Hot Girls, Ugly Guys, and Personal Responsibility

1. Scarlett Johannsson
This is Scarlett Johannsson’s first boyfriend, Jack Antonoff

Whatever you think about his looks, she could have dated other guys that were more attractive.

She ended up marrying Ryan Reynolds, a man who could have gotten way more attractive than her. (she also divorced Ryan Reynolds…)

2. Christina Hendricks
Here is Christina Hendricks from Mad Men and her husband, some small time actor Geoffrey Arend

There is clearly an imbalance here looks wise.

Some people shake their heads, but I raise my glass to the Palestinian pimp.  The fact that he’s an actor…

3. Mariah Carey

Nick Cannon is not a particularly good looking dude.  We do know that he’s relatively funny and a hard worker.


So how does this happen?

And the reverse, where ugly chicks get attractive dudes – that’s called Boston

Why does “assortative mating” (9’s get with 9’s, and 5’s get with 5’s) fail repeatedly?

Because women are different than men.

They lead different lives, have different experiences, want different things.

The ultimate example of the failure of assortative mating will be from your own life.

Anytime you’re with any chick, get her to show you the guys that liked her on Tinder.  Have her tell you why she didn’t get with the muscle bound guy, showing his six pack, leaning on his Benz.

Send me 20 bucks if she says something like “he looks good but………….”

You’ll hear those exact words or something like that all night.

It’s hard for men to accept the fact that women value more than looks.
Because that’s all we claim to value.  (It’s a lie that we tell ourselves, because the truth is after you bang her out – you look at her differently)

How can she be that much different than us?

The truth?  These chicks are “alien”, and they operate on an entirely different plane of existence.  That’s why they’re hard to communicate with, understand, explain, or predict – using “male pattern logic”.

Most recent episode of Girls (something all you guys that are in to snow bunnies should be watching if you want to understand the female mind)

They’re all wearing Uggs

From season 6, episode 2
– One of the characters, Shoshanna (girl #1  in this photo), made plans to go to Aruba with 2 friends, 2 of her BEST FRIENDS
– Day of the trip, Shoshanna’s cousin asks her to go to the local beach, because some local celebrity might be there.
– Shoshanna blows off this trip that she had been planning for months, with her best friends. She makes up some lame excuse to back out (where have we seen this before?) and then fucks up the trip for the 2 friends that could barely afford it.

Q. Why would she hang them out to dry? 

A. To hang out with her cousin for the POSSIBILITY of a celebrity that the COUSIN is interested in.

^This is fucked up enough.  Like Shoshanna wasn’t going to get anything out of going with the cousin at all.  Nothing tangible, other than she gets to share in the experience that her cousin MIGHT have.

But there’s more to this.

Years later (episode in question), Shosh is trying to curry favor with her former best friends.  As sit-coms go, of course the Cousin that fucked it up, invites herself along, and turns the reconnect into a shit show.  The old best friends still hold a grudge, and they don’t want to befriends again.

Shoshanna finally blows up at Cousin – but Shoshanna blames the Cousin for her own god damned choices.

Shoshanna should have blamed HERSELF, but instead, she blames the people around her for her *own* bad decisions.  She displaces responsibility.

I was on the train earlier this year.  2 girls were chatting about Girl A wearing something that wasn’t stylish.

“You got me out here looking like…”

Even if the statement is in jest, it tells you about how they think and operate.  And if you’ve ever been chatting a chick up, and she’s really feeling you, and then the “best” friend comes into your situation and yanks the chick away – that tells you a lot about their behavior and mindset.

Collective/responsibility displacing behavior is a theme of the show – the source of a lot of its comedy and insight – but also ALIEN to the male mind.  It’s a hard show to watch if you’re “Man’s Man”.

They never do what is “logical”.  Indeed, plenty of other women disagree with choices that these particular women make.  But that’s what makes the show brilliant.

To turn this back to us,

A lot of men consider themselves victims, but deep down we know that we’re fat/poor/lonely et cetera because of choices we made.  Whether we want to accept responsibility and change – is a question that comes to mind.  It’s a factor in our behavior.

