What does she want?

*Note to my long time readers – just found out we got some ladies checking this blog out.  I’m not gonna tone anything down, but I’m not gonna go out of my way to offend either.

Let’s start with the basic ones using the language of Pick Up/Game 201*

Raw Physical Attraction – She finds you attractive on a primal/genetic level.  Chick gets drunk, you look like a stud, she tries to get your attention.

Primal + Social – you’re cool and popular, and a hunk of beef.

Provisioning – You can make sure that she lives a nice life.

So the way that the modern game is set up, you need to hit this trifecta.  Make as much money as possible, look as good as possible – specifically muscles, and then also be a popular guy.

This sounds like common sense – and it is pretty much what society teaches men to do.

So why are you here?

Because it doesn’t work.  I know it.  You are unsure about it.  But it hasn’t worked for you yet.  And in your mind, it’s because you haven’t buckled down and gone 100% monk mode where you are lifting every day and running an e-commerce site at night.

Lemme rephrase, this path is not available to everyone.  The people who can fully take advantage of the “mainstream” strategy are small in number.  You need the right amount of height.  You need to be in the right social position to make serious money easily.   And popularity…haha..

The reason I know this is because, not only have I done it – with middling success, this was the same advice that players got in the 90’s.  PUA is the result of guys going out and trying a lot of this stuff out, and realizing that the vague script for success didn’t really work.

Breaking apart the components – there are rich guys not getting any, guys that are shredded, ripped, cut, and jacked that are forever alone, and guys that are popular/famous that are not able to tap into that resource and use it for their purposes.   Not everyone can be Screech.

So what guys realized was that all those things are “nice to have’s” but not must haves.   It was figured out (again) in the late 90’s.

Black dudes realized this a long time ago.  I’m pretty sure this is a theme I’ve touched on before – but for the most part – Black Americans/Canadians/Brits have a hard time making the same amount of coin as their mainstream counterparts.  But black women still have the same material desires and need for provisioning that other women do.

What’s a Brohemian to do?

Somebody figured out that you can provide a mental/spiritual/emotional experience as a substitute for material goods.


As time went on, the idea of “game” made many realize that a lot of what we do in life was actually about that mental/spiritual/emotional experience – and we’ve been getting that instead of actual resources.

How many of you guys have given your blood, sweat, and tears to a job on the promise that you’ll get paid 2-3 weeks later?   Usually the employer comes through – but they have you convinced that they shouldn’t pay you the day of.   In fact, they haven’t said a word.  It’s just accepted that they can profit from your labor now and pay you 1/10th of the value later.

You’ve been sold.  You’ve been played.  They have you convinced that paying you for a day’s work (like a waitstaff) is impractical.

Impractical for who you might ask?

I digress.  I hope you guys are starting to see how game is really just how people interact with each other on a day to day basis – and we’re merely rethinking our daily interactions with our eye on the ball.

Back to what I was saying.

What is game doing for the girl?  What happens when you get her wrapped up in a conversation about whether Jay really cheated on Beyonce?  Why is she so invested in proving YOU wrong?  Why is she talking to you, and not that random 6’5″ guy at the venue holding the wall, beer to his chest?

She wants that guy, but is “wasting time” with you.  Why?

You intrigue her.

When you intrigue her, your behavior is that of a “good looking guy.”  I use quotes because “Good Looking Guys” don’t actually have set behavior.

There is this vague ideal out there about how a great guy is supposed to make her feel.  She’s not supposed to feel a certain way when she deals with regular guys.  That feeling is reserved for “Good looking Guys”.


So what does she do?  When your behavior matches that of an “attractive man” but you don’t fit her ideal?

She tests you.  It’s not even conscious and deliberate.   It’s unconscious and a reaction.   Can she rattle you? As YaReally has said, when a chick tests you, that’s her subconscious at the beginning levels of attraction.

If a chick that weighs 105 lbs soaking wet can shake the confidence of a man twice her weight and a foot taller, is he really The Man?   And when you go out, you’ll see these so-called Alphas get some success but also fail horribly.  His behavior towards the chick, the interaction he creates, doesn’t jive with how she actually feels.

