Patrice had Game, so fucking chicks in Brazil didn’t hurt him. A lot of other guys don’t have game, aren’t even aware of game, and it basically destroys them.
Why am I even talking about this?
Stemming from the last post, I maintain that overwork is the worst thing that can happen to your game. I did mention that Prostitution wasn’t as bad as overwork.
God damned P Word. I totally understand why forums ban any discussion of P4P. You can’t even make reference to it, not even as an aside.
P4P brings out the worst in regular dudes, and also attracts the worst kind of dudes.
Mongers are worse than “blue pill betas”. In my mind, they’re worse than the Red Pill Mouth Breathers. You sort of need to get to a higher level of game to understand why these guys are bad, but P4P sucks the air out of the room. It’s like those guys who are constantly stressing MONEY vs BITCHES. At least in that debate, you can mention opportunity cost to shut those guys up – but a contingent of them are always on some bullshit like “You’re always paying, no matter what”
But y’all know that I already hate this whole cadre of guys. I ban them from my site and don’t interact with them on other sites. Fuck those dudes.
So back to the question about what prostitution does to your game, and it not being as bad as overwork – we get to the curious case of Patrice O’Neal.
From a “spitting game to chicks but also keeping your self respect” p.o.v – which is the basic default philosophy of the Black Man’s Game – Patrice is our patron saint. Him and Dante dispensed some of the greatest player insight in recent years. They weren’t deep in the pimp game like say Chester Himes or Donald Goines. That level of game is overkill for those of us who just want to hang out with a chick for a few nights. Patrice aka Black Phillip – hits guys with the right level of mindset so that they can then think differently and make behavioral changes.
That is the key to game.
You think differently about something. You then can feel differently about it. The emotions take over the rest of your body language in the short term, and in the long term your overall behavior with respect to some aspects in your life change.
Guys understand why going out on a regular basis is important. You want to build up “reference” experiences. Tangible things you can remember to avoid, and things you can remember to pursue.
Journaling (better than blogging imo) helps you to think about those things in a more crystalline way, and returning to your old writings allows you to reflect and correct.
So that’s part of what Patrice offered.
And he did so in two ways. The lesser effective way is just breaking down the situation. The more effective way is through narrative. By telling stories from his life, things that have a beginning, middle and end…a premise, a conflict, a resolution – he can teach better.
A few stories stick out in my mind with Patrice.
The one about his girl at the time asking him which side of the bed he likes to sleep on, in order to manipulate him into giving her his side is a great one. To paraphrase
Girl – “What side of the bed do you like to sleep on?”
Patrice – “The right side”
Girl “But if you sleep there, i can’t watch TV”
Patrice then breaks down the situation where the woman essentially knew where he slept, and where she wanted to sleep, but didn’t want to create a situation where she would have to ask a plain question and risk him saying no to her. This sort of manipulation is “game”, but it’s bad game. If the person feels like they’re being manipulated, then it fails.
That was an epiphany for me, and I started to see my girl at the time, do all sorts of “face saving/ego protection manipulation of me all the time.
Now, before you in-the-closet Red Pill Mouth Breathers start to rail off on “these broads” – My chick wasn’t some conscious operator moving pieces on a chess board. In our culture, women are taught how to do this. Not to get all Ed Kempner, but when you lack physical strength to get what you want, you use other strengths.
But Patrice had some other stories that stuck with me.
I think you know the one,his Brazil adventures.
Starts @ 1:18 – This is a brilliant rant. Can’t stand the chicks the broads in this. But he tell us that Brazil turned him into a super hero.
In this one, he actually explains what happened in Brazil.
This is a great little tidbit on top notch girl game. A chick can get far more out of a man by letting him tap into his “natural” desire to provide for him.
He’s bragging about flying into Brazil to bang 3rd world hookers. Not only brag, but try to get other guys to go on what are essentially whoremonger trips.
In general, outright trading money for P, in the West, destroys your ego. Often guys who resort to pro’s – their egos are destroyed and their self esteems as well. I’m not exactly sure why guys think prostitution is worse for your game than pornography – but that’s the basic rule in the community.
Get with a paid whore and lose your mojo.
That’s why overwork is worse.
YaReally used to talk about this in terms of player motivation.
There are guys that are in it for the thrill of the chase (TOTC). The journey is the reward.
And then there are guys that are in it for the pleasure of sex. The end point of the journey is the reward.
Guess who’s nascent game gets hurt by prostitution? The TOTC type guys.
