Keeping Her Happy?


Guys come to the game mostly based on the fact that chicks are not rational, reasonable, accountable, or willing to follow through.

– “Is there something I can do to make her behavior consistent?”
– “I behave consistently, why doesn’t she follow my lead?”
– “When I change it up, she gets mad.  When she changes it up, and I get mad, she gets mad at me for being mad at her…”

What game seems to do is explain some of their behavior – finds the internal logic.

Once you start viewing women through some of the game philosophies – things start to make a lot of sense.

What game hasn’t answered sufficiently in my opinion – is what to do to make something work long term.

She has to want it to work on an emotional level, not a logical one.

A chick will divorce you with 7 kids to parent and feed (See Brad Pitt)

So the work around has been to feed her emotional things to keep her mind occupied.   But like exercise or a cat with a string – it gets bored and wants new challenges.

Thus there’s a bunch of things that guys have come up with – but overall – these chicks still get bored.

Betas buy her stuff, take her places, give her children.
Alphas are dismissive, don’t care about her feelings.
Players come through and listen to her thoughts, and give her insight on life.

None of it is good enough for all women for all of the time.

You can screen upfront, but unless you keep the chick locked in the basement – she’s going to get new information, new wants, new desires, and new feelings.

So you’re constantly having to keep her in check.

And then there are those guys that are so focused on self, and only intermittently turn their attention to females – and they give them quality time…but then it’s back to the program.

So if she wants those feelings, she has to work for them, because just her being there, just her giving sex is NOT enough.

Switch the game up.

More later.

-Archie

Two Failed Forum Posts

Got this cued up to my favorite part of this song…

  • Baby, be mellow
  • and be sweet
  • forget about the diet, sit down and eat
  • losing that weight you don’t
  • because the more you got, the more I want…

But let the whole thing rock out.  James had a whole lot of game.  The very end, where he’s setting up the punch line….that’s how you run proper Black Man game…

This ain’t about James though.  Two failed post in the two days.

On Sed Fast, there’s an old thread that’s tangentially about 10’s.  But there’s an interesting point about some of the dissonance with the ten thing.

Let’s Get the Definition of a 10 out of the Way

I’m not gonna post those kinda pics on my site.   But there are considered 10’s.

These are legit fashion models

Here’s another set of 10’s – The Victoria Secret Angel’s

If you’re here – with Archie – reading my stuff, your idea of a 10 is probably not in line with these “objective” 10s.    If you’re the sort of person that dreams of flying off to Moldova and learning a slavic language to slay tall skinny girls….well….

But when guys talk about the game, they talk about how they feel, and that their game lacks when chatting up these “10’s”.

I have questions

  1. First of all, where they finding these objective 10 type chicks?  But more importantly….
  2. Is it true/”deep in your balls” sort of attraction?  Or is attraction that’s socially conditioned?  Like when you see one of these cat eyed looking giraffes, are you thinking to yourself, “Man I want to put a baby in that womb now, I’ll worry about the consequences later..”

But those are pre-lim questions – talk amongst yoruselves.

What really got this whole thing sparked, (aside from being able to highlight one of my favorite James Brown moments in one of my fave James Brown songs) is the idea of

The more you got, the more I want.

Sometimes you come across a chick that is conventionally attractive, but she’s not quite the socially approved objective 10.

In our community, it might be a relative 10.  Say a Beyonce or a Teyana Taylor (She’s in the latest Kanye video – Fade) or a Diane Guerrero (Orange is the New Black).

I’m kinda not talking about that chick either.

Sometimes you…”get a whiff” of a chick..and that scent goes straight to the reptile part of your brain.  The part that controls fighting and hunger.   Like you just want to the tear the chick out of the frame, full on animal lust.

You veterans know what I’m talking about.  Like a man dying from thirst comes across an oasis, and drinks for hours.

My question is, when faced with something that hits you deep in your balls

Does your game get better?

That of course leads my mind to think of other things

  • If that hunger drives my game to get good, how can I do things that will inspire it.
  • How do I recognize that hunger?  Have I been in that state of mind before, but didn’t know what it was, nor how to capitalize on it….