The key issue here – is that as a population – men really do recognize personal responsibility.   That we are actually in control of our lives.

Whether this is actually true – whether we actually are entirely in control – or that there are forces bigger than us that actually control the trajectory of our lives (watch The Wire if you don’t understand the relationship of man to society around him)…

That doesn’t matter.   What matters is that we think that we are.

And that’s not a one-to-one fit with how women see/view/experience the world.  In every avenue of life, most men feel like they have some control.  Even when we don’t.  In many avenues of life, many women, feel like they don’t have any control.  So they give up their power.

Indeed, this general principle – of not having agency – of letting others decide – that manifests itself in the game in 2 concepts, one major one minor.

The major concept is framing.  You control the frame, you control the behavior.

The minor concept is plausible deniability.   She can’t ever make the conscious decision to do certain things, so you give her a reason, a story to tell herself, and then things just kinda happen.

So let’s recap.

Guys pull chicks above their looks because more than looks matter.

Why does behavior trump looks? Because girls operate on a different wavelength than guys

An example of this different wavelength – is that girls will put the responsibility on others.

So the player focuses on his behavior, the effect of his behavior on her decision making, knowing that she often does not want responsibility of the situation, or to be held accountable for her actions


Pimping Ain’t Easy Part 78

This article is full of goodies.

So the TL DR on the article is that it’s an interview with 3 pimps in a Texas prison. We here at WIA (we being just me, but it’s a royal “we” cause I’m on some King shit) – are against PIMPING, human trafficking, and sexual slavery.

But pimps, just like politicians, and preachers are prime examples of perfect persuaders.

Where a lot of men have issues getting a girl to respond to a text, these people are able to get women to sell their bodies.  And when you really think about how our society works – your college takes your money on the PROMISE of a reward in the end. Your pastor takes your tithes on the PROMISE of a reward in Heaven.  Your boss keeps you from leaving the job and going out on your own by giving you a PERCENTAGE of what they make on your efforts.   In a sense, we’re all in a huge PYRAMID scheme.  The PHAROAHS at the top don’t even deal with the same rules that we do.  They don’t learn the same things we do.  We don’t learn about power.  That’s all they do.  Most of the bad things that happen in this world are about POWER, and people with it struggling against other people with POWER.

So what can we learn from these pimps?  Can we grab facts, mindsets, or techniques?

First little goodie

Jasmine Johnson, 26, is serving a 25-year sentence for trafficking a minor — a young victim the Tribune is featuring in this series. Johnson still maintains her innocence in that case, though she spoke openly about her experience as a pimp who led a group of eight adult women in Dallas

This is rich because – 1) the Pimp is a woman, 2) she’s still playing the victim even though she’s the victimizer, 3) she can’t shut the hell up about her crimes, 4) this 26 year old woman led a group of 8 ADULT WOMEN.

Pimps, in common conception, are usually men.   And we would think that no able bodied/sound minded woman would let ANOTHER woman tell her to who to fuck, and how much to charge.

What could one woman hold over the other women to keep her in check?  It’s not strength of the body.  It’s strength of the mind!

How did you first get into the sex trade?

Johnson: I guess ’cause my daddy wasn’t a part of my life, I acted out. I hated to see my mama struggle. I just started hustling. I knew I always had pimping stuff in me, but I didn’t call it that.

You’ve heard it before.  If it was a dude, this is how he started selling drugs, or got involved in a gang.

Here’s how one of the guys got into it


I didn’t have the money to go back to school, so I was just working odd jobs. I kind of started getting in the streets in Dallas. I was staying in hotels. Motel 6es, two-and-a-half, three-star hotels. A lot of girls frequent those hotels. So they used to have clients that come to those hotels. But sometimes they get rowdy. They’re drunk, or they’re high.

The girls see me so much in the room that they start to friend me. And they ask me to have their back. Don’t let nobody hurt them while they do what they do. It just kinda started out like that.

