First of all, big shout to Moma and RudeBwoy who said I should start my own site
I’ve been on their podcasts numerous times, definitely support them.
On the YouTube Tip
Mr. Locario – Direct Game/Day Time
Alpha Male Strategies – Traditional BMG
Justin Wayne- PUA
Player Supreme (RIP) – Pimp Lite, Mack Tight
Tariq Nasheed – Pimp Lite, Mack Tight
AbuAmerican Little – Red Pill/Macro Game Issues
RSD Madison – State of the Art Pick Up
^^This particular pull is INSANE. Now I’m not gonna get into a pissing match about whether or not infield footage is real, or it is a real just 1 out of a 100, but this particular one is not so much about technique per se – but mindset.
Distant Light – Big Picture Game/Lifestyle Game/Beyond Game
[Ed. Little bit of Tech while we go through Black History Month. Shout to my man Mace for the topic]
So you’re spitting some game to a chica. You think everything is going copacetic, and then she says
“I just got out of a relationship”
What does this mean?
Straight up – it means she’s not trying to entertain any of your bullshit, but she wants to be nice about it.
Is there a solution?
For my guys totally into direct game – if you’re getting this a more than 30% of the time
Better externals (fitness, grooming, style, social proof, pre-selection) – Basically look better, conform to society’s idea of what a man look’s like.
Better internal view/confidence – which stems from previous experience – and has the practical effect of silencing a man’s body language and “tells”
Better opener/immediate vibe – the least amount of psychology that you can telegraph in your opener/step up. So instead of coming in meek, come in high. If you’re always coming in high energy, come in serious. If you’re always serious, come into the set like you don’t give a fuck one way or the other.
As I’ve said before, direct game is 90-100% about screening the girl out if she doesn’t feel the guy from the very beginning. It is very efficient. And when you work on your appearance, build up that data bank of successes as well as failures that don’t make you feel like a failure, and the right “energy” – chicks are just more receptive to you.
The technical part of direct game has never been hard.
Finding enough targets and optimizing the look are not difficult but not easy.
The hard part of direct game is the toil it takes on a man’s ego after he spends a few minutes with a chick (with his hopes up) and he gets denied. That’s when the negative spiral kicks in.
Overall, Direct Game is basically giving her the best “thin slice” of what it would be like to be with you.
It’s a thin slice though, and a false slice at that.
Indirect game is literally giving her the experience of what it is like to be with you, and you draw her deeper into your web with your words and behavior that hits her switches. It’s not really about how she feels about you, but about how you make her feel. I call this the Stroganoff. Beef Stroganoff is not a very pretty looking dish. But a spoonful or two and a smile will appear.
So if a player is into indirect game – where the negative or indifferent get so wrapped up in the interaction that they become attracted in a psychological sense – based on the novelty of the chat, and the intermittent nature of the emotional reward…
Then when she says she just got out of a relationship, now is a perfect chance to practice indirect game.
A chick saying this basically establishes the fact that whatever “value” you had in a direct context is not very “inspiring to her”. And she would please like you to leave her alone.
This particular wording – and we know how women love words – actually leaves open lots of questions, rather than closes them.
When a chick says this, I hear a social script.
I say, “Please”. You say, “Thank you.”
I say, “Como estas?”, You say, “Bien, Y Tu?”
Girl doesn’t feel the guy, she grabs a sub-routine to get her out of the situation, and “lets him down easy”. She doesn’t want to give a hard no, because for all she knows, he’ll go Caveman on her. The more social scripts/stock responses/routine behavior that a man notices, the more he has to work with.
These are what I consider easy set ups.
– How old are you
– Where are your friends
– Where do you live
– What do you do for a living
– I’m too old for you
– You’re too old for me
Guys with little experience with women see these as either tests or strong indicators of interest. Positive or negative. I suggest a player uses his brain, and figures out what each of these mean in the context that he’s in.
Overall, a man will not be served by having little one line quips. Like he was repeating some bullshit he read on a blog.
A quick line makes you sound like a “playa playa”.
Chick says, “I got a man/boyfriend”
Would-Be-Player says, “We can just be friends”
A chick should never think a player is “smooth”. If she thinks he’s smooth – she’s stepping outside of herself and analyzing. She should being fully “present” in the moment reacting to what he says and does.