So that’s why she wants to go home with you to eat Ben and Jerry’s

What to do when you find the one

I have no idea, but what I can tell you what happened to me every time

  • Started out by juggling a few chicks
  • This girl stood out from the rest
  • Looks and personality, habits
  • Let’s try monogamy
  • Let’s move in
  • Let’s meet each other’s family
  • Let’s get comfortable

If you’re old like me, this is familiar territory.

So why am I still writing a game blog?
This should be a Dad’s guide to coaching soccer or something suburban.

Did I get soft?
1st time, yes
2nd and 3rd? No, hell no.

What does this even mean?  The life cycle of the relationship is lust, then domestic bliss, and then there is a plateau until the man takes it up a notch.  The relationship requires more and more of your time and effort, and you lose more and more of your flexibility and freedom.  The gain?  You get closer to your partner and build a better bond.  More tangibly, you have someone that you can trust to pick you up at the airport, and you don’t come home to a lonely apartment every day.

To be honest, a lot of you guys are bachelors or you’ve never had a relationship POST LEARNING THE GAME.  So it’s actually a hard sell to be honest.  If you’re out there, talking to new women on a regular basis, getting to go out and try new things – the real choices are New Chick vs Sleep.   To have a chick next to you when you’re watching the Fight or trying to fix a driver issue with your video card is not really that appealing.   By the same token, the chick wants you there for romance and to fix stuff, but she also doesn’t want you underfoot sniffing at her every time the wind blows.

The tension in every relationship

She wants you to change, and you don’t want to change.
You want her to stay the same and she can’t.

The entire relationship is a repeat of the first pull in many ways. You get her by subverting her expectations. You can of course do this actively and consciously. But that gets old. You’re doing new tricks for the same old chick. She’s not increasing her value to you in *obvious* ways. You can get to the point of internalization of the game – where teasing and pleasing become 2nd nature, that takes the conscious effort on your part away. And internalization is a hop, skip, and a jump away from true character change. As the guys like to say, my external game is an expression of my internal game.

But what to do?

For me the game has essentially been giving people what they want in exchange for what I want.  But there comes a time when you no longer want what they have to offer.  So you stop giving them the emotions they need.  Sooner or later, she’s going to be looking for that fix from someone else, or something else.

I’ve been here.  When I didn’t understand dynamics, I was just unaware.  Then the next time around, I would placate.  The next time, and pretty much since then – I just let the chick go. The next dude will be more than happy to chase after her and please her with whatever she wants.

No real advice in this one Sport.

Might come back to it…

Faster, Better, Stronger

This is the link


“Not only are stripes always timeless, but the horizontal, chest-centered placement of this style makes your torso look a little broader and bigger. Even former teen wolf Lautner, who doesn’t need to rely on styling optical illusions, benefits from the move. Flattering is flattering, whether you’ve got a six pack or not.”

There’s not much to say here other than these people are engaged in mental warfare.  First, they try to appeal to people that are self conscious.  Second, they appeal to the worse impulses of men.  Third, why would you want to appear broader and bigger?

But finally – this is game.  Trying to get people to react to something that’s not really tangible.




Dudes who put women on a pedestal have the greatest thirst but the hardest time connecting with them.

But society, culture, media, teaches men to honor and respect women OVER themselves. We’re willing to degrade and debase ourselves for women, when the answer is often in the other direction.

When cats are in the early stages of learning game, they often go from zero to 100 on expressing their misogyny. Misogyny is built into our culture, but if you’ve been getting ignored by broads for the first few decades, even after you’ve done everything that you’ve been told to do – you’re going to be furious. Couple that with raging hormones…

And that is the essence of the red pill, what you’ve been taught about women by both your good mother and Hollywood and confirmation bias is WRONG.

What about Black, Asian, Indian, and Latino dudes?

In our society nothing is prized more than a young preferably blonde white girl.

The upper class prefers a svelte version, the lower class big tits, fake or not. But both prefer white.  It’s everywhere.

To sell products, to sell ideas, we are saturated with those images.

Farrakhan once said something like if you continually show a black man a Lexus, you don’t think that eventually he’s going to want it, and that he’s going to do whatever it takes to get it?

