knows that I love a good suit. I like the way it looks, the way it looks on me, the way I feel when I put it on. Putting my arms through the sleeves and feeling that Bemberg lining through a nice cotton dress shirt… The way the body of the suit drapes my own. I might spend 3 minutes tying and retying my tie to get that perfect dimple. It’s the sort of detail that nobody but me will notice or even care about. And when I’m actually trying to pull chicks, I’m less likely to wear a suit because I’m just going to sweat through it, make it smoky,and possibly a splash of Yamazaki 12 might get on it if things get to hype.
I really wear my suits for me. Not for any other reason. (Well my job does call for some suit wearing from time to time, but less as time goes on. )
When you’re feeling like a bad ass in a suit – you radiate that to other people. I know it sounds corny, but you can tell when an animal is scared or angry by its body language. You can tell when a child is fussy or needs to pee, by body language. You can tell that those young dudes that just stepped into the venue are looking for trouble.
The same thing happens when you put on a suit and you’re feeling it. Same thing happens when a woman puts on some heels and she’s strutting around and walking powerfully.
Body language as powered up by external stimuli is a very powerful thing for your game.
This is from last year, but these are some of the best tailors in the world. (Notice how old most of them are..) These suits range between 4,000 and 10,000 dollars on average.
Before you go break your piggy bank, look at the suits on the mannequins. If you have an eye for this sort of thing, they look great. But if you don’t have an eye for this sort of stuff, they basically look all the same.
Look at these guys. Does any chick really want to bang them based on the suit?
I guess a few might really like the way that they hold their umbrellas. You know what they say about a man with a big umbrella right?
Now look at this pimp right chea.
Is it the suit that makes him look like a boss? There’s a guy behind him in a suit that doesn’t.
Posture, body language, demeanor are what’s important. More so than the suit.
Going back to the video, when you watch “The Immortals” walk around, talk to each other, interact with one another – that’s the real suit effect. Where as the suits on the mannequins…they are cool and all but the clothes do not make the man.
I’ma chill on the whole SMV vs Game debate. Suffice it to say, if you ask me whether you should spend 10 hours in the gym, or spend Wednesday and Thursdays trying to pick up girls for 8 hours – I’m gonna say hit the night life.
If you’re a developer writing code so some snot nose trust fund kid can cash in – learning to push a girl’s buttons by practicing pushing girl’s buttons is time better spent.
But this does bring up some issues brought up in a post today.
Our society teaches boys that they have to EARN a woman’s attention, attraction, and affection. Especially if he doesn’t have one of the golden qualities
Some of the above you can change quickly. Some will take forever. Some require drugs or surgery. Others require a stroke of luck.
But the way the meta-narrative goes – is that you can’t get the girl unless you have some or all of these qualities.
And for the most part, that’s good for society. Society needs somebody to quote Reinsurance to big insurance companies. Society needs a guy who’s an expert on 18th century candle making. Society needed big strong me to be warriors, hunters, and eventually laborers.
So they pour this bullshit into your mind. Your parents to do it, your grandparents, extended family, neighbors, friends, school teachers, cops, tv, movies, songs…
And to further motivate the young mind they show young boys that men who do these things, have these things, they get the fame and money…and the women.
Indoctrination at its finest.
So the question came up, how do you raise your sons with game.
I’ve actually faced this in my personal life. A few younger siblings are at various stages of development and I’m not exactly sure how to broach the subject.
To some extent, telling a high school kid how to get girls on his team seems like a bad idea. At that age, you don’t have much self control, you never think anything bad will happen, and you can end up in some serious stuff. The game really doesn’t get awesome until AFTER college, if you ask me.
But knowing what I went through, and what I see other guys go through – so many of them are wedded to these false promises that society gives them.
Work Hard and Work Out Hard – and the chick will beat a path to your bed. I thought to myself, only if I try harder, can I get noticed…
But that’s not really what happens at all.