-Archie

The Sex Addict

[Ed. Trying to work through a backlog of half finished pieces]

This one was sparked the a comment on the forum about needing to have all your internal stuff sorted out before you can pull 1) quantity, 2) quality.

 

If you do this long enough, if you pay attention , you’ll see all sorts of guys pull.  There are all sorts of rackets to having sex.   Only one of which is “Cold Approach Conversion Game”

So when I hear a young guy coming into the game talking about having to build up internally in order to get chicks, I just shake my head.

I look at the guys that I know get a fair amount of trim, and some of them are emotionally healthy, and others have deep issues.

I’ve mentioned one of the dudes before. He’s a full on sex addict. He has four kids, three different mothers, and will still spend his time in clubs.

When he can’t get out, he’ll order up a pro. I’ve seen him work, and heard his pulls. Flash game to get her open, then drills down on her insecurity.

He’s not really right in his life. Either he’s deeply insecure or he’s overly full of himself.

But he pulls like crazy despite not being together mentally.  Indeed, it’s his faults that probably *help* him pull.

Bagging chicks is a skillset. Arguably it’s a mindset, but that’s for later

Famous Players that have the Skill Set, but don’t necessarily

  • Mystery – Most famously with his break down in the game
  • Style – according to him in his latest book
  • Tyler – again, we’ve seen that
  • Some of the other RSD instructors who’ve attracted notoriety over the years

Now, to be fair, if you want to teach pick up professionally, it’s a lot of dealing with young girls drama, and a whole lot of handling people.  On top of that, you’re dealing with male personalities and egos.   The nature of the work isn’t as conducive to mental calm as say library science.

Outside of our world, crazy chicks pull guys.   Within my community, when a guy dates a crazy chick, the assumption is that the pussy must be bananas.

“Whoa, she slashed your tires dawg?  Bet that gunch is fire..”

Game is a skill set.

  • See the girl.  Approach. Start the conversation.
  • Dazzle her.  Get her to invest and double down.
  • Give her some rapport,
  • Find someplace to get cozy
  • Read Qur’an verses to each other.

Maybe your mindset and internals give you bad body language,  poor micro-expressions, but these are things that you can smooth over with practice.  If you needed a shrink to work out all of your mommy and daddy issues, no one would get laid.

-Archie

Can U Feel Me?

The content of the routine/opener/conversation is only 7% important.  The sub-communication, the “real” conversation is 93% important.

Technically, the 93% refers to expressing emotion.  So while not actually true for general communication – since we’re trying to influence the emotions – i.e. make her feel good, surprise her, use novelty – 93% is good enough for government work.

Stepping up, being confident, know that there’s going to be a reaction as a result of what you say – is why the routines work.  It’s why jokes work.  It’s why sales scripts work.

And taking the randomness out of it, reducing people to just variables is why a lot of dry dick mf’ers and arm chair seducers hate it.

Those of us who actually like sex will use what works and worry about the degradation of the arts later.

Now, I definitely push a more “technical” side of the game, but that’s not because the deeper concepts aren’t useful.  It’s just that it’s through the technique that you understand the deeper concepts.

  • When you can reliably start a conversation
  • When you know the right time to touch a girl’s elbow during that conversation
  • When you see the physical proof and her behavior changes as you take her through various emotions through what you say, don’t say, how you touch, and don’t touch…

When those things happen – you start to see the deeper picture.  When I affect her emotional state, when I make her feel something, she starts to like me.   And arguably it’s because she likes the way she feels when she’s around you.

She said she feel free when she’s around me
I’m letting her do her and, in turn, she’s doing me
She on the phone with her friends like, “How cool is he?”

For me at least, I’ve always been concerned about transference of feelings.

She doesn’t like me, she just likes the way I make her feel.

That thought pattern leads to bad things.  It could be that these chicks don’t ever really like us for us…but real rap, a lot of the time we don’t like them for them.  For what they look like, for what they do for us. But as people…. Tell me I’m lying….