So what this tells me is that these prostitutes need muscle.  Two, they also were basically trying to get protection out of this man for free.  These put upon women, who were basically too good to get a job at McDonald’s and wanted to live the high life – were still using the people around them. I do not want to imply that Harris was exploited – but that’s essentially what happened.  They played on his “white knight” tendencies – but they didn’t realize what they were doing.

How did you recruit girls to sell sex?

If you meet a female, she don’t got no family, she don’t got nowhere to stay, but you got a little bit of money, you doing for her, you putting a roof over her head, feeding her … she going to end up trusting you, depending on you.

Y’all have some talks about the future, selling her the dream. It’s like, “Well, what are we going to do? What can we do? If you are really about this union, about this team, you are going to do this, it’s on you.”

Okay, this is stuff we know.  The pimp puts the girl up, takes care of her life, and all she has to do is pay him back.  And of course he has a solution.

The issue here is that he’s a factory owner in a 3rd world country.  Any sweatshop job he offers will be “better” than subsistence farming.   Just like any job that we take is better than living at home with the parents, or living on the streets.  And if sex wasn’t so “sacred” – we could conceivably come up with a better system.  In the West, societies want prostitutes to be small business persons.  Any sort of oversight or management is EVIL.  But when the business is not sex-work, regulation and management are the order of the day.   Uber driving is prostituting your labor and capital – because the system isn’t set up to really match people with rides – the driver really doesn’t have any practical agency.  Indeed, it’s not a spare/part time job – because the rest of the economy is forcing people into this kind of work…  Should see parallels…

K.A continues

You’ve got some females, they run their own, they manage theyselves. But most, they want a daddy to feel secure, to feel like they got somebody watching out for them.

Are you starting to see it? In realistic terms, unless the guy has a camera in the room and a hand on the pistol – he can’t actually protect the girl from a customer. BUT, she needs to FEEL protected.

So here Harris goes into why a girl would choose to have a manager when she doesn’t need one to sell her goods

Harris: A lot of people always think that somebody’s making them do it or forcing them to do it. That’s not the case. Most cases, these girls are already doing it. They’re doing it on their own. It’s just, they hate to be by themselves, or they can’t take care of their money.

So now we got three reasons

  1. She needs to feel protected, like someone is looking out for her
  2. She can’t be by herself
  3. She can’t take care of her money

So when you’re chatting these chicks up – you understand that when you’re dealing with her, she needs to feel protected.  You also understand that for reasons other than safety, she can’t be by herself.  She’s a social animal (like all of us are).  But when you give her a stack of cash – she doesn’t know how to save and invest.   Again, you got all these boys in oilfield or working blue collar jobs making 100K+ (investment bankers) – and they never learn to live well below their means.  They do not know how take 1,000 bucks and put it into something that’s going to make them money.  (Hell, I could learn to be better at that)

On Sex

Johnson – If it’s a new girl trying to get on my team, I have sex with them first because I know I can get in they head. Once I make love to them, or what they think is love

It was like I mind-fucked ’em. I was in they head.

And then after that, they just start giving me whatever I need. They give me all they money. They cater to me, they spoiled me. All of them did this for me. And even though I know it was kind of wrong for putting them through that because they ain’t have to do it — but they chose to. I didn’t make them. I didn’t force them. It just ended up happening like that.

So She‘s able to get with the chick – not loving her, not particularly interested in the pleasure of sex – but her mind is on the money.  This FEMALE pimp is using sex as a mental weapon.

That should stand out to you.

Can you do everything you need to do as a player – and then focus on something other than the pleasure of sex?  The point of the PUA lifestyle, of Game, is about the hedonistic aspect of sex.

When you’re deep in them guts, all you’re thinking about is pleasure. It could be that a female pimp isn’t as vulnerable to the power of pussy.

What draws people to pimping?

K.A.: It’s like free money. You don’t gotta re-up. If you sell drugs, you gotta pay for the drugs at a wholesale and then go back and stack yo’ money. If you selling sex, that’s something that you don’t gotta re-up on.

This is what is known as the abundance mentality. Moreover, the idea is that there’s plenty of sex out there.  There’s an infinite amount available.

