Worst Thing You Can Do To Your Game?

The usual suspects

  • Is it porn? No
  • Visiting Prostitutes? No
  • Get into a relationship? No.
  • Get dumped? No.
  • Get Married? No.
  • Have Kids? No.
  • Get divorced? No.
  • Drugs and Alcohol? No
  • Moving to a military base or an Oil Field? No, but that’s up there.
  • Leaning on your money and lavish lifestyle to attract girls? Getting close, but no.

The absolute worst thing you can do to your game is

WORK TOO DAMN MUCH.

I usually am between 40-50 hours, but I’ve chosen to bump back up to 60-70 hours per week.

I remember the first time I traded my free time for additional dollars.  It didn’t go well.  In theory I could run through some of the staffers in nearby buildings, but after being on my feet 6 days a week and yapping at contractors – I have no energy to talk to chicks.

So that’s what happened to the blog for the past 2 weeks.

Aside from that, I’ve been writing the book in the morning, more like rewriting, and rethinking.  But the progress is steady.  No George RR Martin over here.

Back to the work thing

When you don’t have energy

When the work takes time out of your day

Your ready game is diminished.

It’s getting colder here in the Northern Hemisphere so Fall/Winter is a good time to step up your work out game as well as your stack money efforts – but there is definitely a cost.

-Archie

 

Social Media Closes and Passive Game

Work is about to ramp back up, so I’m going to try a different style of posting.

These are my notes form them RSD boys on social media.

So you don’t have to watch the whole thing. (Arch did that, so hopefully you don’t have to do that)

Key Insights

Why Social Media Game?

These guys don’t answer the exact question – but let’s just go through this a bit before we get to the nitty gritty.

The game that I push – is using applied psychology in one-on-one or group interactions OFFLINE.  In short, I talk my way into good situations.  To learn this stuff, you need a decent model of how people think and behave in most situations.  You also need reference experiences.

A non-game example would be selling Girl Scout Cookies outside of a Marijuana Dispensary.   I know that people that like to smoke weed, also get the munchies.  So if I go to where people are buying weed, I can make some sales versus just offering cookies on the side of some random road.

I see street hustlers carry umbrellas in their inventory on a daily basis.  They cost 5 dollars when it’s sunny, and 10 dollar when it’s raining.

This is understanding human psychology.  There is a reason that the baker keeps his doors open, even though changing the humidity in his shop can change how the bread rises.  That smell of fresh baked bread brings in people who want to suddenly now want a croissant.

In all 3 of these advantages, the people are using what they know about people and their particular habits, and giving other people OPTIONS to act on those habits.  They apply psychology to do so.  This is the basis of all business, all politics, and arguably most other spheres in life.

So right now, the advanced countries are marching towards being digital citizens.  Everything that’s important to them, is now online.  In a sense, it’s not really “real”, but in another sense – it’s very real.  Business people are making BILLIONS of dollars in real cash money because they can attract eyeballs and likes.

Now just cause you catch a like, or grab an email, doesn’t mean much in and of itself – but just like the Girl Scout outside of the Dispensary – we want to put ourselves in places where girls are and grab their attention.

The girl scout can obviously put her little table anywhere, and anyone who passes by can purchase a box of cookies.  But, if she puts herself in a place with likely buyers – she can sell more cookies.

That’s why modern day players are going online.  Instead of being outside of a weed shop, their pictures are on the phones of thousands of girls – because that’s where the attention of girls ARE.

The point of Social Media Game is putting ourselves where the girls are.

So how do these guys break it down?

Closing is simple

How hard is to get her to follow you and to follow her? Easy.

The phone # has connotations.  Luke and Max argue that even though you’re gonna hit her with text based messages, for whatever reason it’s better when it comes through an app rather than through SMS.

After you get the contact, then what?

Outsourcing and Automation of Messaging Girls

To promote a party, Luke (the big dude) outsourced his messaging to Indian virtual assistants.  The strategy was to start with a core group of girls, and then expand to a non-core group by having their VA’s send messages.

To bring girls into his actual life for the purpose of promoting his business – Max used his personal assistant.  The assistant would target girls by location and send messages to those girls for social media mentoring, parties, and appearances.   So an “opener” is sent, and when the girl responds with questions – they send answers.   Initially, he had to do this himself, but after a while – most of these girls would ask the same questions and require the same answers to get them out.  They then created a spreadsheet so that his VA could handle the whole process. (This is exactly what Tim Ferriss did in the Four Hour Work Week).

What to Do with these Chicks

Max doesn’t claim to bang these particular chicks based off of this, that would be too Harvey Weinstein.  But he’s now creating social proof and sexual-preselection with this initial investment.  It’s very much like Dan Bilzerian.  Maybe he paid those first set of chicks to hang out with him (not cash money, but access to his lifestyle) – and once publicized – other girls want to get in on the fun.