-Archie

Yield to Merge

This is the man himself.   Pickup/Game has come pretty far since the late 90’s, but Mystery was the guy who basically cracked the code.

By cracking the code I mean, he figured out what the guys that were good with women were doing, and what regular guys were doing wrong.

That being said, usually when I big up Mys, it’s this “model’, more so than his method.

  1. See, Walk Over, Get Her Attention, Show some personality.
  2. When she bites, make her invest more, before you give her validation.
  3. Try and get some quiet time with her to build up the trust.
  4. Then excuse yourself from the environment and head back to your spot.
  5. From there, read the Bible together

It doesn’t sound like much, it sounds obvious.

But the real kicker is that most guys try to build rapport and find commonalities with a chick before she’s even got a taste of their personality.

You hear it reflected in the culture.

Chris Rock said, “You ain’t ever gonna find someone that likes Seinfeld and Wu Tang” – the underlying premise is that men are looking for women with similar interests, and that’s part of how we try to attract women.

So as far as I’m concerned, Mystery observing naturals and backwards engineering what they did – basically figured out that guys good with women weren’t seeking rapport right off the bat.  They’d show personality, and only when the chick started digging them, did they even think about changing gears…

Now that particular insight doesn’t really, in my mind at least, connect with everything else that he did, does, or figured out.

So on to video.

I think the strongest part was at the beginning. (and he says later on in the 3 videos that the 1st 10 minutes of a comedian’s act carries you through the entire act – which is why having some good canned material is great – to which I agree)

How you get good at game?  Master the 3 set.

1 – master the three set
2 – merge sets – The set of people you just talked to, merge them with a new set of people.
3 – invite last night’s girls out
4 – invite last weeks girls out
5 – invite last months girls out

^each little step builds on itself. Merging Set 1 with Set 2, makes opening set 3 and 4 way easier.

Now when I’m killing it, and other folks are in earshot, of course they open easier. And I do like to introduce people from time to time.

But I’m imagining doing all of this on purpose. Next bar I go to, I can basically put it in my head that I’m trying to be the guy that’s trying to get the whole place hype. Just by lightly cold approaching a lot of sets with good energy and no agenda, but also merging sets regularly – any and all targets become warm because NO GUY DOES THIS. Tall guys, rich guys, meatheads, even gift of gab type dudes.

Club behavior the world over is come with your little group, and stay in the group.  All groups are little ice cubes (cold and small, differentiated), until the music, liquor and atmosphere melt them down to water again.

Imagine you’re the heat. That’s what I’m thinking.

My typical m.o.  – I’ll go from set to set, get logistics from the girls, hit the dance floor, drank a drank, and then come back sets where 1) I like the chicks, 2) the logistics look good.

It’s in a sense screening, indirect, modified sniper sort of game. But now I’m thinking I can talk to the entire club like normal BUT merge sets.

Because of social proof, I can turn a lot of red lights to yellow, and yellow lights to green as chicks are like “Who’s that Ziggy Marley looking mf’er that’s cool with everyone?”

To an extent, I’ve done this before, but it was unconscious.That’s what happens when you build a circuit over weeks/months with various clubs. By actively merging sets, I can cut that time down considerably now.

More importantly, a man can run this type of game and not really put his ego at risk. He can just be a host and let the girls warm up to him. Build that false familiarity up. (We haven’t talked false familiarity yet, but go out enough and be seen – your club family will see you out and about in your town.  Even if you’ve never so much as exchanged words – just being a familiar face puts them at ease.

This is bridging the gap of cold approach to building a social circle where you are at the center.

It’s long game.
It’s promoter game.

Imagine running this type of game at a business networking event.

-Archie

My girl is acting up

If my girl starts acting up, then i’ll take her friend

Q. Hey Archie, my girl had a bad day, what should I do?

A.

I’ve faced your situation many a time. After been burned, after getting drained myself I’ve changed my outlook. I than an Eastern European taxi driver that i met last year.