It’s the same thing with white women. And most men of color get caught up in that. Some more than others, but mostly products of their environment.

If you’re lucky enough to grow up in a middle class neighborhood, chances are high that you have been soaked in whiteness. Sexual adolescence hits, and most of the cheerleaders and cute girls by exposure are white. If that’s all you’ve been around, all you’ve been told is good, but never given the tools and understanding of women, of yourself – of course you’re heavily into white girls or the closest thing to it.

Why do black women straighten their hair?
They are not stupid, they see what you like, what you respond to. We not only see it in potential partners, but in our female family members.

But for a lot of us, why would I get the bootleg version of a white girl instead of the real thing?

Look at suburban bred Kanye.

As his fame grew, his chicks went from normal to exotic. He transformed Amber Rose from bisexual stripper to as close to white as you can get with a Cape Verdean. Kim went from vaguely ethnic to a Vogue Model

Keep in mind His mother was woke af. She went under the knife for bigger tits, arguably something that would make her feel better about herself, but also bringer her closer to a white ideal. She died for vanity.

And plenty of brothers that have gone vanilla or anything non chocolate, have realized that it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. Oddly the same conclusion that many a white guy has come to, and the white guy has unfettered access to white chicks.

I did all this bull shit for this?
This is my prize?

Try to switch back to black, and often the mountain is harder to climb. But getting your Kitoy Jackson, you realize that this ain’t the promised land either – and a man comes back to the idea that women as a whole have been oversold. White girls are whatever, Black ones are maddening in their own way. Non binary options lean white (i.e Latina, Asian, Middle Eastern, Indian) when you least expect but get ethnic in ways you can’t understand.

No options after that, once the trick is explained, the magic is gone.

Then you realize it’s never been about you.  No one really cares for your wants, desires, and needs.  From a high enough viewpoint – the supposed feminine conspiracy seems dumb as well.   She’s trying to get the best out of her life too, and frequently falls short.  She falls madly in love with a guy that doesn’t love her, and settles for the “good life” with a guy that she doesn’t love.



What is good for society, what makes you feel good right now, is usually not the best thing for you and your mind in the long term.

This isn’t to warn you off of white chicks or chicks in general.  But it’s important to keep a healthy understanding of things that are bigger than you.


High IQ



IQ, at least the way common people think about it is your ability to recognize patterns, and then extrapolate from those patterns.

So the scenario is very simple

You’re at the gym.  You notice that the girl at the front desk is cute.  Maybe she says “Have a good work out” a little TOO earnestly.

So now your nose is open.

What do most people tell you to do?

They tell you to ask for her # or ask her out on the spot.

And most guys do just that, come hell or high water.

Next time they go in or out of the gym, they just ask the girl out, or ask for her #.

Do I really need to explain why this is a bad idea?

  • How do you smell?
  • What do you look like
  • What’s your competition?
  • Who’s watching you and her?
  • What will her manager think?
  • If she says no, can you deal?
  • If she says yes, you hit and it quit, can you ghost?

This is where having an academic mind, book learning, High IQ, and nerd’s point of view is actually helpful.  Not so much that you can come up with every possible contingency and have your Love Kryptonite Arrow ready to go. It’s because you have thought of the angles

  • I look good
  • I smell good
  • I’ve been working out
  • I’m going to bust a move so other guys, customers, and management can’t get in OUR business.

So you go into a situation with knowledge.  I have assessed the social dynamics of this.  How can I maximize my upside, and minimize my downside?

What a high IQ guy looks like in the game?

It’s not this cartoonish – where you’re wearing a fedora and suspenders, and the cool you is in a sportscoat with a nice pocket square.   Steve Urkel (if you recall) would hit on Laura (why i’ll never know) and basically show off his intelligence in the most nerdish of ways.   Stephan Urquelle was smart, but not trying to impress her with intelligence – but trying to reach the chick where she lived (emotionally).  The way this played out in the show, as that Stefan was so “narcissistic” that he drove Laura away. (yeah right)

But in Stefan’s case – IQ was in the service of his game, not his game.