As to any of these common “tests” or “issues” – What you want is understanding of what she probably means/what she’s probably trying to do, and use reasonable alternatives to get her twisted up!
Let’s recap, the “just got out of a relationship” is definitely a brush off.
How I do it?
She says her little piece
“I just got out of a relationship”
The sub-communication is “I’m not interested in you”
Her reasoning might be
You’re not my type, I only bang in relationships (which is generally a yeah right, and might be true for individuals who’ve had bad experiences in the past – but that’s not “natural” at all)
You are my type, but I fall in love with every guy that I bang
So those are my 3 thoughts at the start
– She says the thing
– I have a possible reason of hers in my mind
– She’s trying to get rid of me, the least socially expensive way possible
So what I do is these 4 steps
– Hear what she said (maybe take note of her body language)
– Give her a look, a quizzical look, a confused look, a confuddled look
– I wait
Now whenever a chick “delivers the bad news”, 60% of her is sure that you’ll “get the message”. 40% of her is bracing for negativity – and best believe she has a lot more to say if you pursue that negative route. (%’s are made up, just go with the concept Poindexter)
She is expecting both a verbal response that either accepts or disputes the logical meaning of what she says and a non-verbal response that comports with that understanding.
He’s gonna just take his L and walk away w/o causing a scene
He’s gonna be mad, and his getting mad at her rejection is just what she needs to unload on him. (Because, that Oscar Wilde quote actually fits in this situation)
When he gives her that look, and say nothing – he pulls the rug out from underneath her.
And she does not know what to do.
If he says ANYTHING, she’s gonna latch onto that, twist it, and come back to iterate her point. So he says NOTHING.
What he want is for her to explain herself.
The reasons don’t matter, but she’s now reacting to you. She’s now on the defensive.
And he’s now changed the tenor of the conversation – showed the most little bit of actual value – a man can literally convert – he’s gotten past her first little defense – indifference.
The overall idea of indirect game is interact with the girl and get her psychologically hooked on the interaction. There are flashes of “strong emotion” that he gives her intermittently, and basically the amygdala keeps looking for another hit. Not just good emotions, STRONG emotions. Roller Coaster..
So I have no problem talking to a chick, after I give her the look, she then fills in the void of silence with her “reasons”. And then I continue to just not take her seriously with my look and the smirk that comes across her face.
Whatever I say at this point, after she’s said her peace, is not about addressing her “logical” concern, but about addressing her emotional concerns.
“You really think you’re going to get that attached to me?”
“Oh, you feel it too?”
“Hmm, what do you think is gonna happen?”
^Any of these 3 would work for me.
Whatever “wrong thing” I assume – she’s already reacting to me, already trying to defend herself, make her self clear, and she’s already falling into trap.
Because she has to be right, she has to prove herself, and in doing so, she’s laughing at my jokes, and herself, and having a good time.
From there it’s a move to a different subject, moving her to a different part of the venue, meeting her friends, introducing her to people, and let’s continue this discussion at the diner (which is incidentally 5 minutes from my place, where I can read you some of those Bible passages I mentioned)
Let’s not get it twisted, Archie is a SQUARE, as in 7 to the 2nd power. I’ve met a handful of pimps in my life, read a lot on em, chatted deeply with 2 – I’m not in their game at all. I’m just setting up a situation with a nice young lady for mutual benefit. And I do that by drawing principles from what they do as practical psychologists, and other psychological principles at play in every day life.
And guess what, most black guys are squares too. Not that we’re all Steve Urkel.
Square in the sense that they’re not trying to put chicks on “the track” to go make money by spreading her legs.
Within that world of pimps – there are only 3 options. A Trick, A Ho, and A Pimp. If a man ain’t pimping, he’s one of the other two.
Before you get carried away, like I’ve seen so many times (for instance Freaks vs Sluts vs Good Girls when pimps use those words)
This idea of Trick/Ho/Pimp is just like that “money vs game” debate – if a man takes a lot of these ideas and lets them rule his brain, he can’t think of much more. It’s a logic trap. The male version of the hamster wheel.
It’s like talking to a person who just read Wealth of Nations or The Fountainhead. Super capitalists! Read Marx and nothing else – Communism is everywhere.
Let’s get back to the game of squares though.
