Compliments and Bar Openers

Andy asked this question

I was searching for ‘opener’ info and saw some of your posts on rooshv forum. There was one thread where I think you advised to never open with any sort of compliment – even one not directed at her beauty, but at maybe an item of clothing or something. ”Hey, I like your trainers!” sort of thing.

Can you confirm that this is ‘bad’ practice? Lots of people do this on infield clips I see.

How would you open a girl in a bar – say 11pm in a small bar in a local town?

On Compliments

1) Compliment openers are not for guys new to the game.
a) That’s what regular guys do
b) You don’t want to do what regular guys do
c) If a girl doesn’t value your opinion, then it’s more of an annoyance
d) Even if it starts the conversation – it doesn’t really show much personality on your part – and no personality = no value.  So on the shot clock, you’ve wasted valuable seconds.

There are good ways to do compliment openers – but it’s only after you get used to talking to girls, and hitting the emotional high notes and craziness that they like.
I could do it, but a guy new to the game probably couldn’t.

West Indians use compliments to open all the time – but they’re not earnest compliments.

Dread – “Gyal yuh suh sweet dat di mango knock yuh door fi sugar”

In English – “Girl you’re so sweet that the mango knocks on your door for sugar.  ”

The compliment is so ridiculous and over the top, and delivered with a smile – that the point of the compliment is not the content themselves – but the preposterous nature.

It shows creativity and personality, much more than tells the girl that she’s sweet.

It makes a chick laugh. And when you make someone laugh, that’s them falling in to your frame.  You doing stuff to control their moods and emotions.

An example from General Degree

Square guys, newbs – they’ll say,

“Your eyes are so beautiful. “

That’s an earnest compliment – and from some stranger – it means nothing.

“Nice shoes”  – if she’s wearing heels, and they’re sexy – it’s not really giving her anything to work with, to react from.

Replace it with, “I know exactly what you want right now” – “A nice pair of comfy bunny rabbit slippers with the ears..”

2) Small Bar in a Local Town

Keep in mind this West Indian Archie – a black guy writing about game for Black, Latino, Indian, Asian, and Middle Eastern guys – I (we) have to be mindful in Small Town America.

Some of my majority-American readers would not have to be mindful, and could come in hard and direct and sexual from the very beginning.

In general,
– I’d approach from the side
– I’d be loud
– Turn to her and say

“You look like a person/lady/woman who….” <-cold read works better than environmental openers because she might have missed whatever you’re noticing

– Give it a few seconds
– If she reacts positive/negative or does nothing – follow it up with whatever I started

Now I talk a lot in general, I can improvise on the spot.  You might not have those skills yet.  So think about something that happened to you today.
Turn it into an opener by 1) cold read to open, 2) follow up with a story that gives her a chance to give her input

I’m writing this a few days after the 1st big Clinton Trump debate, so I might go with a current event.

“Did you hear Donald Trump sniffing…You think he’s on coke? That’s what they’re saying online”

….after the attention get, after the cold read, after the story…you will hit the social hook point (RSD Julien calls it that) where she’s cool to chat.
Then you need to push for the sexual hook point – where she actively wants to talk to you – and not just to shoot the shit.

The foundation of my game, is that I’m an interesting dude that people like to talk to.
So if that’s what you’re aiming for, keep reading my stuff.

If you’re more of a hard charging alpha, “my way or the highway”, I can’t tell you how to do that successfully all the time.


Keeping Her Happy?

Guys come to the game mostly based on the fact that chicks are not rational, reasonable, accountable, or willing to follow through.

– “Is there something I can do to make her behavior consistent?”
– “I behave consistently, why doesn’t she follow my lead?”
– “When I change it up, she gets mad.  When she changes it up, and I get mad, she gets mad at me for being mad at her…”

What game seems to do is explain some of their behavior – finds the internal logic.

Once you start viewing women through some of the game philosophies – things start to make a lot of sense.

What game hasn’t answered sufficiently in my opinion – is what to do to make something work long term.

She has to want it to work on an emotional level, not a logical one.

A chick will divorce you with 7 kids to parent and feed (See Brad Pitt)

So the work around has been to feed her emotional things to keep her mind occupied.   But like exercise or a cat with a string – it gets bored and wants new challenges.

Thus there’s a bunch of things that guys have come up with – but overall – these chicks still get bored.

Betas buy her stuff, take her places, give her children.
Alphas are dismissive, don’t care about her feelings.
Players come through and listen to her thoughts, and give her insight on life.

None of it is good enough for all women for all of the time.

You can screen upfront, but unless you keep the chick locked in the basement – she’s going to get new information, new wants, new desires, and new feelings.

So you’re constantly having to keep her in check.

And then there are those guys that are so focused on self, and only intermittently turn their attention to females – and they give them quality time…but then it’s back to the program.

So if she wants those feelings, she has to work for them, because just her being there, just her giving sex is NOT enough.

Switch the game up.

More later.


Two Failed Forum Posts

Got this cued up to my favorite part of this song…

  • Baby, be mellow
  • and be sweet
  • forget about the diet, sit down and eat
  • losing that weight you don’t
  • because the more you got, the more I want…

But let the whole thing rock out.  James had a whole lot of game.  The very end, where he’s setting up the punch line….that’s how you run proper Black Man game…

This ain’t about James though.  Two failed post in the two days.

On Sed Fast, there’s an old thread that’s tangentially about 10’s.  But there’s an interesting point about some of the dissonance with the ten thing.

Let’s Get the Definition of a 10 out of the Way

I’m not gonna post those kinda pics on my site.   But there are considered 10’s.