If *her* bad day is forcing you into a situation where you have to manage her emotions by either listening to her bitch and holding your tongue, or banging her –she’s the one in control. She has “hand”.  She has the more powerful frame than yours.

This is a bad situation.

The main idea within a relationship for a man/player is NOT

“How can I keep her around?”

but rather

“What is she doing to hold my interest?”
“What is she doing right now to keep ME around?”

If she’s actively losing your interest, or causing you drama – then you need to initiate a sequence

  1.  Get her attention
  2. “You’re not constructively solving your problem”
  3. Let her recognize she’s being a bitch or negative or annoying
  4. If she persists, either make her leave, or you leave
  5. Say to her, I’ll contact you when you feel better
  6. Then, *turn off your phone*

This is not about manipulating her, it’s about preserving *yourself* and your own sanity.

When someone gets into this negative spiral, and they’re making you solve their problem it’s abuse. Leave.

I don’t know if the girl is toxic, or she’s codependent or any of that daytime talk show pop psychology stuff – but now I recognize that behavior as being corrosive.

She’s going to blow up your phone, let her. You already told her what she was doing wrong

-Archie

*Also, the game is rarely about manipulating the girl. It is about giving her options, options she didn’t consider.

Understanding the Pet Shop Opener


Q. Hey WIA, I’m having a problem with the pet shop opener and the elderly chat. Should I switch to more direct game?

A. This post might ruffle some feathers, but the pet shop opener is not an easy one to use. Neither is elderly chat easy to use.

Second question first – Should you switch to more direct game? 

You need to learn both.  You can’t always see a girl and get super sexual and expect her to be with it. (Great for night game, street festivals, and concerts.  Basically anything with density and alcohol)

In most game situations, having social savvy will get the P into V better than being a caveman.   (learn caveman game though)

The Pet Shop Opener

They’re both easy to understand and are easy on a young player’s ego, but the young player just going out for the first few months might be atsea when it comes to making these canned routines do what they’re supposed to do.

[Ed. Funny how these canned lines don’t get the hate that most of the early 2000’s pua stuff gets. Wait, why am I ‘Ed.-ing’ my own words? ]

Before we dissect these, let’s go back to some Game 101.

You need to believe that it’s possible to get a girl to like a guy from a cold approach.

You need to believe that this is possible for *you*, not some fictional average man out there.

Opening

Opening is just starting the conversation.  Strangers start conversations with each other all the time..in our culture that is.  Other places I’ve heard, there’s much more social atomization and privacy.  And other places (South America, Africa, etc) folks can be much more open armed.  It really depends.

Opening, by itself, will not result in a bang.   “Hey” is an opener.  But “Hey” isn’t a magic word.

That’s openers.

Basic Game Structure

The other piece that needs to be explained is that the basic game structure is

  1. Get attention of young lady
  2. Open the young lady
  3. Show (not tell) your positive qualities (Verbally and Non-Verbally)
  4. Wait for her to show signs, (it gets more complicated – see other posts on Female to Male attraction)
  5. Make her work for your attention/favor before you validate her.

So recap

  1. Opening is simple
  2. Show value, make her chase.

Capiche?

Now when it comes to the pet shop opener, I always envision a guy with a shopping bag seeing a lone girl with her shopping bag in some European city center.    But it’s always a day game scenario.

So he sees said lonely girl, he sidles up to her and says

“Do you know where there is a pet shop?”

She replies, but what she says doesn’t really matter.

“Because, I need to go to a pet shop for this reason…” And then he starts rambling. (Talking to her, showing value, but not showing that he’s sexually interested)

And that’s basically it.

The opening line is a question.  It’s a fairly interesting question, one that most people don’t get asked.  And then the transition is largely seamless and logical.

So the question opens, but it’s the reason (the punch line if you will)that is what really is supposed to get the girl engaged in the conversation.

Using the patented WIA game analysis engine (lol) – what is the sub-communication?