So Regular BMG is direct approaching, and the first step up is looking better while doing it. I’ve basically established that.
Why does it seem like brothers are better at direct approaching than any other group?
Roasting! Playing the Dozens! Talking Shit! Snapping on folks!
As a West Indian, as a brother who’s been around lots of West Africans, and fairly in tune with the black American community – being quick of wit and quicker with the tongue is an essential part of the community. It probably goes back to the mother land if you really want to think about it.
I’ve lived in all kinds of neighborhoods – poor, rich, black, white, old, college kids, native born, immigrants – I rarely see other groups engaged in the depth and amount of wordplay within our community.
So how exactly does this help BMG?
The average black guy probably doesn’t have Patrice O’Neal level skills. (or DL Hughley in the Comic View era) But he definitely knows someone personally who does. He’s been hearing it all his life.
So when he steps up to some random broad – no matter what she says to him – he’s basically heard it before, and worse.
Where a lot of guys fail with game in general – is that they are not only afraid to walk up and disturb the girl, they suffer from analysis paralysis in trying to figure out the best response prior to talking to the chick.
Newb Player sees a cutie.
Hmm, I’m gonna go up and say Hey, like WIA says I should.
And she should say “Hey” back.
But what if she says, she’s waiting for her mother to call her about her sick dog, WHAT WILL I SAY?
Some variation of these destructive self-talk goes on BEFORE he even steps to the girl – and our would be player talks himself out of rapping to the chick.
I’m not saying every black dude is ice cold when it comes to rejection – far from it. Everybody deals with approach anxiety.
What I am saying is that the average black dude has faced teasing social situations, and is generally more comfortable than average.
With experiences comes competence. Relying on competence, increases confidence.
I’ve been roasted, and basically no random broad can rip me apart like my people have. It just can’t happen.
So what a lot of members of the community have to supplement very basic direct game is actual inner game that comes from experience. And in general, because of the value of the “gift of gab” in our community – he can draw from that when he runs up on a chick. He might not have it, but he’s not afraid of hers
Part 3 – The Real Strength of BMG – Relationship Management – coming soon
This being black history month, Black Panther in 2 weeks, and reading the Underdevelopment of Africa by Walter Rodney – it’s time to flex a little bit from the other side of the tracks.
So let’s start with some definition
Black Man’s Game needs two definitions.
The Black Man – I specifically mean black men, born in the states, whose recent forefathers are from the South. I’m West Indian, and a lot of the black players I know are from the Caribbean and Africa – but this is specifically about my American brothers who grew up here. Soul Food, Barbershops, Gold Chains, Crown Royal, Newports, Church on Sunday, Caddilacs, know the words to Lift Every Voice and Sing, grew up with a lot of other black people that were not family…maybe live in the city but got country cousins.
I will go RBG on that ass. I don’t really delve too deep into my politics on the thread, but West Indian Archie wasn’t just some random name.
But this is about the biggest slice in of sweet potato pie in the US, the Black American.
The Game – Traditionally, the black man’s game is divided into two parts. The Pull (the pickup) and the Maintain (the relationship). There are other words for this, and true black game scholars might subdivide it even further. For the purpose of this little series – we’re just gonna do the two.
This is what our fathers, grandfathers, mothers, and sometimes our uncles (we’ll get back to uncles in a second) tell us what to do when we see a girl we like.
How are you doing?
What’s your name?
Can I/Lemme get your number
They even made a song about it.
[Ed. Technically this song isn’t about pick up at all, I just love De La Soul]
She’s supposed to like how he looks, gladly agree to give the man her number, and then answer the call later to set up a date.
That is the black man’s pick up.
Reader, I kid you not. I been black all my life. This is the dominant train of thought on how to pick up women.
“Pick Up” would be how I would phrase it, because there’s not a whole lot of psychology to this. (And I’m big on the psychology of things)
In fact, the 1-2 non-black readers that I have might be asking themselves this question
How is this different than what white guys do, what every guy does?
Lance, Chet, Sanjay -> you would be right to ask this question. There really is not much different about this than what the majority culture teaches the mass.
For my true seduction veterans out there, this “game” is just a clumsy direct approach, that could be tweaked into something more serviceable – but then…
I’d say if you were to ask mainstream America what should they say when to a girl that they think is cute
My Name Is
How are you doing?
