I coulda told you that

What the Germans are studying..

Not paying attention to most of it, but the key thing here

“Improvements in gender equality and sexual education…have not helped women become more orgasmic”

They’re basically looking at the whole problem wrong.

-Archie

Pimp or Simp

The homey soup dropped a thread over at McQueens.

So let’s lay out the facts.

  1. They meet on Bumble – Minus
  2. He proposes Pizza and a movie – Minus
  3. She agrees – Plus
  4. She drives – Minus
  5. He drives her Car – Plus
  6. At the movies she starts to use her phone – Minus
  7. He asks her to take it outside – ?
  8. She leaves – Minus
  9. He ask her to pay – ?
  10. He harasses her friends and family – Minus
  11. He sues her in court – ?
  12. Story goes viral – ?
  13. She pays him to end the madness -?

His version of the story is essentially that it was a date from hell.  Her version is basically the same.

He sues her because he stands on principle.  A bunch of social do gooders offer to pay him the 17.31.  Why?  I don’t know?  Some of them are movie theaters – and if there’s one thing movie theaters hate – IT’S PEOPLE USING THEIR DAMN PHONES IN THE MOVIE.

I’ve got a lot of question marks, cause I think some of these actions can go either way.

Now for you guys new to the game – let’s do a quick recap on internet dates.

We, the Players of the Milky Way, prefer to not meet women online as a primary source of contact.  There’s nothing wrong with it, per se, but meeting a girl in person, whatever style you prefer, will give you the right feedback to invite her home for a prayer session.

Internet dating in general, but Bumble is where the girl picks the guy.

*puts on pimp hat*

Now you can see the video.  For guys without game, he knocked it out of the park. She’s way prettier than he is attractive.  If you listen to dude’s voice…well he REALLY KILLED IT.  Aside from her being comfortably in her 30’s, this chick is still way above him.  Jah Almighty.

In any event – she had to dig whatever he was selling to pick him, and then agree to the date.  THEN SHE DRIVES TO GET HIM.  Then she lets him drive her car, the thing that she pays for.  The car that doesn’t have his name on the insurance bill.

So from a game perspective – she’s investing in him, she’s reacting to him.  It really should have been easy as hell from there to make that connection if 1) he had a plan, or 2) he had game.

But something happened after he drove her, fed her, and then got her into the movies.

Now based on his pouch demeanor, I’m guessing the #’s stopped adding up for her. Throw in the voice, and it was basically an attraction killer.

But the game lessons here, for the front end, are that this chick who could date better

  1. Would date him
  2. Would accommodate him
  3. Would let him drive her car

Pimping!

Telling her to chill with the texting was the moment of truth though.  I got to give the man props for telling a woman to stop doing something that is annoying him – instead of just suffering through it, or leaving.

But it’s not clear to me whether he had her respect to that level coming in to it.

So everything that follows after that is straight simping.    Calling for the $, getting her friends involved, filing the lawsuit.

Conclusion

Simp, not Pimp.

-Archie

Orthogonal

Orthogonal is the word of the day.   Instead of coming at a problem straight ahead, you come at from a right angle.

Here in the Northern Hemisphere it’s getting warm.

My people have been doing this since September

So now it’s time to drop this look

And switch to something more “seasonally appropriate”

I usually go to hip hop/urban spots. So it’s a lot of guys that compete on a visual level.

These are typical dudes at the places I frequent.

Off rip?  I would need to be reborn to attain this type of size.  It’s not happening without surgery, drugs, and cybernetic parts from Chiba, Japan. (Word to Gibson)

These guys – they compete straight up

  • Tallest
  • Most muscle
  • Most ice, bottles, gold, labels
  • Best dancer

Yadda, yadda, yadda

If you’ve seen a rap video, well everyone else has too.  And that’s where they get their ideas about how to attract women. It’s learned via observation.  The guys in the rap videos (and at the clubs) attract women by all of the above.

Overall, this sort of features based attraction is a female strategy.

Now keep in mind, a lot of game is using typical female strategy against the girl.  Much like Wing Chun – the martial arts – was developed by a woman – but is deadly in the hands of anyone – game is about using your particular strengths in new ways.

Instead of coming at the chick straight on, by appealing to her visual cortex – you come at her from a right angle.  Orthogonal.

Let’s delve a bit deeper into her game plan.

She depends on her visual appeal to do most of the work.  And there’s a Matthew/Matthia effect with attractive women.  As I’ve often noticed, If I see a girl with really great hair from behind, chances are she’s at least cute in the face. Though sometimes, she’s good from afar, but on the close up – she’s far from good.

The cute chicks, the fine chicks – every thing you can see on her – she works on.  Her skin, eyes, hair, nails, style, purse, jewelry, accessories.   Most of the time it’s overkill.

She puts on a body contouring dress like this one – she doesn’t even need to do her make up.

body-contouring-dress
Teacher Bae.

But as you can tell, she does anyway.  Everything about this picture is about drawing the eye.  There’s not one angle you could take of this chick and not find something attractive.