One of the things I struggle here with every single post is trying to define game. Because to talk about what’s wrong with society’s plans or how to raise a son/deprogram a family member – I need to have a good definition of game. It’s definitely applied psychology. It’s definitely bigger than just picking up chicks – but those are broad and intangible ideas.
I often turn back to structures that I think most of you guys get. Mystery’s A-C-S model is very convenient. If you knew nothing about Mystery/PUA and went out tried to pick up girls cold – you’d find the exact same things.
You’d see the guys who work out and look great not attracting the girls that are their visual equals. All of us know a rich guy that throws his money around trying to get people to like him.
A lot of my black readers know tons of ripped dudes and tall guys that should be pulling the local equivalent of Beyonce/Rihanna/Blac Chyna, but instead you see them getting drug by chicks that look like Precious.
And all of that mismatch comes from bad programming.
Specifically these guys don’t
Know their own value
Know what chicks really respond to.
This is on top of the biological need to plant seed that makes you blind to faces.
So when you’re raising a young’un those are the top two things you need to teach him from early on.
Of course “I’m black and i’m proud” and “I’m Vietnamese and i’m beautiful” …and all that type of stuff. There’s a fair amount of racial programming that goes on in our society, some of it is by stereotype and other times it’s by not being represented… We’ll get into that later.
But when your boy gets caught up with one of these little strumpets, and she’s having him drive her around and do all this stuff for her – all for the whiff of some vajajay – that’s a boy that doesn’t know his worth.
You have to fuck a fair amount of chicks to devalue pussy, let’s be honest. But it doesn’t take long to figure out that you’re getting used.
So if Archibald Westmoreland had a son, Chesterfield Rakim Westmoreland. – Rakim is going to see Archie handle himself.
So this is called Rich Dad, Poor Dad because the great thing about this book, which Malcolm Gladwell also explored in one of his books – is that parents can explicitly teach children life lessons.
In Gladwell’s book, poor parents that took their children to the doctor never asked the doctor questions, and they never let the children ask the doctors questions. By contrast, well-to-do parents not only asked the doctor about the treatments prescribed, they made their children come up with questions to ask the doctors. They built this into their children to be able to talk to authority.
Kiyosaki, in Rich Dad, has all these lessons where his own father, Poor Dad – got all these degrees, and kept trying to climb the ladder that society set up. Where as Rich Dad, his best friends father, was a business man. One of the lessons that stands out is he hired the two boys to do some terrible work and paid them next to nothing to do it. I think it was moving old boxes of comic books. They were so angry and fed up….and they quit. While they were gonna tell the old man the news, one of his real employees walked in and had to basically grovel for some money. After the employee left, the boys demanded a raise or they were gonna quit. So Dad fired them. Then he explained why his real employee was always broke, and that paying him more wouldn’t help him. (I might be jumbling this up. sure some of you have read this thing, it’s been out for like 20 years)
The real employee worked for his money. He couldn’t really do much to raise his pay. But Rich Dad was able to leverage that employee’s work and raise Rich Dad’s pay. The real money wasn’t in working for someone else. The real money was in capital. And having a workforce at your disposal was capital. (Might be some other lesson, but go with me)
As the father to a would be player – you essentially have to deprogram your son.
They tell you that women respond to money and muscles, but the guys that are really out there making it happen aren’t all rich buff guys. Some are to be fair. If you hold everything constant, that’s what girls choose on their own. That’s what they’ve been programmed to choose. They really don’t know any better. They feel things for other guys, but they really don’t know how to express what it is they feel. So they too reach for tangibles, like height and snappy dresser.
And if you ever bang a Doctor’s wife, you’ll find that she got married to a rich man that’s never home. And she’d trade the wealth for someone to be there. The lifestyle doesn’t make her feel like she thought it would – but she’s put on the golden handcuffs and until she figures out how to live on half – she’s stuck. And the doctor will be clueless.
The father of a young player teaches his son through example that what people say they want is one thing, but what they actually respond to is something else. This applies throughout life, but especially to girls.
