First of all, big shout to Moma and RudeBwoy who said I should start my own site
I’ve been on their podcasts numerous times, definitely support them.
On the YouTube Tip
Mr. Locario – Direct Game/Day Time
Alpha Male Strategies – Traditional BMG
Justin Wayne- PUA
Player Supreme (RIP) – Pimp Lite, Mack Tight
Tariq Nasheed – Pimp Lite, Mack Tight
AbuAmerican Little – Red Pill/Macro Game Issues
RSD Madison – State of the Art Pick Up
^^This particular pull is INSANE. Now I’m not gonna get into a pissing match about whether or not infield footage is real, or it is a real just 1 out of a 100, but this particular one is not so much about technique per se – but mindset.
Distant Light – Big Picture Game/Lifestyle Game/Beyond Game
[Ed. Little bit of Tech while we go through Black History Month. Shout to my man Mace for the topic]
So you’re spitting some game to a chica. You think everything is going copacetic, and then she says
“I just got out of a relationship”
What does this mean?
Straight up – it means she’s not trying to entertain any of your bullshit, but she wants to be nice about it.
Is there a solution?
For my guys totally into direct game – if you’re getting this a more than 30% of the time
Better externals (fitness, grooming, style, social proof, pre-selection) – Basically look better, conform to society’s idea of what a man look’s like.
Better internal view/confidence – which stems from previous experience – and has the practical effect of silencing a man’s body language and “tells”
Better opener/immediate vibe – the least amount of psychology that you can telegraph in your opener/step up. So instead of coming in meek, come in high. If you’re always coming in high energy, come in serious. If you’re always serious, come into the set like you don’t give a fuck one way or the other.
As I’ve said before, direct game is 90-100% about screening the girl out if she doesn’t feel the guy from the very beginning. It is very efficient. And when you work on your appearance, build up that data bank of successes as well as failures that don’t make you feel like a failure, and the right “energy” – chicks are just more receptive to you.
The technical part of direct game has never been hard.
Finding enough targets and optimizing the look are not difficult but not easy.
The hard part of direct game is the toil it takes on a man’s ego after he spends a few minutes with a chick (with his hopes up) and he gets denied. That’s when the negative spiral kicks in.
Overall, Direct Game is basically giving her the best “thin slice” of what it would be like to be with you.
It’s a thin slice though, and a false slice at that.
Indirect game is literally giving her the experience of what it is like to be with you, and you draw her deeper into your web with your words and behavior that hits her switches. It’s not really about how she feels about you, but about how you make her feel. I call this the Stroganoff. Beef Stroganoff is not a very pretty looking dish. But a spoonful or two and a smile will appear.
So if a player is into indirect game – where the negative or indifferent get so wrapped up in the interaction that they become attracted in a psychological sense – based on the novelty of the chat, and the intermittent nature of the emotional reward…
Then when she says she just got out of a relationship, now is a perfect chance to practice indirect game.
A chick saying this basically establishes the fact that whatever “value” you had in a direct context is not very “inspiring to her”. And she would please like you to leave her alone.
This particular wording – and we know how women love words – actually leaves open lots of questions, rather than closes them.
When a chick says this, I hear a social script.
I say, “Please”. You say, “Thank you.”
I say, “Como estas?”, You say, “Bien, Y Tu?”
Girl doesn’t feel the guy, she grabs a sub-routine to get her out of the situation, and “lets him down easy”. She doesn’t want to give a hard no, because for all she knows, he’ll go Caveman on her. The more social scripts/stock responses/routine behavior that a man notices, the more he has to work with.
These are what I consider easy set ups.
– How old are you
– Where are your friends
– Where do you live
– What do you do for a living
– I’m too old for you
– You’re too old for me
Guys with little experience with women see these as either tests or strong indicators of interest. Positive or negative. I suggest a player uses his brain, and figures out what each of these mean in the context that he’s in.
Overall, a man will not be served by having little one line quips. Like he was repeating some bullshit he read on a blog.
A quick line makes you sound like a “playa playa”.
Chick says, “I got a man/boyfriend”
Would-Be-Player says, “We can just be friends”
A chick should never think a player is “smooth”. If she thinks he’s smooth – she’s stepping outside of herself and analyzing. She should being fully “present” in the moment reacting to what he says and does.
As to any of these common “tests” or “issues” – What you want is understanding of what she probably means/what she’s probably trying to do, and use reasonable alternatives to get her twisted up!
Let’s recap, the “just got out of a relationship” is definitely a brush off.
How I do it?
