Before you can really pull a lot – you need to have your base organized.
The Base Line
- Are you healthy?
- Are you physically fit? If you aren’t fit yet, are you working on it?
- What’s your hygiene game looking like?
- When’s the last time you went to the dentist?
- What do your nails look like?
- Without cologne, do you smell like a good body soap and deodorant?
- What’s your style like? If you’re strictly into white tees and Air Jordans – are they clean?
- What part of town do you live in?
- How is your home set up? Does it look like you are still in a college mindset?
- What does your spot smell like?
- If you need a car where you live, is it a nice car? Is it a cool car? Is it clean?
- What do you with your time during business hours? Are you employed? Are you self employed?
Now, if your psychological approach to pulling women is TIGHT – the less and less of this stuff you need. Think Lester Diamond.
Casino is one of the best movies about “game” that isn’t about game. I’ve talked about Lester before – but you had the super alpha Joe Pesci character, and the traditional boss/money man Robert Deniro character. Pesci and Deniro could have the body – but Lester had the mind.
I’m getting off topic here.
What is the basic skill set for the pick up artist, the player, the man with game (all 3 different people in my mind)
- Given where you are – do you know where to find girls? Wherever you are in your self-development journey (lol) – you’re much more potent when a girl is face to face with you. Things that are hilarious in person, aren’t funny via text.
- His own logistics – If things go right (and they will) – do you have a smooth exit planned? The player knows where his car is. He has Uber on speed dial. He has some libations and entertainment at his home. (I personally keep a big fat Bible on my night stand). So before he says one word to the girl, as soon as the signs look good, he can get out her out of that sinful environment of the bar or club and into a more wholesome environment, seamlessly.
- Approach Anxiety – A new player has to push himself to talk. Approach Anxiety never goes away – it just stops being the thing that stops you. There are lots of ways to overcome AA – but it’s the real first hurdle in a player’s game
- Opener – The better you get, the more you realize the opener is just an excuse for a man to open his mouth. A veteran can open with anything. A compliment, an insult, an observation, something about the environment. It’s rare (like lottery ticket rare) that the content of your first words are going to make a girl fall in love that night. But having something to say – even if it’s canned or commonly said – the only point of the opener is to start the conversation. “Hey” is a good one.
- Keep it Light – That being said – a new player wants to start the conversation off right – and not go to heavy/serious topics that will pull the interaction down.
- Volume – You will learn to be loud. You will speak slower. You will enunciate. And you will not end on an upward tone like you were asking a question (even if you are asking a question)
- Eye Contact – This can go either way, but when you’re learning – direct eye contact is the way to go. The better you get, the more you realize that eye contact is a powerful weapon to be deployed
- Body Language – Is supposed to be like you’ve done this a million times, even if you never have. So that means relaxed, like you were talking to one of your boys.
- Keeping a straight face – After those first few words a woman can be warm, she can be cold, she can be hurtful, or she can be indifferent. She can pretend not to have heard you – etc. This is where guys kick themselves out of a pull. They expect a certain reaction – don’t get it – and then they get flustered and eject. The key here is after you deliver the opener – you maintain eye contact and let her fill the silence. Give it some time – and then it’s the next step
- The Follow Up – Whatever you start with – whatever he reaction – the 90/10 rule is in effect. You’re going to have to maintain most of the conversation at the very beginning until – she opens up and wants to chat. So whatever you open with – you have to have an idea of where it goes/what the possible responses are – and where you can go after. So if you open with “Hey, I wanted to meet you.” You’re going to get a handful of typical reactions to that direct type of opener. Positive, Negative, or indifferent. If she opens positive – the player has a plan. If she opens negative – the player
- Ice is Broken – Now What – So you’ve gotten her chatting – what next?
- Regular guys vibe – they keep the conversation going – to basically nowhere.
- Guys that are “good with women” use this opportunity to flirt. So if you’re having a nice chat about the weather – you say the cold weather is obviously doing something to her. Her mind will go one way, to the most obvious thing. And before that thing in her mind can go to her lips – you say that her nose is getting red because it’s cold.
- What do players do – THEY GET HER SITUATION
- Getting Her Logistics – You want to figure out why she’s at the venue, who she’s with (pretty girls rarely go out alone), what she has planned for the night, what she has planned for the morning.
- So what are you doing out on a school night
- Who’d you come with? Lemme meet your friends
- You drinking, or are you the designated driver?
- I stay close to here, what side of town are you on?
- Flirting and Verbal Escalation– There are plenty of books on this, mostly written by women for women – but the essence of flirting is that you go from some neutral conversation to talking about the person. Complimenting on the one hand, teasing on the other. This is the stuff of Rom Com’s – and you should be watching those to understand *how* women think romance starts. It’s not how it actually starts – but if you adhere to the script in her mind, that’s been put there by Hollywood and all of her friends – you can use that to your advantage. This is where whatever nascent attraction that you established by being able to get into a conversation with the girl – starts to become “amorous” in nature.
- Handling her problems – This is what separates the rookies from the old hands. If you’re really really attractive and the girl is really really independent – she’ll do all of the work for you. A lot of you guys are dealing with the under 25 set – so you’ve got more things to work out. Once they get to a certain point – there is a lot more cooperation.
- Meet the friends
- Figure out where she lives
- Figuring out how you can get her into a cab and out to a diner.
- Pull – A player has broken the ice, he’s flirted and got her curious, figured out what her issues were, solves those issues, and from the very beginning had his location and exit planned out – it’s time to leave. A simple “You ready to go?” is usually all it takes. I’m not going to get deep into “trust” for this post – but the game is truly played in “comfort” – now that she’s attracted – is she comfortable being with you?
You get her out of the venue and into a cab/uber/your car/your place that is a block away – that’s pretty much it. You jump in the ride, get to your spot, shoes off, and crank up the Gospel cause it’s time to pray.
This would be a textbook pull with the typical text book problems.
What about Laser Eyes, Cutting Space/Invading her space, Seeding the Bounce, Time Bridge, Time Dilation, Trust Building, cold feet, dealing with the mother hen in her group, Swedish Massage stuff – Those are all areas to be ironed out and optimized based on your style of game.
A very efficient guy will sniper a particular girl, use heavy eye contact, close the physical gap, invade her physical space to the extent that she feels his strength, smells his cologne and touches his skin – almost immediately. He’ll propose an after party before they’ve even discussed what she’s doing that night.
A guy that’s more choosy will follow the basic guideline but spend more time trying to figure out if the girl is worthy of him. Not qualifying her as some gambit – but really asking himself if this girl is worth sharing himself with.
This is the skill set