Max would then invite these chicks to a weekly party.  For you guys with a fat crib – this is a good way to advertise either a lifestyle game or a provider game.

 

Hidden Advantage of Systematic Outreach – Ego Protection

It’s no secret that online dating is tough for a man, and tougher for a man of color, especially if he wants to cross boundaries.  For the most part, women find 80% of the men to be below average.  And many women can be a racist as they want to be when it’s just swiping left and right.  (Not saying that they can’t be, it’s not like their yelling Japanese Supremacy when they ignore your DM’s.  But there’s a socially conditioned anti-response to curiousity, often built into the apps)

So it can be quite demoralizing to put your nice dating profile up, and get no hits and no messages.  If you’re sending messages yourself, 2 out of 100 responses can just kill you.

By outsourcing selection and messaging to a VA – where Max he only says yes or no, after the date is scheduled – he no longer deals with the hundreds of no’s and radio silence. How much more positive is he about women? About himself?

A lot of game lit is about, dealing with rejection, pushing through it.  A lot of students are always looking for “baby steps” to preserve their ego.  This is one of the rare times I say that guys need to compromise.  Avoid the online rejection when you can, and deal with the OFFLINE rejection.

 

The Dreaded Numbers Game 

I know that off line game is about skill, not randomly talking to large #’s of women with the hope that one of them chicks understands you.  Game isn’t a lock, but almost every institution in society is able to grab a big chunk of folks by understanding how they think.

So per Luke –  social media is a #’s game.  My interpretation is that with social media – the player has limited tools.  He has his image and his words to just send out – but he can’t tailor that on the fly to specific girls like he can live and in person.

With that in mind, Luke advises that you should not waste the time with custom messages

Max agrees with Luke and applies an internet business idea known as split testing, or A/B testing.   Create two messages about the same thing, and send to 50 girls.  If there’s a clear winner between A and B, use A.  And you can keep repeating this by changing the message, until you find a great one.

This has been explored in various books that hack OkCupid.  A man’s images are split tested on “Hot or Not”, and his profile is generated by creating multiple profiles and sending bots to hot girls.

The Goal of Social Media Contacts in a Game Context

Max says his goal with social media game is not to get her convinced to sleep with him via direct messages and text, but only to hang out.

It begs the question, can this be done? I submit that it can, because I’ve done it, but it’s a slow boil.

However, if you can build a wee bit of attraction and a whole lot of trust – getting a girl to agree (and actually come out) is way easier.  For us veterans, this is actually preferable than pulling a Netflix and Chill off Tinder – because some of these chicks might be cute, but not actually good people.

How do you build trust through social media?

It’s been said that the game is won through comfort.  Lemme explain that a bit.

So you’re out at the club, getting your little dance on.  A young Beyonce is feeling your vibe, and the rest of Destiny’s Children ain’t hating for once.  She’s got her arms around your neck, looking up into your eyes, and the vibe is right for you to make that physical connection.

At this moment, her attraction to the player is at least a 6 on the 10 scale.  And if you go out enough, getting that dancefloor make out is much easier than you initially thought.  You start to realize that girls do find you attractive, and her being hostile and indifferent can change to her being warm and amorous within 15-30 minutes.

What would it take to go from smooching on the dancefloor, to smooching at your place while watching Love Jones?

 

Trust. She has to trust you. She has to trust that you won’t hurt her, won’t embarrass her, that you won’t her friends.

Offline, how do we establish that?

We befriend her friends.  We introduce her to people we know.  We interact with 3rd parties.  When we touch, we don’t linger, we don’t try to “possess her”.  We let go before it becomes uncomfortable.  At the slightest sense of her being uncomfortable with contact, we stop.

So the message we send is that this very attractive guy can read her body language and reactions – so she doesn’t need to tell him to stop.

“He just knows, he gets it”

Offline – she sees how you behave towards her and towards others.  This doesn’t mean your “safe” like some suburban guy in middle management – but you’re not crazy and unpredictable like the homeless guy that lurches toward her aggressively begging. (unsafe)

She gets to see who you are, a thin slice. You spent 5-10 minutes heating her up enough to be kissed, but 90 minutes creating enough trust that she’s comfortable leaving the bar with you to go to your place to bake a cake. (shout out to Mufasa!)

With social media – through pictures you can convey the same and more.

Social media can build a bit of attraction (via her wanting to have the fun you’re having in the photos, not necessarily to you being stud muffin) and a whole lot of trust.

In terms of other guys – the player who is actively cultivating his social media is also doing far more than other guys.

RSD Max basically says that social media creates attraction and it demonstrates  high value. (We can talk about DHV, but this is a bastardization of the concept to some extent)

And instead of reading other people’s status, you’re creating content.