At the top level, you’re asking for help.  But by rambling and telling your story, she

  • Knows that you want to chat (and by stepping up and chatting, like it’s something you do all the time – she can glean that you’re assertive, and this usually goes well for you.  So she can be at ease)
  • Gets a bit of your personality (and that’s a demonstration of who you are)

Here’s the man himself on the topic

The Pet Shop Opener

Rhetorical Hater – So Archie, you know everything about game, what’s wrong with this?

Hey I’m not game guru, I’m still learning.  I ask questions from guys that I respect on the regular.

And nothing is wrong with this.  I’ve gotten phone #’s and instadates off this and similar openers.    But I didn’t start out with this kind of game.  I’d had thousands of night game and social circle conversations before hand.

So breaking it down.

On the plus side, just starting an innocent conversation and talking with a stranger is low stress for the player.   Anyone can do this.  Rambling and Elderly Chat are the same sort of thing.  The only problem that new players have with this is that they run out of things to say.  If the girl doesn’t help them, the approach fizzles.

So it doesn’t threaten your mental state in the moment, and you probably have enough inner game strength (ideally) to get started with this.    No hits to the ego.  No harsh rejections.  No insurmountable obstacles.  Nothing complicated to memorize.

So of the 4 corners of game, 1) inner game, 2) technique aka outer game – these two are covered.

Rhetorical Hater – Wait, what?  4 corners of the game?

Glad you asked, the other 2 are, 3) Social Context, 4) How the Chick is feeling/What she might be thinking.

Social Context

The homey “Todd Valentine” of RSD fame talks about the social dynamics a bit in one of his products.  (I forget which).   Every social interaction is one person giving to another.  But people have limits to what they’ll give a stranger.

If you went up to a stranger and asked them for 1,000 dollars, they would keep walking.  I see homeless people ask for one dollar bills, and women in pant suits keep it moving.  Probably pre-dialed the 9 and the 1.

However, If you ask someone for the time, they’ll give it to you.

Am I going in the right direction for the train station?  They will point you in the right direction.

Common courtesy, and it only costs the question answerer a little bit of time and minimal effort.

But when you ask for more, more than they’re willing to give, more than the social context requires of the situation, that’s when you meet resistance.

And that’s the hard part about day game.  At least at night, the social environment “let’s you assume the best”. *MESSAGE – USING THE ENVIRONMENT TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOU, DOUBLED EDGED SWORD*

So in the Pet Shop Scenario – the initial question is asking a little bit more than where is the train station.  It’s a subtle thing, but it’s one that we can use to rework the opener.  Because you’re draining her a bit to ask the question.

Her feelings!

Now I’ll be the first person to tell you that you shouldn’t really try to figure out exactly what a girl is going to do or say.  Keep the poker tactics at the table.   “If she thinks, that I think, that she thinks….”

That being said, you cant’ be a dummy either.

How would you respond to this question?

How would a typical young cute girl respond to this question? (Would there be a big difference?)

Chances are good that she’s a pet owner, but it could go the either way.  If she’s a pet owner, she might just give you a straight up answer.   You’re actually looking for her to not know where a pet store is, but interested in hearing about the pet store. (it’s a gamble in my mind)

Feeling wise, how invested can she be emotionally in helping you find a pet store?  Especially if the emotional draw/personality value comes AFTER the question?

You’re asking for value from her, before giving her value.  Why should she give you common courtesy?  When you start running up on chicks, a lot of them are so ….angry…that they throw common courtesy out the window.

So how would I remix the Pet Shop Opener?

I’d pack more game into the opening question.  I’d give her something that *statistically* she might care about.

Chick Crack.

“Net Game” used to talk about chick crack. This was stuff like personality tests, psychology quizzes, astrology, palm reading, body language cues, pop culture…et cetera.   You talked about things that they knew about, or were in to, to get the conversation really going.

Really Old School PUA would be about mirroring them.  Getting their values and quietly becoming the asshole boyfriend.

Newer School PUA reversed.  I don’t want to be like her, I want her to be like me.  I’m not going to turn myself into what she wants (or says she wants), she’s going to become what I want.