She says her little piece
“I just got out of a relationship”
The sub-communication is “I’m not interested in you”
Her reasoning might be
You’re not my type, I only bang in relationships (which is generally a yeah right, and might be true for individuals who’ve had bad experiences in the past – but that’s not “natural” at all)
You are my type, but I fall in love with every guy that I bang
So those are my 3 thoughts at the start
– She says the thing
– I have a possible reason of hers in my mind
– She’s trying to get rid of me, the least socially expensive way possible
So what I do is these 4 steps
– Hear what she said (maybe take note of her body language)
– Give her a look, a quizzical look, a confused look, a confuddled look
– I wait
Now whenever a chick “delivers the bad news”, 60% of her is sure that you’ll “get the message”. 40% of her is bracing for negativity – and best believe she has a lot more to say if you pursue that negative route. (%’s are made up, just go with the concept Poindexter)
She is expecting both a verbal response that either accepts or disputes the logical meaning of what she says and a non-verbal response that comports with that understanding.
He’s gonna just take his L and walk away w/o causing a scene
He’s gonna be mad, and his getting mad at her rejection is just what she needs to unload on him. (Because, that Oscar Wilde quote actually fits in this situation)
When he gives her that look, and say nothing – he pulls the rug out from underneath her.
And she does not know what to do.
If he says ANYTHING, she’s gonna latch onto that, twist it, and come back to iterate her point. So he says NOTHING.
What he want is for her to explain herself.
The reasons don’t matter, but she’s now reacting to you. She’s now on the defensive.
And he’s now changed the tenor of the conversation – showed the most little bit of actual value – a man can literally convert – he’s gotten past her first little defense – indifference.
The overall idea of indirect game is interact with the girl and get her psychologically hooked on the interaction. There are flashes of “strong emotion” that he gives her intermittently, and basically the amygdala keeps looking for another hit. Not just good emotions, STRONG emotions. Roller Coaster..
So I have no problem talking to a chick, after I give her the look, she then fills in the void of silence with her “reasons”. And then I continue to just not take her seriously with my look and the smirk that comes across her face.
Whatever I say at this point, after she’s said her peace, is not about addressing her “logical” concern, but about addressing her emotional concerns.
“You really think you’re going to get that attached to me?”
“Oh, you feel it too?”
“Hmm, what do you think is gonna happen?”
^Any of these 3 would work for me.
Whatever “wrong thing” I assume – she’s already reacting to me, already trying to defend herself, make her self clear, and she’s already falling into trap.
Because she has to be right, she has to prove herself, and in doing so, she’s laughing at my jokes, and herself, and having a good time.
From there it’s a move to a different subject, moving her to a different part of the venue, meeting her friends, introducing her to people, and let’s continue this discussion at the diner (which is incidentally 5 minutes from my place, where I can read you some of those Bible passages I mentioned)
Let’s not get it twisted, Archie is a SQUARE, as in 7 to the 2nd power. I’ve met a handful of pimps in my life, read a lot on em, chatted deeply with 2 – I’m not in their game at all. I’m just setting up a situation with a nice young lady for mutual benefit. And I do that by drawing principles from what they do as practical psychologists, and other psychological principles at play in every day life.
And guess what, most black guys are squares too. Not that we’re all Steve Urkel.
Square in the sense that they’re not trying to put chicks on “the track” to go make money by spreading her legs.
Within that world of pimps – there are only 3 options. A Trick, A Ho, and A Pimp. If a man ain’t pimping, he’s one of the other two.
Before you get carried away, like I’ve seen so many times (for instance Freaks vs Sluts vs Good Girls when pimps use those words)
This idea of Trick/Ho/Pimp is just like that “money vs game” debate – if a man takes a lot of these ideas and lets them rule his brain, he can’t think of much more. It’s a logic trap. The male version of the hamster wheel.
It’s like talking to a person who just read Wealth of Nations or The Fountainhead. Super capitalists! Read Marx and nothing else – Communism is everywhere.
Let’s get back to the game of squares though.
So Regular BMG is direct approaching, and the first step up is looking better while doing it. I’ve basically established that.
Why does it seem like brothers are better at direct approaching than any other group?
Roasting! Playing the Dozens! Talking Shit! Snapping on folks!
As a West Indian, as a brother who’s been around lots of West Africans, and fairly in tune with the black American community – being quick of wit and quicker with the tongue is an essential part of the community. It probably goes back to the mother land if you really want to think about it.
I’ve lived in all kinds of neighborhoods – poor, rich, black, white, old, college kids, native born, immigrants – I rarely see other groups engaged in the depth and amount of wordplay within our community.
So how exactly does this help BMG?
The average black guy probably doesn’t have Patrice O’Neal level skills. (or DL Hughley in the Comic View era) But he definitely knows someone personally who does. He’s been hearing it all his life.
So when he steps up to some random broad – no matter what she says to him – he’s basically heard it before, and worse.
Where a lot of guys fail with game in general – is that they are not only afraid to walk up and disturb the girl, they suffer from analysis paralysis in trying to figure out the best response prior to talking to the chick.
Newb Player sees a cutie.