What’s your name?
Can I/Lemme get your number?
That’s the basic difference. The mainstream guy introduces himself with his name.
We will get to why this is more effective when brother’s do it below. That only begs the question….
How Effective is BMG?
If one looks at all the little kids running around, one would think that it is quite effective in terms of sheer procreation… Let’s keep it real though.
Most women choose from guys they already know, or are familiar with. “Known Quantities”. Black, White, Latin, Asian, etc – girls typically choose from their extensive and extended social circles.
The broads I went to college with are still chasing the same set of Black Greek Fraternity dudes from then. If not those particular dudes, it’s friends of friends.
So I can’t really judge the BMG Cold Approach Protocol (way to nerd it up there Archie) based on what I see.
I’ve used BMG before and as a “skill” goes, it’s basically turning over a rock and seeing if the chick is feeling me.
In the “community” we’ve talked to death about direct approaches. There are a few hacks that the community came up with – but by and large – when a man goes in hard, the cutie has to make up her mind about him right then and there.
BMG is direct approaching, and if a man already fits the overall profile of an attractive guy – he does better.
But of course he should do better, he’s an attractive guy.
The BMG hacks are what you would think they are
Dress Better/Dress more flash/Dress for attention
Pick Girls that look like they might be Receptive
Obvious. When Pick Up Artists decided to grow up and incorporate common sense improvements – whaddya know, they started to get more #’s.
Now, I’m not the biggest on conforming to this commercialized and socially approved of what a Man Should Look Like
*the irony about this movie is so many PUA’s want Brad Pitt’s body…another topic, another time*
That’s basically it – traditional BMG is direct approaching. To get better results, look better.
Most of the commentary about Aziz has been from the mainstream, and it’s what you would expect. #Metoo. #Men_are_entitled_pigs.
From the Right-Wing-O-Sphere, most people are calling Aziz an Indian Race Troll, SoyBoy, or the epitome of Beta Male.
Over here? I got love for my East Indian Brethren.
So the story, which I linked above goes like this
Chick goes to an Emmy Awards after party (with a date)
Aziz is there taking pics with a film camera.
She approaches Aziz because she liked his camera (yeah right)
Aziz brushed her off (like he should have)
But then because he was impressed by her camera knowledge (yeah right)
They flirt, she goes back to her date.
At his suggestion, she puts her # into his phone (yeah right)
He messaged first
Banter over a week
She is excited for the date (celeb and comedian)
She consults with her group about what to wear
She meets at his place
He serves her white wine, but she likes red
They bounce to a restaurant
She does most of the talking on the date (that’s probably right)
He wants to bounce back to his place
They go back to his place (Taylor Swift apparently has a flat there too.)
She says something about his marble tops
Aziz says get on the marble top
He’s kissing her within moments
He’s taking her clothes off and his.
She wants to chill
He goes down on her
She gives him a bj, but the article emphasizes NOT FOR LONG (I wonder why)
They’re practically naked at this point, so he puts his 2 fingers in her mouth, gets them wet, and tries to put his fingers in her vaj
He kept moving her hand to his dick
She uses verbal and non-verbal cues (but mostly nonverbal)
She says he ignored them because he was trying to bang
He would say “Where do you want me to fuck you” (assuming the close)
She’s not having it.
At some point she goes to the bathroom, comes back out
Says something, he seems to cool down. Let’s chill.
Then he wants a beej. It gets worse along those lines.
Then they switch to chill with the clothes on…
Watch some Seinfeld
and then he tries again to get at her
She rolls out in tears.
The big thing in the press is whether this was just “bad sex” or “she should get over it, every woman goes through this” or “that ain’t rape” to “omg we need to run Aziz out of town and put him under the jail”. You don’t need to be a professional dating coach to the see all the problems. I would not be surprised if the NYPD got involved, and he lost his show at Netflix.
It’s clear to me that Aziz read a little bit about pick up, probably some of the same manuals that are available online. He seemed to pull out some technique while he was trying to get her excited, and also when she wasn’t ready.
In PUA terms he ran into “Last Minute Resistance” (LMR). At the very last minute!! the girl is putting up resistance!