Content Creation

What does Max do?

  • He goes to gym? Documents
  • Good meal? Documents
  • Beautiful place with a nice view? Documents
  • On a Date, out with Friends?  Documents

Max’s goal is to show that he’s outgoing and has fun.   So he might just do a snapchat of him in traffic singing to one of his favorite songs.  That’s his angle.

He posts as much as possible, but at the same time he wants every post to be novel.   He also uses clickbait text to get people to click on his posts.  He noticed that with a lot of people doing this on Snapchat/Instagram Stories – it’s talking heads and folks get bored.  So he aims to engage.  Straight out of Nir Eyal’s Hooked.

In the past, Luke has actually said that he generates Fear Of Missing Out by doing cool things.  So he actively looks for opportunities, rather than passively documenting his life.

Guys Crying about Authenticity and Skepticism

 

Both of them address the naysayers who say it’s all about authenticity and organic connection.

Q – Archie, what if every guy starts doing this? Won’t the “trick” stop working?

A. The skeptic extrapolates over the whole male population – but most guys aren’t taking action AND there’s not a scarce resource of women at all.

We’re 10 years into the “Dating Apocalypse” (smartphones in 2007 + social media + dating sites + all of the other social ills).

Time is now.

This will be an ongoing discussion

-Archie

 

You Should Learn Direct Game First

This entire blog is about indirect game (pua/mm) and drawing in traditional game concepts (as in black man’s game, mack game, hustler game, pimp game) as well as how applied psychology works in other areas of life (leadership, sales, and advertising).

If you’re a guy that’s new to the game, and has never really explored or been attracted to direct game – the reason for indirect/applied psychology game is not very clear.

I mean indirect game makes sense in an intellectual way, but that fire to really work on your indirect game comes from giving direct game a try.

A lot of cerebral, smart, introverted guys are attracted to the things I talk about – because – it seems like they can basically learn some spells, hit the club, say the magic words, and in 2 hours they’re giving the chicks the Prince Yashua. (don’t google that name at work, Ladies. Because the fellas know who I’m talking about)

Indirect game has this false promise of not putting your ego at risk, and basically deploying your analytical skills in the art of meeting women.

Indirect game gives you an excuse not to be social – to stay the same person.

So within this paradigm – the new player stays basically the same, a guy who is not really that social.

Which is why DIRECT game is the medicine that he needs.

The new player needs to put himself out there, be aggressive, close as much as possible, put his ego at risk, put his precious self image out there for all to dissect…

What direct did for me was a few things

It unleashed the lion

To a large extent the “game” I thought I was running was placebo. I was getting success – not because I was really orchestrating subtle moves – but mostly because I was seriously interacting.  I went from the classic INTJ introvert to a guy that could be extroverted.

Introversion doesn’t mean shy – it means that you find social interactions draining.  Extroverts on the other hand are “anti-fragile”. The chaos of socializing makes them better.  And although most people rate themselves as extroverts – if you’re at a party – you can point out who the life of a party is.  Handful of people among dozens.

And once you take the chains off, once you put your toes in the water, what happens is that the existential fear disappears.

You get to breathe.  Often times, a quick little make over, 1 or 2 opening lines, and a guy is well on his way.  He can get the dates, he can talk to the cute girls, he might even get a shot at one of the chicks he dreams about.

It’s really only until you’ve seen what direct game has to offer, that you understand the value of indirect game.

Direct game is showing up, letting the world know that you’re ready, and getting to the point with the girls you meet.  There is little doubt in her mind what you are about.

Now the way Direct Game Guys present this – if you are basically honest with the chick on wanting to have a sped up sexual encounter – she’s relieved and sometimes finds your honest approach refreshing.

As a veteran, I can tell you that shaking what your Daddy gave you at a chick RARELY nets you the result that you want.  Most chicks do not respond to that unless it’s dark, she’s drunk, and you’re hot.

Whether you want to or not – Direct Game leads you to value DISCRETION.

Direct game actually teaches you more about how humans actually behave when presented with opportunities and scenarios than indirect does.  The guy that has done direct game, will intuitively understand why after he engages with the chick, he doesn’t just ask her to come home with him.

The woman has both a public face and private needs.  She has also publicized things that she wants in a man, and unpublicized ones as well.

So what direct game does for a young player is simple.  It’s a quick way to level up in terms of socializing and seeing social cues. Just like a girl will test your boundaries by taking a hat off your head – the man that swings to extroversion and tries to bring the side he shows his close family and friends to complete strangers – he levels up.  He is working with a lot more data.   He learns quickly how to bring value into an interaction.

He may also learn that expressing his interest before the chick shows her hand is not a tight strategy in comparison to waiting for her to buy in – which is the essence of indirect game.  I really think conditional game is a better way to describe what is happening….I digress

-Archie