So with chick crack, old school would talk about Beyonce or Real Hip Hop ATL and vibe with the girl, and New School would talk about it and then disqualify themselves because the chicks liked Nene or whoever is on that show.  Or something like that.

So taking these two things – chick crack and remaking a chick into your image – you update the new school Pet Shop opener by starting the pet shop opener with a bit of a challenge.

  1. “You look like a dog/cat/animal lover….” (a cold read that begs the question)
  2. “Hey are you cat kinda girl or a dog kinda girl” (a question that’s easy to answer, and one that everyone has an opinion on)
  3. “OMG, total emergency, do you know of a 24 hour pet store…… See my Ex’s ferret got out of the cage, and I can’t find him…I was thinking that i’d rent a ferret..”  (the drama of an ex girl friend…”

Rhetorical Hater – “Isn’t this a bit contrived? A ferret?  Really?  Are you wearing a fuzzy hat?”

Asking a girl about a pet store is the height of contrivance.   It’s totally artificial.

But it opens.  And when you’re starting out, until you get the rhythm of conversation and how girls typically respond TO YOU, using some tried and true routines are good training wheels.  Once you get the rhythm, you can basically use your own stories and punch them up, and drop them whenever you need to.

-Archie

Go forth?

So we go off the basic model for seduction around these parts.

  1. See the girl
  2. Step up to the girl
  3. Spit your game. (which is 7% verbal, 93% non-verbal)
  4. When she wants more, qualify her.  “You really want this girl? You better invest”
  5. When she’s earned your respect, then you start to build trust.
  6. Once trust has been established you retire to a more relaxed environment.  To listen to Bill Withers records of course.

The model that society teaches you is

  1. Wait
    1. for her to notice,
    2. You wait for fate
    3. Jah to intervenes
  2. If not, approach respectfully
  3. Build trust by seeking commonalities
  4. Then try to show personality
  5. Never qualify, be thankful she gives you attention
  6. Give her stuff and praise, unearned often times
  7. Then, Go home to read the bible and maybe hold hands, as long as you keep the door open.

If you’re here, you’ve tried both and find the latter lacking and the former fucking.

But, one of the harder parts of the attract/trust/seduce model is you’re not supposed to qualify her until she shows interest.

What counts as interest?

So the pimps assume if a chick makes eye contact or she even gets near you – that’s interest.  Okay, that’s cool for the initial “warm” approach.

But I’m talking about you’ve already stepped up, hit her with the flim flam….2nd pitch of the howza yowza….and another shot of the mojo.

Classic PUA states that if she’s still there, she’s interested.  A truly disinterested/disgusted girl will walk away. (quickly)

As “net game” got refined – the argument then became chicks higher up the “looks” ladder – were used to guys who came in, did their thing, and ASSUMED attraction.

New Player, “Okay, I can assume, no problem.  ”

New Player – “So should I just start qualifying her right then and there?”

This is basically where the game goes from Science to Art.

I honestly don’t have a great answer for this.  What I do in practice when the girl isn’t show clear disinterested/indifference is as my boy GRRM would say

“Put her to the question”

Ask her something that is both personal and requires a response that shows her cards.

“We seem to be vibing, let’s go check out that booth over there.”

Basically, it’s a moment of truth, make it or break it.  And if you act like everything is going to plan – a lot of the time – she’ll just follow. (and a whole bunch of the time, she’ll just look at you like – Who is this guy, lol. )

Just something I was thinking about today.

-Archie

In Offense of Suit Game

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love a good suit.  I like the way it looks, the way it looks on me, the way I feel when I put it on.  Putting my arms through the sleeves and feeling that Bemberg lining through a nice cotton dress shirt… The way the body of the suit drapes my own.  I might spend 3 minutes tying and retying my tie to get that perfect dimple.   It’s the sort of detail that nobody but me will notice or even care about.  And when I’m actually trying to pull chicks, I’m less likely to wear a suit because I’m just going to sweat through it, make it smoky,and possibly a splash of Yamazaki 12 might get on it if things get to hype.