And the way those PUA books are written, if a girl resists your physical advances – she’s not saying “No”, she’s saying “Not Yet”. Talk of LMR has always bothered me.
So what you’re supposed to do to “bust through LMR” is to withdraw the physical intimacy from the girl, which doubles for the emotional intimacy with the girl. (Under the original PUA model – guys are out for sex and girls are out for love/intimacy/closeness. It’s called Rocks and Gold. In reality, GIRLS LOVE SEX. And these stoic Marcus Aurelius alphas like intimacy as well – both sides don’t want to admit it to others or even themselves.)
So the manual says in order to bust through LMR, the guy should “blow out the candles” of the little romantic sex scene that he had going, physically get up from the girl, turn on the tv, check his email. But he must not be BUTTHURT while doing it. Cause if he seems mad/frustrated, that’s going to “break the spell”
What is supposed to happen, is that nice warm feeling that the girl gets by cuddling with you – she’s gonna feel a sense of loss and then realizes that she needs to get sexual in order to feel closeness. The gurus talk about negotiated desire, this is emotional bargaining.
Personally, I think when a chick is *not* tearing your clothes off and *not* really into the kissing, getting up from the coziness is a great idea. But that’s because the two people that are making out are not on the same page. There is no last minute resistance, there is just RESISTANCE.
You should not be getting last minute resistance, ever.
Lemme repeat that, You should not be getting last minute resistance, ever.
If you meet a girl, she likes you, she trusts you enough to leave the bar with you, to eat a meal with you, to go to your place, and to make out on your couch while you watch Netflix – what you’re supposed to do as the man is STOP SHORT.
The resistance comes from the man.
Is she worthy enough for your gift? And believe me, if you knock her up – you’re giving her far more than she’s giving you. Indeed, she could take everything from you, and you get nothing.
What we’re trying to generate in this situation is ENTHUSIASTIC consent on her part. Indeed, she should be trying to push herself on you because you are teasing her so much and have her so turned on. You are her drug, she is the addict.
And you are her drug. Know that. The fact that you have her back at your place and she’s getting very physically close to you is PROOF POSITIVE that she’s feeling you. These girls don’t go home with random strangers on a lark. That’s dangerous.
She might not come out and say it, so make it easy for her to express herself. Like wear a button up shirt so that she can unbutton your buttons.
You want her to say the words, you want her to make some moves.
How does he generate that desire?
A man makes this happen by turning that 10 second kiss into a 7 second kiss. By pretending to kiss her. By dodging her lips and going for her neck. By dodging her neck, and kissing the collar bone. He keeps her guessing.
I like to keep my site PG even though we’re talking about an XXX situation. If a man is on some BDSM stuff and she’s cool with that – it’s the same idea. A little bit of stimulus and then he pulls it back before she can get release.
2 steps forward, 1 step back.
So what should Aziz have done.
First – This broad tried to holla at him while she was with another guy. I get it, Big Bank take Little Bank. But that’s not the type of chick you’d want on your roster. Not even as a throwaway, because if she’s willing to do that to her date, she’ll do something worse to you.
Second – He should not have been so eager to send her a text. Me or you? A random text from a guy she spent a few minutes with when she was out on the town is probably a good idea. We may need to start the line of communication early. But he’s a god damned super star. If this chick was gonna leave the dude she was with to get his # (which is what happened, you have to read through the lines) – he could make her sweat it out a bit.
Does he like me? Does he not like me?
Third – He played “alpha” by making her drink his wine…but as annoying as that detail is – what’s clear from the beginning is that my man doesn’t really care about what the chick wants. He cares about what he wants.
He should have been paying attention. He doesn’t need to give her a choice, but a man often needs to let the woman have some input.
Fourth – He took her on a date. He took her on a typical dinner date.
He should not have taken this girl on the date.
At best this would have been Thai food from Seamless, 3 Buck Chuck box wine from Trader Joe’s, Netflix and Chill.
He wanted to hook up with her, but gave her girlfriend treatment.
Fifth – He did bring her by the spot, then took her on a date, then brought her back home. She did most of the talking. He didn’t do most of the talking.
He was betting on his “SMV” to do the work of attraction, building the trust, and then the seduction.
He needed to be active in his own pull. The jokes, the teasing, the getting to know you, sharing some secret fun with her, bringing her into his “emotional” world, how he sees things. That’s what he could have done.
