Let’s start with the baseline.
You’re eating right and working out. You been to the dentist and the barber. You got a little spending money, your own car or transportation, and your own spot. You’re dressing the best you can, and you dress right for the venue.
That’s the baseline. That’s the baseline that you work on every day, every hour, every minute, every second of your life. A man is in a continual state of improvement. When you aren’t doing anything in particular, you’re conserving your energy, meditating, letting your muscles heal.
So let’s start there.
Let’s then look at the state of the world
Most guys aren’t in the race.
So let’s just assume that only 4 out of 10 guys are really trying to meet a chick to get with. Of the guys that are in the race, very few even attempt to make themselves presentable. That’s the visual aspect of the game.
What about the behavioral aspect of the game? How many of them have heard of game, much less know game? Just reading any game blog puts you head of 98 out of 100 guys. Reading mine, well that’s put you ahead of 99 out of 100 guys (lol).
So how do those 40% actually meet a chick and make a family?
School, Work, Church, Friends of Family, and friends of friends.
Meeting a girl through cold approach? That’s the stuff you only see in movies (porn usually), or see certain guys do.
And what kind of game do these guys use?
Hey, how you doing?
They go direct, and they ask boring questions. The girl knows the dance, and she makes her assessment right then and there, and decides whether or not if she wants to comply.
In the late 90’s, the guys going out to clubs quickly realized that such a simple and straightforward approach didn’t get them the results that they wanted.
Part of that is because they weren’t particularly honest about what they wanted from the girl (We’ll discuss Mode One at some point). But if you approach a girl, at a club, she can rightfully assume sexual intent. Based on that information alone, she’ll make the “spend time with this guy” decision, INSTANTLY. This is where the dreaded “5 seconds, she knows whether or not…” type stuff comes from.
When PUA was coming together, it basically dispelled this myth and made the “dance” between two strangers seem far less mysterious.
And then it all died, you know the drill. So what do game guys since the death of Mystery Method talk about?
They front load their ability to attract by looking good. Not just physically through diet, exercise, and clothes – but also socially and financially. With the visual covered, the behavioral component is to “Act Alpha” (bro!). So this is “Mode One”, “Emotionally Honest”, “Being a Man and not beating around the bush”.
This return to being a “real man” basically flies in the face of everything learned in the late 90’s/early 00’s.
If you’re a long time reader of WIA, you know this whole meathead approach to the game bothers the hell out of me.
I’ve been around that my entire life. That’s the epitome of black athlete “game”.
We haven’t talked much about black guy game, so let’s do that now
- Black Athlete Game – Look big. Be muscular. Be tall
- Gangsta Game – Look intimidating
- Baller Game – These are the guys popping bottles.
- Dancing Guy Game – This is the guy in the middle of the dance floor trying to grab on to any chick close by
- Rasta/Foreigner game
- Alternative Black Guy Game – Alternative is relative, but this is the guy wearing H&M when everyone else is in Jerseys. Or when everyone is fashionable, he is ULTRA fashionable. The type of guy that
This should be in your memory banks if you go to urban events. Most guys there try to fit in to one of those categories – but most of the time they fail because they don’t go all the way. Halfway crooks.
Now for non-black guys that decide to go the meathead route, they think they’ve unlocked some kinda cheat code. Maybe being a built white guy really works well in 90% vanilla environments, but not in black ones. (I don’t think it works that well for white guys either, but can’t really speak on that)
I know from years of being out there next to these genetic freaks who are more “alpha” than the guys pushing the bullshit – that it’s not even close to being a silver bullet. In a black club, being 6’+ and in shape is par for the course. And most black guys can at least do the same ol two step. A good looking black chick has her pick of black dudes like that.
Those athletic dudes actually clean up in white clubs because they’re selling Mandingo. (I’m not linking anything here, lol. This is a family blog!) And that’s only if Big Black Buck know how to get past the security, and flex his muscles on the low at the chick but not at the dudes, and tap into a chick’s dark fantasies. (I’d like some Frantz Fanon here, but not trying to lose y’all with too much stuff)
How do these chicks choose?
Black Chicks (or any girl that’s used to black clubs) end up fixating on these dudes faces. All the muscles in the world, chiseled jaw and all, can’t help a busted face.
What about the G’s?
I’m never surprised if some of these cats have a real rep in the streets either. I know I’ve bumped into the wrong dudes before. The idea that chicks like gangsters is a gross simplification of the dynamic. Corner boy don’t get Amber Rose, that’s for the kingpin, and only if the kingpin is sloppy.
It goes back to what women get off on.
They ain’t watching Brazzers, they’re reading 50 Shades. They’re reading Zane. They’re not seeing, they’re envisioning. That’s why historically men lie and women use make up.
Each gender plays their strengths against the weakness of the other.
What’s a player to do? I’m close to 6 feet, but I don’t have the physique of an athlete.
Yet, I’m in my 40’s and my last chick was a cute 23 year old.
It ain’t cause I have a six pack. Being six pack thin would not get me anything at an after work bar. They can’t see those muscles under a dress shirt.
I could always go direct. There some girls that find my mug attractive right off.
Let’s call that the 10% – the green lights.
Then there are girls that if I came at them in anyway, they’d be NO. The red lights, another 10%
That leaves the 80%.
The central idea of game is not that your personality and behavior can “compensate” for your lack of physical good looks. Now, the idea is that your behavior makes you attractive.
You guys that go out and see the pretty boys, tall boys, meatheads talk to chicks – and see the eyes of the women go from ecstatic to bored – understand this intuitively.
Now these dudes have everything going for them looks wise, and they go in direct. In a black club, sometimes the neanderthals will just put their paws on a chick and try to pull her close. Whatever currency he had as a fit black man, he loses for being a gorilla.
So direct only gets you so far. And it always puts the ball in the girl’s court. She decides.
What happens if you approach a girl and just start talking to her. You don’t ask for her name, for any information, to dance, to go with you, if she wants a drink – NONE OF THAT. You just talk to her.
Is that indirect game? That you basically b.s. with a chick, see if she likes you, and then ask for to dance, for her #, her name, to have your children?
No. That’s delaying your direct approach.
Even if she gives you the silent greenlight to talk to her, and ask her something – something she’s likely to say yes to – she’s still in the driver’s seat.
The game hasn’t changed at all.
You need to change the game.
Let’s loop back the early 00’s. What the PUA guys discovered was that guys that were “naturally” good with women – got the women to chase them. The man presented so much value to the chick IN THE INTERACTION that she wanted more from him.
The value? Novelty. She hasn’t dealt with a guy that’s interesting to her, but not interested in her.
So this was the indirect style. The chick had to invest, had to prove herself to him, in order for him to validate her.
She might very well think as the dude steps up,
“I’m not interested in some 40 year old that’s not 6’3″…but I’ll entertain him because I’m bored”
He baits her, pushes her away, says they won’t work out, does things that are outrageous and before she knows it – she wants to talk to him. All that stuff about his appearance washes away. She’s into him because he delivers the feelings. The emotional roller coaster.
That’s indirect. He’s attracting her in an indirect fashion.
So let’s recap
- Look Good and Ask the girl for something – Direct. She still has the power
- Look Good and talk to a girl, wait for her to be in to you, and then ask her for something – Direct, She still has the power
- Look Good and talk to a girl, wait for her to be in to you, and push her away. Make her ask you for something – Indirect. You have the power. You’re calling the shots.