I really wear my suits for me.  Not for any other reason. (Well my job does call for some suit wearing from time to time, but less as time goes on. )

When you’re feeling like a bad ass in a suit – you radiate that to other people.  I know it sounds corny, but you can tell when an animal is scared or angry by its body language.  You can tell when a child is fussy or needs to pee, by body language.  You can tell that those young dudes that just stepped into the venue are looking for trouble.

The same thing happens when you put on a suit and you’re feeling it.  Same thing happens when a woman puts on some heels and she’s strutting around and walking powerfully.

Body language as powered up by external stimuli is a very powerful thing for your game.

This is from last year, but these are some of the best tailors in the world. (Notice how old most of them are..)  These suits range between 4,000 and 10,000 dollars on average.

Before you go break your piggy bank, look at the suits on the mannequins.  If you have an eye for this sort of thing, they look great.  But if you don’t have an eye for this sort of stuff, they basically look all the same.

Boring Suits

Look at these guys.  Does any chick really want to bang them based on the suit?

I guess a few might really like the way that they hold their umbrellas.   You know what they say about a man with a big umbrella right?

A bad ass in a suit

Now look at this pimp right chea.

Is it the suit that makes him look like a boss?  There’s a guy behind him in a suit that doesn’t.

Posture, body language, demeanor are what’s important.  More so than the suit.

Going back to the video, when you watch “The  Immortals” walk around, talk to each other, interact with one another – that’s the real suit effect.   Where as the suits on the mannequins…they are cool and all but the clothes do not make the man.

The man makes the clothes.

Rich Dad, Poor Dad? The Player’s Version?

I’ma chill on the whole SMV vs Game debate.  Suffice it to say, if you ask me whether you should spend 10 hours in the gym, or spend Wednesday and Thursdays trying to pick up girls for 8 hours – I’m gonna say hit the night life.

If you’re a developer writing code so some snot nose trust fund kid can cash in – learning to push a girl’s buttons by practicing pushing girl’s buttons is time better spent.

But this does bring up some issues brought up in a post today.

Our society teaches boys that they have to EARN a woman’s attention, attraction, and affection.   Especially if he doesn’t have one of the golden qualities

  • Beautiful Face
  • Height
  • Right Race/Color/Ethnicity/Tribe/Religion
  • Muscles
  • Clothes
  • Money
  • Popularity/Fame
  • Winning Personality

Some of the above you can change quickly.  Some will take forever.  Some require drugs or surgery.   Others require a stroke of luck.

But the way the meta-narrative goes – is that you can’t get the girl unless you have some or all of these qualities.

And for the most part, that’s good for society.  Society needs somebody to quote Reinsurance to big insurance companies.  Society needs a guy who’s an expert on 18th century candle making.   Society needed big strong me to be warriors, hunters, and eventually laborers.

So they pour this bullshit into your mind.  Your parents to do it, your grandparents, extended family, neighbors, friends, school teachers, cops, tv, movies, songs…

And to further motivate the young mind they show young boys that men who do these things, have these things, they get the fame and money…and the women.

Indoctrination at its finest.

So the question came up, how do you raise your sons with game.

I’ve actually faced this in my personal life.  A few younger siblings are at various stages of development and I’m not exactly sure how to broach the subject.

To some extent, telling a high school kid how to get girls on his team seems like a bad idea.  At that age,  you don’t have much self control, you never think anything bad will happen, and you can end up in some serious stuff.  The game really doesn’t get awesome until AFTER college, if you ask me.

But knowing what I went through, and what I see other guys go through – so many of them are wedded to these false promises that society gives them.

Work Hard and Work Out Hard – and the chick will beat a path to your bed.   I thought to myself, only if I try harder, can I get noticed…

But that’s not really what happens at all.

One of the things I struggle here with every single post is trying to define game.   Because to talk about what’s wrong with society’s plans or how to raise a son/deprogram a family member – I need to have a good definition of game.     It’s definitely applied psychology.  It’s definitely bigger than just picking up chicks – but those are broad and intangible ideas.