The fact that she says she did most of the talking (which is a contrast to the usual bad “alpha” date where the guy talks about himself and his accomplishments) – tells us that he really wasn’t doing much for her mind.
The game is about the mind.
Sixth – He went too damn fast. I get that as a celeb used to banging groupies (which I wonder if he does), he wanted to get to the good part asap. But his SMV did mean much with regard to his actual value in the moment.
Did she want him? Want what he has?
What she wanted was to get away.
Even if he botched everything up until this point – she was still there, still wanting to hang out and see what would happen. This is after all the things she complained about. She could have rolled after dinner, but she stayed. Things could have went his way….
My man was super thirsty though.
So the play here was to sit on the couch, throw on some Seinfeld, make a few jokes, and then start making out. Then chill. Little by little, light kisses go to French Kisses, go to Necking, et cetera. Always stopping before she gets “there”. Making her crave his touch.
And that would have probably gone where he wanted it to go.
So the key here is not to “bust through last minute resistance by entirely withdrawing all physical intimacy, so as to punish the girl” – but rather to slowly escalate and pause the physical intimacy so that you reward the girl for taking action.
While you’re getting to the point of no return, it should be awesome.
And after you’ve done it all, you both should feel awesome. She should want to recount the story with a glow in her eyes and warmth in her voice. Maybe a little mischief as well.
Before you can really pull a lot – you need to have your base organized.
The Base Line
Are you healthy?
Are you physically fit? If you aren’t fit yet, are you working on it?
What’s your hygiene game looking like?
When’s the last time you went to the dentist?
What do your nails look like?
Without cologne, do you smell like a good body soap and deodorant?
What’s your style like? If you’re strictly into white tees and Air Jordans – are they clean?
What part of town do you live in?
How is your home set up? Does it look like you are still in a college mindset?
What does your spot smell like?
If you need a car where you live, is it a nice car? Is it a cool car? Is it clean?
What do you with your time during business hours? Are you employed? Are you self employed?
Now, if your psychological approach to pulling women is TIGHT – the less and less of this stuff you need. Think Lester Diamond.
Casino is one of the best movies about “game” that isn’t about game. I’ve talked about Lester before – but you had the super alpha Joe Pesci character, and the traditional boss/money man Robert Deniro character. Pesci and Deniro could have the body – but Lester had the mind.
I’m getting off topic here.
What is the basic skill set for the pick up artist, the player, the man with game (all 3 different people in my mind)
Given where you are – do you know where to find girls? Wherever you are in your self-development journey (lol) – you’re much more potent when a girl is face to face with you. Things that are hilarious in person, aren’t funny via text.
His own logistics – If things go right (and they will) – do you have a smooth exit planned? The player knows where his car is. He has Uber on speed dial. He has some libations and entertainment at his home. (I personally keep a big fat Bible on my night stand). So before he says one word to the girl, as soon as the signs look good, he can get out her out of that sinful environment of the bar or club and into a more wholesome environment, seamlessly.
Approach Anxiety – A new player has to push himself to talk. Approach Anxiety never goes away – it just stops being the thing that stops you. There are lots of ways to overcome AA – but it’s the real first hurdle in a player’s game
Opener – The better you get, the more you realize the opener is just an excuse for a man to open his mouth. A veteran can open with anything. A compliment, an insult, an observation, something about the environment. It’s rare (like lottery ticket rare) that the content of your first words are going to make a girl fall in love that night. But having something to say – even if it’s canned or commonly said – the only point of the opener is to start the conversation. “Hey” is a good one.
Keep it Light – That being said – a new player wants to start the conversation off right – and not go to heavy/serious topics that will pull the interaction down.
Volume – You will learn to be loud. You will speak slower. You will enunciate. And you will not end on an upward tone like you were asking a question (even if you are asking a question)
Eye Contact – This can go either way, but when you’re learning – direct eye contact is the way to go. The better you get, the more you realize that eye contact is a powerful weapon to be deployed
Body Language – Is supposed to be like you’ve done this a million times, even if you never have. So that means relaxed, like you were talking to one of your boys.