The blog is young still. So maybe if I ever cross that path myself, I’ll explain what I’m doing.
Q) Archie, I’m in a slump and I’m thinking about banging this fat chick that’s really in to me. What should I do?
-Chubby Chaser in Chattanooga
A) a bad Chubb
Never bang a chick that you don’t like to break a losing streak. Way too much emotional carnage, plus fat girls often give great blow jobs. (Don’t ask me how I know!)
We’ve all been there. One night, you’re on fire, more chicks than you know what to do with and five weeks later you’re not getting texts back.
Sex is abundant, that’s not a mentality thing, it’s that there are women everywhere and the only thing you need in order to get sex is to engage them. That’s one of the key insights of game.
However if you followed my advice, you’re a night game demi-god, but when the clubs get stale, you’re busy trying to find a porn torrent replacement for kick ass. (RAR?)
Let’s break down the slump.
What is the slump and what causes it?
On the surface, your new leads are less and less, and your rotation is getting thin. That’s the top layer. But what lurks underneath?
Usually, to use the vernacular, you’ve been slacking on your pimping. Now it could be you live in a town and all the single girls moved away. Or it’s that time of year when no one goes out, maybe it’s getting cold or finals are coming up.
More often than not – it’s your actual game that’s been failing. You’re not radiating the same masculine energy, you’re not sending the same sub-communications – and chicks aren’t feeling it. They aren’t getting those “vibes” from you that they need in order to open up and get “vulnerable”.
Usually when you’re eating high on the hog, when you hit the “zone”, you can say anything you want to, and you’re just killing it. In technical terms, your communicating fun and energy and the girls are receiving it and liking it. You don’t need to be bouncing around like a clown to do this. Often times just a positive outlook and taking what might be considered selfish actions in the context of the woman you’re talking to is all you need to hit her in the reptilian part of her brain.
But too much positive feedback, and you feel like there are no rules. That you can just bowl over ANY chick. Some chicks have strong frames, some have weak frames – but like when we talk about calibration during the “trust” stage – if she’s with you and she’s not feeling the highs and the lows – and you’re not picking up that she isn’t feeling it – then you can’t get anywhere with the girl.
….This is actually a bit esoteric, so lemme break it down further
5 weeks ago
Young Player with a smirk on his face, steps up to a little crew of chicadees, and says without pause “So how you doin….”. The little chat progresses, and he spins his tales, makes his observations, has a witty remark, maybe a joke – but he doesn’t laugh at what he says. He lets her laugh.
Young player steps up to another set of chicks, probably 6’s, but he needs to warm up before he makes it over to VIP. “So how you doin”…
The set doesn’t blast open like it has been for the past month…and he falters. Thinking that he recovers, he recounts a bit that he always uses – but – its not having the same effect.
The real break down for him was not that the set didn’t open, but the fact that it didn’t caused a misstep.
His fundamentals aren’t as sharp as they used to be.
As Patrice said, “I was living on fumes of pimpness”
So the remedy for the slump, if you think a slump is coming on.
Take a breather from the night life. Girls aren’t the center of your world, you are.
Go back to the fundamentals. Do your warms up, have your ritual,
Give yourself a break when you’re in the set. It’s not always going to go according to plan. In fact, the textbook game me and others parrot is really when everything went right.
This is the sort of thing I was saving for a book, but the homey Vaun is going through it right now.
So you get your game on and popping. No more approach anxiety. You start having a sixth sense for when a chick is READY. No longer looking for signs, now you lead. No more number closes, it’s meeting a chick and taking her home the same night.
The new player with freshly minted skills typically goes a bit crazy. It’s like you finally get that first couple of checks and they haven’t fired you.
IT’S REALLY HAPPENING.
When I hit level 1 game, I was banging for 3 years straight. I lived to go out. Had my ride, had my own spot, in shape, was a figure in the scene – Persian, Mexican, White, Venezuela, Indian…you name it, and I tasted it.