I often turn back to structures that I think most of you guys get.  Mystery’s A-C-S model is very convenient.  If you knew nothing about Mystery/PUA and went out tried to pick up girls cold – you’d find the exact same things.

You’d see the guys who work out and look great not attracting the girls that are their visual equals.   All of us know a rich guy that throws his money around trying to get people to like him.

A lot of my black readers know tons of ripped dudes and tall guys that should be pulling the local equivalent of Beyonce/Rihanna/Blac Chyna, but instead you see them getting drug by chicks that look like Precious.

And all of that mismatch comes from bad programming.

Specifically these guys don’t

  • Know their own value
  • Know what chicks really respond to.

This is on top of the biological need to plant seed that makes you blind to faces.

So when you’re raising a young’un those are the top two things you need to teach him from early on.

Of course “I’m black and i’m proud” and “I’m Vietnamese and i’m beautiful” …and all that type of stuff.   There’s a fair amount of racial programming that goes on in our society, some of it is by stereotype and other times it’s by not being represented…  We’ll get into that later.

But when your boy gets caught up with one of these little strumpets, and she’s having him drive her around and do all this stuff for her – all for the whiff of some vajajay – that’s a boy that doesn’t know his worth.

You have to fuck a fair amount of chicks to devalue pussy, let’s be honest.   But it doesn’t take long to figure out that you’re getting used.

So if Archibald Westmoreland had a son, Chesterfield Rakim Westmoreland. – Rakim is going to see Archie handle himself.

So this is called Rich Dad, Poor Dad because the great thing about this book, which Malcolm Gladwell also explored in one of his books – is that parents can explicitly teach children life lessons.

In Gladwell’s book, poor parents that took their children to the doctor never asked the doctor questions, and they never let the children ask the doctors questions.  By contrast, well-to-do parents not only asked the doctor about the treatments prescribed, they made their children come up with questions to ask the doctors.   They built this into their children to be able to talk to authority.

Kiyosaki, in Rich Dad, has all these lessons where his own father, Poor Dad – got all these degrees, and kept trying to climb the ladder that society set up.  Where as Rich Dad, his best friends father, was a business man.  One of the lessons that stands out is he hired the two boys to do some terrible work and paid them next to nothing to do it.  I think it was moving old boxes of comic books.  They were so angry and fed up….and they quit.    While they were gonna tell the old man the news, one of his real employees walked in and had to basically grovel for some money.  After the employee left, the boys demanded a raise or they were gonna quit.  So Dad fired them. Then he explained why his real employee was always broke, and that paying him more wouldn’t help him. (I might be jumbling this up. sure some of you have read this thing, it’s been out for like 20 years)

The real employee worked for his money.  He couldn’t really do much to raise his pay.   But Rich Dad was able to leverage that employee’s work and raise Rich Dad’s pay.   The real money wasn’t in working for someone else.  The real money was in capital.  And having a workforce at your disposal was capital.  (Might be some other lesson, but go with me)

As the father to a would be player – you essentially have to deprogram your son.

They tell you that women respond to money and muscles, but the guys that are really out there making it happen aren’t all rich buff guys.   Some are to be fair. If you hold everything constant, that’s what girls choose on their own.  That’s what they’ve been programmed to choose.  They really don’t know any better.   They feel things for other guys, but they really don’t know how to express what it is they feel. So they too reach for tangibles, like height and snappy dresser.

And if you ever bang a Doctor’s wife, you’ll find that she got married to a rich man that’s never home.   And she’d trade the wealth for someone to be there.   The lifestyle doesn’t make her feel like she thought it would – but she’s put on the golden handcuffs and until she figures out how to live on half – she’s stuck.    And the doctor will be clueless.

The father of a young player teaches his son through example that what people say they want is one thing, but what they actually respond to is something else.   This applies throughout life, but especially to girls.

The blog is young still.  So maybe if I ever cross that path myself, I’ll explain what I’m doing.

-Archie