Keeping a straight face – After those first few words a woman can be warm, she can be cold, she can be hurtful, or she can be indifferent. She can pretend not to have heard you – etc. This is where guys kick themselves out of a pull. They expect a certain reaction – don’t get it – and then they get flustered and eject. The key here is after you deliver the opener – you maintain eye contact and let her fill the silence. Give it some time – and then it’s the next step
The Follow Up – Whatever you start with – whatever he reaction – the 90/10 rule is in effect. You’re going to have to maintain most of the conversation at the very beginning until – she opens up and wants to chat. So whatever you open with – you have to have an idea of where it goes/what the possible responses are – and where you can go after. So if you open with “Hey, I wanted to meet you.” You’re going to get a handful of typical reactions to that direct type of opener. Positive, Negative, or indifferent. If she opens positive – the player has a plan. If she opens negative – the player
Ice is Broken – Now What – So you’ve gotten her chatting – what next?
Regular guys vibe – they keep the conversation going – to basically nowhere.
Guys that are “good with women” use this opportunity to flirt. So if you’re having a nice chat about the weather – you say the cold weather is obviously doing something to her. Her mind will go one way, to the most obvious thing. And before that thing in her mind can go to her lips – you say that her nose is getting red because it’s cold.
What do players do – THEY GET HER SITUATION
Getting Her Logistics – You want to figure out why she’s at the venue, who she’s with (pretty girls rarely go out alone), what she has planned for the night, what she has planned for the morning.
So what are you doing out on a school night
Who’d you come with? Lemme meet your friends
You drinking, or are you the designated driver?
I stay close to here, what side of town are you on?
Flirting and Verbal Escalation– There are plenty of books on this, mostly written by women for women – but the essence of flirting is that you go from some neutral conversation to talking about the person. Complimenting on the one hand, teasing on the other. This is the stuff of Rom Com’s – and you should be watching those to understand *how* women think romance starts. It’s not how it actually starts – but if you adhere to the script in her mind, that’s been put there by Hollywood and all of her friends – you can use that to your advantage. This is where whatever nascent attraction that you established by being able to get into a conversation with the girl – starts to become “amorous” in nature.
Handling her problems – This is what separates the rookies from the old hands. If you’re really really attractive and the girl is really really independent – she’ll do all of the work for you. A lot of you guys are dealing with the under 25 set – so you’ve got more things to work out. Once they get to a certain point – there is a lot more cooperation.
Meet the friends
Figure out where she lives
Figuring out how you can get her into a cab and out to a diner.
Pull – A player has broken the ice, he’s flirted and got her curious, figured out what her issues were, solves those issues, and from the very beginning had his location and exit planned out – it’s time to leave. A simple “You ready to go?” is usually all it takes. I’m not going to get deep into “trust” for this post – but the game is truly played in “comfort” – now that she’s attracted – is she comfortable being with you?
You get her out of the venue and into a cab/uber/your car/your place that is a block away – that’s pretty much it. You jump in the ride, get to your spot, shoes off, and crank up the Gospel cause it’s time to pray.
This would be a textbook pull with the typical text book problems.
What about Laser Eyes, Cutting Space/Invading her space, Seeding the Bounce, Time Bridge, Time Dilation, Trust Building, cold feet, dealing with the mother hen in her group, Swedish Massage stuff – Those are all areas to be ironed out and optimized based on your style of game.
A very efficient guy will sniper a particular girl, use heavy eye contact, close the physical gap, invade her physical space to the extent that she feels his strength, smells his cologne and touches his skin – almost immediately. He’ll propose an after party before they’ve even discussed what she’s doing that night.
A guy that’s more choosy will follow the basic guideline but spend more time trying to figure out if the girl is worthy of him. Not qualifying her as some gambit – but really asking himself if this girl is worth sharing himself with.
When I think of game, my mind goes to a bar or club. I’m thinking of where to go to tonight, and what are my “after party” options.
My game is essentially
Connect with a chick
Get her out of the venue to a new venue
Get her back to my place to read the Bible. (this is a Family blog!)
I’m basically all about night game. Night game means you’ve got girl density and girl propensity. Lots of chicks, and lots of them down to party. Now do they necessarily want to party with me? That’s what game is for.
That being said, there are tons of opportunities to make connections outside of these “socially sanctioned times and places to socialize”.
As an alternative to bars and dance clubs, there are “softer” events.