And then I met her.
Now prior to the game, I had my first love. Then I was banging probably the hottest chick I’d banged up to that point. And that break up drove me to the game. (yeah, yeah, you’ve heard it before)
3 years later, dozens of notches on the belt. I thought I’d mastered the game.
This chick, the one, the prototype…
She had the face, the body, but most of all – THE PERSONALITY.
That’s the one of the things that cold approach night game can’t really teach you to find.
Heels, easy. Likes the same music? No problem. T&A – ALL DAY..
But personality really doesn’t peak out through a blouse. You have to interact. (Cold approach One Night Stand game doesn’t teach how to detect long term behavior either…post for another time…)
So your boy fell hard.
Had to let the harem fall back. Went monogamous. (*cringe*)
And well you know what happens after that. You keep your G tight at the beginning – but the pleasures of a relationship make you ease up.
Well I got ~3 years out of that relationship, until ol girl was like “I want to break up”.
How could I, the Great West Indian Archie..fail to keep this chick in my life?
As I would learn through later relationships
The “short game” is relatively easy to pick up. The “long game” is much much harder.
But that’s a post for another time as well.
My love was gone.
My ego was crushed.
My reason for looking forward to the future and doing things – that was gone. Coming home to an empty apartment, sleeping in an empty bed. Not washing the last t-shirt she slept in, just so I could smell her.
*i’m cringing as I write this*
I was lost for months. No chicks. No recovery. What was the point of it all?
I once asked on the forum, what’s the point of game, if you can’t get what you want? What if you can only settle for what you come across?
Did I change up my diet? Get a hair cut? Start Working out?
I ran. I left town. I left the state. I couldn’t even be within the same 1,000 miles as her.
My short game got tighter as I cared less and less about the chicks that I dealt with. The proverbial GFTOW, go fuck ten other women, it distracted me of course – but I was lost to other chicks on an emotional level.
But I got through it. Took about 18 months for me to really move past the whole thing.
I had hope.
“The title most probably has its origin in the Biblical passage 1 Kings 18:41-45, which speaks of a cloud above the sea, no bigger than a man’s hand, which is seen from Mount Carmel. The tiny cloud’s scriptural significance is as the sign of hope that heralds the end of a long drought.”
Let’s be real clear, a lot of these venues do not want black crowds. They don’t want Latinos. They don’t want Indians, Arabs, or Asians. Some of the spots don’t want rough looking white dudes though.
You can mitigate some of this by
Dressing Well (entirely better than everyone else)
Paying Cover (when no one else is)
Not rolling in groups of 2 or more.
But for the most part, clubs typically have these racist policies to keep me and mine out. It is what it is.
To an extent, you can run game on the door guy, bouncer, and person taking cash – and this is basically what I build into my “creating a circuit” mentality. They know you’re cool, you are bringing the party.
Typically, the guy enforcing the policy isn’t usually racist. Often times these super white clubs will have huge black bouncers. The owner’s are usually of Middle East or Indian extraction – but they don’t want a bunch of Muhammad’s and Sanjay’s at the door.
Rich white guys want to party with primarily pretty white girls. White guys don’t want competition, and white girls that are into this scene don’t want to deal with “aggressive” minority guys nor get blown out by sexy Latinas and Asians.
The owners typically want to keep the club as a lily white as possible for as long as possible. Because clubs have a life cycle. The first few months, it’s cool and hot and exclusive. But the (white) people who make it cool and hot have no loyalty and will bolt…so the big money has to be made early on. You’ll find that some of these places don’t have any clientele outside of Friday and Saturday. Some won’t even be open.
So that’s one of the down sides of the club game.
As a club goer, I’ve found and so will you – a more laid back but fun atmosphere will be better for your game overall. These country club/velvet rope type places will suck the life out of you.