She does this because male behavior is visually driven.  Much more so than women.

But girls consume with their eyes too, but the static qualities above aren’t the only thing the consciously assess. This is level one.

She sees these dudes at a club

typical-dudes

And she’s many are going to want this dude to holler. (Manly one on side, pretty boy on the other)

But that’s not enough for these chicks.  The higher up in attractiveness you get – the more likely the chick has met guys like these.   The high school girls go crazy, not so much the ones that we’re after.  She’s used to it.  This is her norm.  This bores her.

They look at body language of the guy and how he interacts with people and they can tell who’s sure of himself. Sometimes they’ll verbalize those things. “Look at the way he’s standing” That’s the second level.

The next level is when she interacts with you. Your look and your observed behavior should match up. If you’re a tall, good looking , well dressed guy, and you have the mannerisms of a boss with other people that she sees, she is expecting that from you. And when you interact you can only do three things

Confirm her expectation
Disconfirm it

Or

Defy it

Game is this third option. It’s not playing by her expectations at all. It’s taking her left, in a way that’s pleasurable because it’s new.

So in my urban environment, where you’ve got rappers,, ballers, dealers, dancers, etc – I can’t compete head to head with those guys.

I’m 5’10” and in my 40’s. Getting taller is not in the picture. Getting jacked is probably a two to three year commitment. The flexibility ain’t where it was, so a lot of these attention getting dance moves are not in the cards. Though I got a few minor stacks, I got pussy easier in the Civic than in the 5 series.

So I have to come at chicks from the flank, with guile,

ORTHOGONAL – coming at her from a right angle

And that’s what they don’t expect. And that’s why they respond to me.

Guys don’t make eye contact, approach, lean in, pull back, and mess with a chick’s feelings right off the bat. Not a guy that looks like me.

I don’t have the look.
I may or may not have the body language.
A girl might expect me to be one way.

But when i start interacting with her, all of her preconceptions should come down. She starts over. It’s a new and novel experience. And ideally it’s happening on a nonverbal level.

So eye contact, then go hard and pull off like nothing, leaving a void arguably, that’s something i do that worked for me.

So why don’t guys think like this.  Why do guys always come at chicks head on?

This dude is the role model.

Game is for the Angry and The Indifferent

[Ed. Clearing out 35 or so unfinished posts.  This particular post came out of a discussion about whether game is for girls that like you or girls that are mean or indifferent. Is game for girls that instantly hate you, or don’t acknowledge your existence.  I think the actual question is more complicated, more nuanced – but I think that of all of these questions.]

Caring is Creepy

So you step up to a chick, respectfully, but definitely with your game tight.  And she like doesn’t want to hear it.

What’s up with that?

The truth is, most women do not want to meet anyone new (check out her Social Media – she already has plenty of “friends”)

Unless he ticks off the socially approved boxes or hits her invisible Achilles Heels (size 7) – she’s not that interested in some random guy.

How does she want?

She wants to meet someone that she’s been lusting after that’s ALREADY in her social circle. (A celebrity is also a good answer here. )

  • Guy at work
  • Guy in class
  • Her pastor
  • Her Yoga trainer
  • Guy in her corresponding fraternity to her sorority

Why?

Because he’s vetted.  She “knows” what he’s about.  A known quantity helps with her long term interests, but she’s probably had a chance to wonder “if” and fantasize about him.

The other thing about preferring guys in her social circle is that other girls (that she knows and respect/hate) want him. Thus she wants him partly because they want him.  But she also wants to be better than “all those other bitches”.  The Preacher’s Wife Dynamic.

“He chose me, and I rule all of you bitches through him.”

I’ve said this before, a lot of the social circle game isn’t about her personal pleasure, but causing pain to others.  Real pain sometimes, but more often imagined.  Or perhaps I’ve dated too many hot chicks who like to lord it over (or is that lady?) others.

I recently was chatting with a chick and talking about fashion, style and make up.  [Because that’s the kind of conversation I have with a chick who’s all looks]  She was saying that she was gonna pay someone to “do her eyes”.

The chick was cute or whatever, but then I asked her this.

Archie – “So you’re gonna spend 50 bucks for a professional to do your makeup for 1 event, right?

So what’s your return on investment?”

Thinking to myself some breast implants or some butt shots literally pay for themselves.  Most guys are more willing to spend on a chick if her body is RIGHT. What could she possibly get monetarily from being able to bat her full eyelashes at some dude.

“I get to slay”

Slay?  Da fuck?  I get to look good, and feel like I look better than everyone else.  All Eyez on Me

Think about that. That’s what you’re dealing with.  To understand the “slay” mentality, you have to realize in her world – we (men) aren’t really that important.  What is important is her social standing with WOMEN.  Men? Who cares?

Because for an attractive woman, IT SEEMS like she can have a man/boyfriend at any point in her life.  It’s as complicated as opening Facebook.

Now the actual reality of finding a guy that meets her conscious criteria as well as the guy who knows how to meet her unconscious criteria is an entirely different issue – one that she doesn’t think about.