Down tempo night game stuff like – Restaurant Bars, Whisky/Wine Tastings, Museums, Art Shows – it’s pretty much night game, but lite. So you have the propensity to socialize, but the crowd is older and usually more laid back.
A step up from that is street game in the party district.
In these areas, girls are open to talking to random dudes on the street. The infamous talk to a chick waiting for an Uber, and then jump in the car with her is sort of in this vein. (or convince random Uber Pool user to go with you instead of going to whatever lame event they’re going to)
For hardcore night game guys, there’s usually a pre-party spot where chicks are ramping up for the club, but still have that low key approachability but also propensity to be social.
What day game offers is much more approachability, but not so much propensity for romance.
I talk about this in the book. If you aren’t autistic, you understand that during the day, most people are going about their daily business.
I know that during my morning commute I don’t want to deal with anything. By lunch, I’ll generally more sociable. At the end of the day, I’m dying to deal with people that I choose to deal with.
I’m typical. There are some true extroverts out there that get a charge from dealing with strangers – but that is not the norm.
As a side note, the best way to do a morning approach during the work rush is to take advantage of the scene and use an environmental opener.
Taking the morning rush out of the equation, the rest of the day is usually more social for everyone.
And that’s what Day Game offers new guys. Girls are, oddly, more willing to talk to random guys during the day. That’s part of modern life, talking to strangers as you go about your day.
But if you’re in anyway sane – you know that these little chats are anything but conversations.
When’s the train coming
I believe you’ve stolen my purse
The premise of day game is that you can start a “man-to-woman” conversation during the day as she goes about her business. This basically slams you into the “propensity” problem.
Sure you can flirt – you can push and pull – you can have your best stories, your sharpest jokes – but the chick is like
DUDE WRAP IT UP B, I GOT TO GO BACK TO WORK.
So day game in real life for guys with regular schedules, who aren’t living on passive income, or who’s livelihood his pick up – the interaction has to be something that’s short and sweet that either leads to
A nearby Instadate
A solid #
If you’re running mall game, day time street game in a place with a lot of people, on the weekend – the “formal” Instadate is a possibility.
So there are two plays here.
The new school play – especially for you young cats – Social Media Close. I’m a little long in the tooth to be posing with Tigers in Thailand or Surfing in Bali. You young dudes? *by young I mean you can pass for less than 35* Get that chicks Insta/Twitter/Facebook. And then follow one of them new gurus on how to create a Fear of Missing Out lifestyle for this chick.
But I’m old school
The old school idea is to make a big emotional impact on the girl – within that 300 seconds – something pushes her to “keep in touch with you”
I broke it down on the thread for the homie Basket Bounce, but I’ll touch on it here as well.
This is the typical day game set up
You’re going about your day as usual.
You see the chick, looking nice.
Approach from the proper angle
Use your opener
Push and Pull to give her that Man to Woman Vibe
Get her logistics and know yours cold
So where a lot of guys try to go romance or try to get “straight to the point” or make her laugh and leave on a high note – what the player goes for is something that will leave a “stain on her brain” as my my Guru used to say
The people we meet and remember – sometimes do something incredible themselves – but more often they say things to us – that stick in our minds.
You guys know I love a good cold read, a good Barnum Statement… That’s why part of your media diet should include anything mystical/girly/astrological. Chicks love “personality” quizzes – because it tells them about their favorite subject – themselves.
Look at the latest women centered magazine next time you’re picking up your ground turkey and broccoli (eat clean Bro!).
That’s your key insight. Whatever is on the cover of a gossip rag or Cosmo. Those people have keyed in on what makes women BUY. Use their knowledge.
Here’s a free one, “I bet sometimes you’re so sure of yourself, but a lot of the time, you doubt yourself”
A statement like that begs for more analysis. And that’s the HOOK. She’s not gonna think about how dreamy you are when you leave – but she will think about HERSELF and what you said about her, when you’re no longer in her presence.
Like I said on the board
Strong emotional read
Motion to leave
It’s cool, I don’t even know your name.
Let her invest by moving first, getting your name, giving her name, and then pushing her # on you.
If she’s not pushing the # on you – chances are so-so on it being a good #.
She needs a reason to call you, and it can’t be for you to play Pizza Delivery Guy in an iPhone budget “art film”.