Hmm, I’m gonna go up and say Hey, like WIA says I should.
And she should say “Hey” back.
But what if she says, she’s waiting for her mother to call her about her sick dog, WHAT WILL I SAY?
Some variation of these destructive self-talk goes on BEFORE he even steps to the girl – and our would be player talks himself out of rapping to the chick.
I’m not saying every black dude is ice cold when it comes to rejection – far from it. Everybody deals with approach anxiety.
What I am saying is that the average black dude has faced teasing social situations, and is generally more comfortable than average.
With experiences comes competence. Relying on competence, increases confidence.
I’ve been roasted, and basically no random broad can rip me apart like my people have. It just can’t happen.
So what a lot of members of the community have to supplement very basic direct game is actual inner game that comes from experience. And in general, because of the value of the “gift of gab” in our community – he can draw from that when he runs up on a chick. He might not have it, but he’s not afraid of hers
Part 3 – The Real Strength of BMG – Relationship Management – coming soon
This being black history month, Black Panther in 2 weeks, and reading the Underdevelopment of Africa by Walter Rodney – it’s time to flex a little bit from the other side of the tracks.
So let’s start with some definition
Black Man’s Game needs two definitions.
The Black Man – I specifically mean black men, born in the states, whose recent forefathers are from the South. I’m West Indian, and a lot of the black players I know are from the Caribbean and Africa – but this is specifically about my American brothers who grew up here. Soul Food, Barbershops, Gold Chains, Crown Royal, Newports, Church on Sunday, Caddilacs, know the words to Lift Every Voice and Sing, grew up with a lot of other black people that were not family…maybe live in the city but got country cousins.
I will go RBG on that ass. I don’t really delve too deep into my politics on the thread, but West Indian Archie wasn’t just some random name.
But this is about the biggest slice in of sweet potato pie in the US, the Black American.
The Game – Traditionally, the black man’s game is divided into two parts. The Pull (the pickup) and the Maintain (the relationship). There are other words for this, and true black game scholars might subdivide it even further. For the purpose of this little series – we’re just gonna do the two.
This is what our fathers, grandfathers, mothers, and sometimes our uncles (we’ll get back to uncles in a second) tell us what to do when we see a girl we like.
How are you doing?
What’s your name?
Can I/Lemme get your number
They even made a song about it.
[Ed. Technically this song isn’t about pick up at all, I just love De La Soul]
She’s supposed to like how he looks, gladly agree to give the man her number, and then answer the call later to set up a date.
That is the black man’s pick up.
Reader, I kid you not. I been black all my life. This is the dominant train of thought on how to pick up women.
“Pick Up” would be how I would phrase it, because there’s not a whole lot of psychology to this. (And I’m big on the psychology of things)
In fact, the 1-2 non-black readers that I have might be asking themselves this question
How is this different than what white guys do, what every guy does?
Lance, Chet, Sanjay -> you would be right to ask this question. There really is not much different about this than what the majority culture teaches the mass.
For my true seduction veterans out there, this “game” is just a clumsy direct approach, that could be tweaked into something more serviceable – but then…
I’d say if you were to ask mainstream America what should they say when to a girl that they think is cute
My Name Is
How are you doing?
What’s your name?
Can I/Lemme get your number?
That’s the basic difference. The mainstream guy introduces himself with his name.
We will get to why this is more effective when brother’s do it below. That only begs the question….
How Effective is BMG?
If one looks at all the little kids running around, one would think that it is quite effective in terms of sheer procreation… Let’s keep it real though.
Most women choose from guys they already know, or are familiar with. “Known Quantities”. Black, White, Latin, Asian, etc – girls typically choose from their extensive and extended social circles.
The broads I went to college with are still chasing the same set of Black Greek Fraternity dudes from then. If not those particular dudes, it’s friends of friends.
So I can’t really judge the BMG Cold Approach Protocol (way to nerd it up there Archie) based on what I see.
I’ve used BMG before and as a “skill” goes, it’s basically turning over a rock and seeing if the chick is feeling me.
In the “community” we’ve talked to death about direct approaches. There are a few hacks that the community came up with – but by and large – when a man goes in hard, the cutie has to make up her mind about him right then and there.
BMG is direct approaching, and if a man already fits the overall profile of an attractive guy – he does better.
But of course he should do better, he’s an attractive guy.
The BMG hacks are what you would think they are
Dress Better/Dress more flash/Dress for attention
Pick Girls that look like they might be Receptive
Obvious. When Pick Up Artists decided to grow up and incorporate common sense improvements – whaddya know, they started to get more #’s.
Now, I’m not the biggest on conforming to this commercialized and socially approved of what a Man Should Look Like
*the irony about this movie is so many PUA’s want Brad Pitt’s body…another topic, another time*
That’s basically it – traditional BMG is direct approaching. To get better results, look better.