Q. Archie, I’m just starting out in the game, and none of my friends are players or would make good wing men.
a) How can I go out alone?
b) Do I sit by myself or try to join a group immediately
c) How do I explain why I’m alone
A. Just reading this question breaks my heart. But we’ve all been there.
The first part of every WIA analysis should be to ask – what’s going on in a new player’s mind? Because get the mindset right, that changes the subcommunications, which alters the communications ultimately ending in results.
Game (definition #287) is advanced socializing.
So when the “ancients” taught game, they assumed that
That you could make friends
That you could get a date
In the old days, the whole point of game was to fast forward the typical courtship process of months of dates and expensive dinners before you could get “lucky’. Things have seriously changed, and the average American/Westerner basic socialization skills have atrophied, thank to the internet.
As game left the newsgroups and hit the mainstream, the guys most attracted to it had no social skills. They didn’t have the baseline.
Not having a baseline is fine. It’s not a cause for alarm. You probably have a baseline, but you haven’t been working out your social muscles. You’ll find that a lot of my advice goes about bedding women goes back to talking to people in general. Building up that wealth of experience of striking up conversations, knowing where they’re going to go
You’re going to be in your head about those sort of things, thinking you’re inadequate, not knowing what to do or where to turn.
So let’s get to the practicalities of running game on the solo.
How can I go out alone?
Socialize Prior to Talking to Girls – Pick a night, pick a club. In general, clubs get packed between 11 PM and 2 AM. Go early. Talk to the door guy, talk to the person taking the cover, if there is one. There will be a bartender, wait staff, bouncers, and dj’s. Talk to them
There will also be fellow people at the bar. Talk to whoever is close to you. There will definitely be a lot of guys holding up the wall, drinks at chest level. Talk sports, talk girls, talk whatever. Just talk.
Establish a Home Base – Should you sit by yourself? First, there’s no problem with being by yourself as you progress. But a good beginner’s tactic is to find yourself a place *next* to a group, and then make that a home base.
In practice, you get to the bar, you chat up the staff. Then you find the nearest group of guys and girls that are chatting. Say what’s up, exchange pleasantries and chill. Then start approaching. After every approach, head back to where that group is. To outsiders, these people look like your friends. As you advance, one of the better techniques is meeting these “bar friends”, then approaching, then introducing the girls you approach to the “bar friends”.
What About Your Friends? – This gets into when a girl says something to you that strikes at an insecurity. Mouth breathers see every thing as a test, but a lot of what girls do isn’t conscious and malicious. But when you have a bad reaction to her innocent action – that shows your weakness – and you stop sub-communicating/radiating your true essence.
I’ll say this again. A man’s strength and weakness is his logic. A woman’s strength and weakness is her emotions. (which arguably is just logic from a different p.o.v).
The playing field isn’t level. In most situations that count, a man can’t use his reason directly to bed a woman. He has to use emotion, but in an intelligent way. A woman can use “man’s logic” and “female emotion” to affect the man. Just like a we can watch Friends and basically know how the show will play out, but outsiders can’t fathom our own cultural product.
So when a chick or her friends asks you “So where are your friends?”
Assume it’s not a malicious question. (though it very may well be).
Even if it is malicious, you want to assume it’s innocent – BECAUSE -if you think the chick is trying to make you feel insecure – you will either a) feel insecure, b) want to retaliate, c) explain yourself. At the frame level – this is the girl imposing her reality on you.
You should have friends. Why are you here alone? You must be a loser.
All of those things will be in your mind, taking you out of your zone, affecting your body language, nullifying whatever good and clever things you might have to say.
Assume the Best.
Chica – “So where are your friends?”
Player – “Mannnn…my friends…so dig this, my boy Lamont…”
What the player does is assume the best about the question, and uses that possible test as a way to show more of his personality. (or in Mystery Method speak – he takes a shit test as an opportunity to demonstrate value)
He launches into a story about his friends. Ideally you can just think of something that happened to your friends recently. Ideally you’ve got the mental chops to rewrite real stories to draw out the drama and humor. (that’s a good idea for a post)
Take heart little homie, we’ll turn you into a player.