She just wants to slay.

She wants to “slay” because she’s in some sort of existential competition with other women, AND with an image in her mind.  Indeed, it’s less and less about the other women for most part – and more about this internal feeling.

With this self-centered/ego-centric  “slay mentality in mind” – where we are mere pawns in her game, where she’s striving for this unreachable goal – how do we adapt?

Game.

Game isn’t for the chick that is digging you and your look and feels good around you…. (See how I brought this back to the topic.  I let you understand a bit of the mentality of these chicks, and we use that to work on philosophy, then strategy, and finally tactics)

The short game is 3 basic phases.

Phase 1 – Getting her attention and actively doing something that attracts her to you

Phase 2 – Building trust, comfort, and rapport – because at this point, she’s in to your look, what you have to say, and probably 2 of 10 in terms of ready for “romance”.

Phase 3 – Is when you’re back at your place, and she’s ready to read the Bible.

The real juice is between getting her attention and putting her in a position where she’s seeking your approval and validation.  That’s the whole point of this blog, so i’ll only mention it once in this post.

So the question often is, when I step up to a chick – and before I get a word out, I can tell by her body language, that she wanted me to talk to her – do I have to do all this “stuff”?

Or more succinctly,

If she looks like she’s in to me,do I need to use game? 

And by game, most guys getting into this, think special openers, gimmicks, going direct..yadda yadda yadda.  For us vets, game is not just a way of life, we’ve fully internalized the principles to the point where we don’t think about it.

But to guys starting to wrap their heads around this thing, It’s an honest and open question.

So the answer is – Not really.

Phase 1 – The “Attention and Attraction” phase of Game is PRIMARILY for chicks that are rude to you, mean, or worse yet INDIFFERENT.

Before you can get her to share a hot fudge sundae with you, she’s has to be aware that you’re around – that means getting her attention.  And after you break into her mind space (because sure as shit wasn’t thinking about YOU – neck roll) – now you have to get a somewhat hostile stranger to be less hostile and open to communicating.

But if a girl is feeling you from jump, instead of going heavy with the attention and ice breaking – you make her invest.  I’ve said it before, having game is not playing games.

Let’s set the stage

  • I’m at a happy hour/martini lounge
  • It’s not too loud
  • Alcohol is flowing
  • Girls are sitting with their friends, standing by the bar
  • Chatting amongst themselves
  • Some folks on the phone

So I roll up on a solo chick with a phone in her face, eyes lit up by the LED.

  • I say “Hey” –  which grabs her attention
  • Attempt to open the conversation with a jokey cold read – “You’re doing one of two things, Pokemon Go or Tinder”

The reaction I’m looking for is 1) acknowledgment, 2) then somewhat of a smile, 3) a melting of the ice a bit. 4) her to say something that say she wants to play.

What often happens instead.

  • Glance up at me
  • Look back down at her phone
  • No more acknowledgement
  • Ignores me until I walk away.

Happens all the time to top players.
A chick’s first line of defense is to pretend you aren’t there.
Especially if you don’t have the look of a guy that she wants.

So what do I do?

I say Hey, AGAIN. And then I launch into a story – basically whatever happened to me that day that I thought was interesting, and that she could comment on and take part in.

If you make it a general practice to explain your day in the most humorous and interesting way possible you can turn a trip to the drug store into an adventure.

Why do I do this? Because attention getting and attraction building stuff is for chicks that are indifferent or hostile.  All the stuff you’ve read from 90’s till now isn’t stuff developed for girls that like the way you look and your vibe.  It’s for chicks that wish you were Jessie Williams.

Now how do I know to keep going?  Why don’t I stop?

I know that most of the time, these chicks aren’t going to swing at the first pitch. And I’m okay with her not being into me from minute 1.

I don’t want to use the “P” words – persistence/perseverance, but my actions move in that direction. I believe in myself. And I also know that it takes people a second to warm up.

Having seen guys with better game than me, I’ve noticed that they get their best results by staying in what I thought were “impossible” situations.

  • Super negative/name calling feedback
  • Being completely ignored, being indifferent.

Watching this stuff go down with a vet, my social cues sensor was like – YO, THIS IS GETTING MAD AWKWARD.  Pull up player, you bout to hit a Mountain of No.

Until it turns itself around.

Now these guys were never to the point of it being autistic. A real player has the verbal chops and he’s just lightly hammering at a chick until she gives him feedback (positive or negative).

That covers the indifferent, what about the negative?

If you argue with your girlfriend, there are times that she’s so mad, that it becomes comical. You can switch that anger to laughter. So negative feedback is one of those things that are good.

So let’s recap.

“Game” – i.e. all those openers, attention getters, routines are for the angry and indifferent.  If a chick is feeling you from jump – the game you use there is to get her to invest, which we’ve talked about previously.

When met with indifference – you keep going.

When met with anger – you find it amusing – and then convert it to laughter with the chick.

Hmm, makes me think I need to write more on the mechanics of both.

-Archie