These are legit fashion models

Here’s another set of 10’s – The Victoria Secret Angel’s

If you’re here – with Archie – reading my stuff, your idea of a 10 is probably not in line with these “objective” 10s.    If you’re the sort of person that dreams of flying off to Moldova and learning a slavic language to slay tall skinny girls….well….

But when guys talk about the game, they talk about how they feel, and that their game lacks when chatting up these “10’s”.

I have questions

  1. First of all, where they finding these objective 10 type chicks?  But more importantly….
  2. Is it true/”deep in your balls” sort of attraction?  Or is attraction that’s socially conditioned?  Like when you see one of these cat eyed looking giraffes, are you thinking to yourself, “Man I want to put a baby in that womb now, I’ll worry about the consequences later..”

But those are pre-lim questions – talk amongst yoruselves.

What really got this whole thing sparked, (aside from being able to highlight one of my favorite James Brown moments in one of my fave James Brown songs) is the idea of

The more you got, the more I want.

Sometimes you come across a chick that is conventionally attractive, but she’s not quite the socially approved objective 10.

In our community, it might be a relative 10.  Say a Beyonce or a Teyana Taylor (She’s in the latest Kanye video – Fade) or a Diane Guerrero (Orange is the New Black).

I’m kinda not talking about that chick either.

Sometimes you…”get a whiff” of a chick..and that scent goes straight to the reptile part of your brain.  The part that controls fighting and hunger.   Like you just want to the tear the chick out of the frame, full on animal lust.

You veterans know what I’m talking about.  Like a man dying from thirst comes across an oasis, and drinks for hours.

My question is, when faced with something that hits you deep in your balls

Does your game get better?

That of course leads my mind to think of other things

  • If that hunger drives my game to get good, how can I do things that will inspire it.
  • How do I recognize that hunger?  Have I been in that state of mind before, but didn’t know what it was, nor how to capitalize on it….


The Sex Addict

[Ed. Trying to work through a backlog of half finished pieces]

This one was sparked the a comment on the forum about needing to have all your internal stuff sorted out before you can pull 1) quantity, 2) quality.


If you do this long enough, if you pay attention , you’ll see all sorts of guys pull.  There are all sorts of rackets to having sex.   Only one of which is “Cold Approach Conversion Game”

So when I hear a young guy coming into the game talking about having to build up internally in order to get chicks, I just shake my head.

I look at the guys that I know get a fair amount of trim, and some of them are emotionally healthy, and others have deep issues.

I’ve mentioned one of the dudes before. He’s a full on sex addict. He has four kids, three different mothers, and will still spend his time in clubs.

When he can’t get out, he’ll order up a pro. I’ve seen him work, and heard his pulls. Flash game to get her open, then drills down on her insecurity.

He’s not really right in his life. Either he’s deeply insecure or he’s overly full of himself.

But he pulls like crazy despite not being together mentally.  Indeed, it’s his faults that probably *help* him pull.

Bagging chicks is a skillset. Arguably it’s a mindset, but that’s for later

Famous Players that have the Skill Set, but don’t necessarily

  • Mystery – Most famously with his break down in the game
  • Style – according to him in his latest book
  • Tyler – again, we’ve seen that
  • Some of the other RSD instructors who’ve attracted notoriety over the years

Now, to be fair, if you want to teach pick up professionally, it’s a lot of dealing with young girls drama, and a whole lot of handling people.  On top of that, you’re dealing with male personalities and egos.   The nature of the work isn’t as conducive to mental calm as say library science.

Outside of our world, crazy chicks pull guys.   Within my community, when a guy dates a crazy chick, the assumption is that the pussy must be bananas.

“Whoa, she slashed your tires dawg?  Bet that gunch is fire..”

Game is a skill set.

  • See the girl.  Approach. Start the conversation.
  • Dazzle her.  Get her to invest and double down.
  • Give her some rapport,
  • Find someplace to get cozy
  • Read Qur’an verses to each other.

Maybe your mindset and internals give you bad body language,  poor micro-expressions, but these are things that you can smooth over with practice.  If you needed a shrink to work out all of your mommy and daddy issues, no one would get laid.


Can U Feel Me?

The content of the routine/opener/conversation is only 7% important.  The sub-communication, the “real” conversation is 93% important.

Technically, the 93% refers to expressing emotion.  So while not actually true for general communication – since we’re trying to influence the emotions – i.e. make her feel good, surprise her, use novelty – 93% is good enough for government work.

Stepping up, being confident, know that there’s going to be a reaction as a result of what you say – is why the routines work.  It’s why jokes work.  It’s why sales scripts work.

And taking the randomness out of it, reducing people to just variables is why a lot of dry dick mf’ers and arm chair seducers hate it.

Those of us who actually like sex will use what works and worry about the degradation of the arts later.

Now, I definitely push a more “technical” side of the game, but that’s not because the deeper concepts aren’t useful.  It’s just that it’s through the technique that you understand the deeper concepts.

  • When you can reliably start a conversation
  • When you know the right time to touch a girl’s elbow during that conversation
  • When you see the physical proof and her behavior changes as you take her through various emotions through what you say, don’t say, how you touch, and don’t touch…

When those things happen – you start to see the deeper picture.  When I affect her emotional state, when I make her feel something, she starts to like me.   And arguably it’s because she likes the way she feels when she’s around you.

She said she feel free when she’s around me
I’m letting her do her and, in turn, she’s doing me
She on the phone with her friends like, “How cool is he?”

For me at least, I’ve always been concerned about transference of feelings.

She doesn’t like me, she just likes the way I make her feel.

That thought pattern leads to bad things.  It could be that these chicks don’t ever really like us for us…but real rap, a lot of the time we don’t like them for them.  For what they look like, for what they do for us. But as people…. Tell me I’m lying….