1. Scarlett Johannsson
This is Scarlett Johannsson’s first boyfriend, Jack Antonoff
Whatever you think about his looks, she could have dated other guys that were more attractive.
She ended up marrying Ryan Reynolds, a man who could have gotten way more attractive than her. (she also divorced Ryan Reynolds…)
2. Christina Hendricks
Here is Christina Hendricks from Mad Men and her husband, some small time actor Geoffrey Arend
There is clearly an imbalance here looks wise.
Some people shake their heads, but I raise my glass to the Palestinian pimp. The fact that he’s an actor…
3. Mariah Carey
Nick Cannon is not a particularly good looking dude. We do know that he’s relatively funny and a hard worker.
So how does this happen?
And the reverse, where ugly chicks get attractive dudes – that’s called Boston
Why does “assortative mating” (9’s get with 9’s, and 5’s get with 5’s) fail repeatedly?
Because women are different than men.
They lead different lives, have different experiences, want different things.
The ultimate example of the failure of assortative mating will be from your own life.
Anytime you’re with any chick, get her to show you the guys that liked her on Tinder. Have her tell you why she didn’t get with the muscle bound guy, showing his six pack, leaning on his Benz.
Send me 20 bucks if she says something like “he looks good but………….”
You’ll hear those exact words or something like that all night.
It’s hard for men to accept the fact that women value more than looks.
Because that’s all we claim to value. (It’s a lie that we tell ourselves, because the truth is after you bang her out – you look at her differently)
How can she be that much different than us?
The truth? These chicks are “alien”, and they operate on an entirely different plane of existence. That’s why they’re hard to communicate with, understand, explain, or predict – using “male pattern logic”.
Most recent episode of Girls (something all you guys that are in to snow bunnies should be watching if you want to understand the female mind)
From season 6, episode 2
– One of the characters, Shoshanna (girl #1 in this photo), made plans to go to Aruba with 2 friends, 2 of her BEST FRIENDS
– Day of the trip, Shoshanna’s cousin asks her to go to the local beach, because some local celebrity might be there.
– Shoshanna blows off this trip that she had been planning for months, with her best friends. She makes up some lame excuse to back out (where have we seen this before?) and then fucks up the trip for the 2 friends that could barely afford it.
Q. Why would she hang them out to dry?
A. To hang out with her cousin for the POSSIBILITY of a celebrity that the COUSIN is interested in.
^This is fucked up enough. Like Shoshanna wasn’t going to get anything out of going with the cousin at all. Nothing tangible, other than she gets to share in the experience that her cousin MIGHT have.
But there’s more to this.
Years later (episode in question), Shosh is trying to curry favor with her former best friends. As sit-coms go, of course the Cousin that fucked it up, invites herself along, and turns the reconnect into a shit show. The old best friends still hold a grudge, and they don’t want to befriends again.
Shoshanna finally blows up at Cousin – but Shoshanna blames the Cousin for her own god damned choices.
Shoshanna should have blamed HERSELF, but instead, she blames the people around her for her *own* bad decisions. She displaces responsibility.
I was on the train earlier this year. 2 girls were chatting about Girl A wearing something that wasn’t stylish.
“You got me out here looking like…”
Even if the statement is in jest, it tells you about how they think and operate. And if you’ve ever been chatting a chick up, and she’s really feeling you, and then the “best” friend comes into your situation and yanks the chick away – that tells you a lot about their behavior and mindset.
Collective/responsibility displacing behavior is a theme of the show – the source of a lot of its comedy and insight – but also ALIEN to the male mind. It’s a hard show to watch if you’re “Man’s Man”.
They never do what is “logical”. Indeed, plenty of other women disagree with choices that these particular women make. But that’s what makes the show brilliant.
To turn this back to us,
A lot of men consider themselves victims, but deep down we know that we’re fat/poor/lonely et cetera because of choices we made. Whether we want to accept responsibility and change – is a question that comes to mind. It’s a factor in our behavior.
The key issue here – is that as a population – men really do recognize personal responsibility. That we are actually in control of our lives.
Whether this is actually true – whether we actually are entirely in control – or that there are forces bigger than us that actually control the trajectory of our lives (watch The Wire if you don’t understand the relationship of man to society around him)…
That doesn’t matter. What matters is that we think that we are.
And that’s not a one-to-one fit with how women see/view/experience the world. In every avenue of life, most men feel like they have some control. Even when we don’t. In many avenues of life, many women, feel like they don’t have any control. So they give up their power.
Indeed, this general principle – of not having agency – of letting others decide – that manifests itself in the game in 2 concepts, one major one minor.
The major concept is framing. You control the frame, you control the behavior.
The minor concept is plausible deniability. She can’t ever make the conscious decision to do certain things, so you give her a reason, a story to tell herself, and then things just kinda happen.
So let’s recap.
Guys pull chicks above their looks because more than looks matter.
Why does behavior trump looks? Because girls operate on a different wavelength than guys
An example of this different wavelength – is that girls will put the responsibility on others.
So the player focuses on his behavior, the effect of his behavior on her decision making, knowing that she often does not want responsibility of the situation, or to be held accountable for her actions