The rest of the article is about the economics and the bad stuff associated with the trade.  I highlighted the game aspects


She was already in to you!


“I think game is mostly about getting the lay with girls who are at some level with it to begin with. You’re learning to successfully accommodate what in some sense they already want to do. You might call it the “art of plausible deniability.”


And this is where I think a lot of the confusion about game comes in.

If you detect a chick is digging you – the play is to make her invest, and when she invests – you up the ante.

I think a lot of guys, even ones that have been in the game a bit, aren’t really into conversion.

Here’s how they run their game

  • Ping the target.
  • Hit the gas on the green light

If the target is neutral, slightly reluctant, or out and out negative – a lot of guys don’t invest anytime into the situation.   To be honest “Ping and Bang” is one of the defaults of Black Guy Game.  It is primarily about efficiency, and with the idea that  you’re attractive enough, it’s just a matter of hitting on more chicks with more confidence.

It’s a fine strategy – if the venue is packed – and there are enough cute girls so that you don’t have to discriminate.

Not a good strategy for times when

  • Slim pickings
  • When you want to have choice

I think you guys know that.  And if you don’t know, now you know.


With the basics out of the way – let’s put down the practical and pick up the theory.

Game is conversion.  It’s doing and saying things that operate on her psychology.  I say it damn near every post, but i’m hammering a message.

Now the $64,000 question is whether she likes you and lets you keep spitting at her.

Or is your “game” the thing that’s working?

Let’s be even more explicit.

You see a chick with her 2 girlfriends.  Like the textbook, you open the GROUP with something.

“Yeah, the President is sure acting crazy.  I wonder if he’s gonna make it through the term…”

The chick you like doesn’t give a damn about politics.  She’s not particularly into the conversation even if her friends are.

So let’s establish the fact that at this moment in time – the target does not like you.  This is a very common occurrence.

Now if you keep rapping to the 2 that do like chatting you up, and you keep throwing some bait out, doing some conversational tricks – and the target then gets off her phone, listens, and starts to participate ….

That means your game worked.  Period. End of story.

Now just having a chick in a conversation is not enough – but she could easily ignore you, stay on her phone, walk away, get her girlfriends to walk away with her, tell you to leave.

If she’s  nonchalant from jump, but you keep on rapping, and she starts to interact – GAME ON.



Cut her off mentality

Is because guys
1) must have control, over everything

2) don’t know any thing other than withdraw attention from her, and put the attention on themselves (self improvement) or other girls (dread or competition anxiety)

With this mentality the better strategy ends up being to never get involved on an emotional level, so that one can actually pull up stakes on a whim. The always have a suitcase packed idea. You can’t ever become emotionally involved – a man’s experience with love gets replaced with cold rationality.

But like at the end of the movie Heat, where Deniro has been preaching to drop everything if you need to escape but can’t live up to his own aside.

The problem is the mindset. Withdrawing one’s attention seems like the only option because very little time has ever been spent on learning the true power of the reframe.

Patrice O’Neal, patron saint of truly old school game doesn’t use the term reframe. He says that he gives a girl options on how to think.

When the customer is focused on price, the salesman who previously qualified her in disposable income, shifts the conversation to convenience, style, things that are less concrete than price.

In XXL’s thread on how to react to a woman acting up, Mufasa had a great gambit

You’re trying to end this relationship over that?

He reframes her behavior as an attempt to end the relationship. That is basically a sea shift, a ground change.

It needn’t be that extreme or harsh. The way a girl trains a guy is to basically do the same thing, when he does something and she says to him, “this is what you think of me?”

The power of that sort of reframe is that it forces the guy to defend himself in the present, but she’s trying to get him to conform his behavior in the future. To think of her first whenever HE does anything.

It’s not a 100% strategy, because unless you warp her mind or vice versa, she still has agency. But it goes a long way to modify her behavior.

So in the situation of a long term relationship, the reason that good players
1) make her invest
2) put a price on themselves
3) have a hot and cold nature
4) stay social, keep building themselves

Is to mold the chick, cultivate her mind.
To give her new ways of thinking.