I’ve mentioned on the forum, some of the naturals I came up with or met later in life – we’re not using game because they enjoyed turning a stranger into a lover – some of them were very much addicted to sex. So regular girl or hooker – it didn’t matter. Ugly or fat, no difference. Keep banging the same chick, that’s fine, as long as they got theirs. They didn’t need variety, they didn’t like the “turn”, they just wanted to put P into V. The hunger was always there, and ever consuming. These men were basically slaves to their desires, and I don’t mean that in a good way. Addicts.
If they got an escort on Tuesday, they could still sweet talk the next chick on Wednesday. They still had the mentality, still knew the steps, still could read the women, still had the desire to go through the process – because they could get what they wanted at the end.
The square who doesn’t even know about game, or the new guy struggling with game goes to an escort – and he realizes how much easier it is to just fork over a credit card and have some porn star look alike giving him the girlfriend experience – and he’ll never try to pull a regular woman again. Or so he thinks.
There was a post on the newb board from a virgin who wanted to fly to the Philippines and get a hooker. Sure he’ll get laid. He could do the same in the states. There are devices that he can use on himself that will simulate the act – why even fly?
But veterans of the game understand that for most of us – this isn’t about P into V. We aren’t sex addicts. It’s not just that convenience store nachos aren’t a replacement for learning how to cook.
It’s that at the core of a lot of guys getting into game – they’re egos need to be validated. That doesn’t come through trading money for sex – but taking a beautiful stranger, interacting with her, and having her genuinely like them.
It’s the affirmation of self, I am important, I matter, I am sexy, I am worthy.
The usual suspects
- Is it porn? No
- Visiting Prostitutes? No
- Get into a relationship? No.
- Get dumped? No.
- Get Married? No.
- Have Kids? No.
- Get divorced? No.
- Drugs and Alcohol? No
- Moving to a military base or an Oil Field? No, but that’s up there.
- Leaning on your money and lavish lifestyle to attract girls? Getting close, but no.
The absolute worst thing you can do to your game is
WORK TOO DAMN MUCH.
I usually am between 40-50 hours, but I’ve chosen to bump back up to 60-70 hours per week.
I remember the first time I traded my free time for additional dollars. It didn’t go well. In theory I could run through some of the staffers in nearby buildings, but after being on my feet 6 days a week and yapping at contractors – I have no energy to talk to chicks.
So that’s what happened to the blog for the past 2 weeks.
Aside from that, I’ve been writing the book in the morning, more like rewriting, and rethinking. But the progress is steady. No George RR Martin over here.
Back to the work thing
When you don’t have energy
When the work takes time out of your day
Your ready game is diminished.
It’s getting colder here in the Northern Hemisphere so Fall/Winter is a good time to step up your work out game as well as your stack money efforts – but there is definitely a cost.
Work is about to ramp back up, so I’m going to try a different style of posting.
These are my notes form them RSD boys on social media.
So you don’t have to watch the whole thing. (Arch did that, so hopefully you don’t have to do that)
Why Social Media Game?
These guys don’t answer the exact question – but let’s just go through this a bit before we get to the nitty gritty.
The game that I push – is using applied psychology in one-on-one or group interactions OFFLINE. In short, I talk my way into good situations. To learn this stuff, you need a decent model of how people think and behave in most situations. You also need reference experiences.
A non-game example would be selling Girl Scout Cookies outside of a Marijuana Dispensary. I know that people that like to smoke weed, also get the munchies. So if I go to where people are buying weed, I can make some sales versus just offering cookies on the side of some random road.
I see street hustlers carry umbrellas in their inventory on a daily basis. They cost 5 dollars when it’s sunny, and 10 dollar when it’s raining.
This is understanding human psychology. There is a reason that the baker keeps his doors open, even though changing the humidity in his shop can change how the bread rises. That smell of fresh baked bread brings in people who want to suddenly now want a croissant.
In all 3 of these advantages, the people are using what they know about people and their particular habits, and giving other people OPTIONS to act on those habits. They apply psychology to do so. This is the basis of all business, all politics, and arguably most other spheres in life.
So right now, the advanced countries are marching towards being digital citizens. Everything that’s important to them, is now online. In a sense, it’s not really “real”, but in another sense – it’s very real. Business people are making BILLIONS of dollars in real cash money because they can attract eyeballs and likes.
Now just cause you catch a like, or grab an email, doesn’t mean much in and of itself – but just like the Girl Scout outside of the Dispensary – we want to put ourselves in places where girls are and grab their attention.
The girl scout can obviously put her little table anywhere, and anyone who passes by can purchase a box of cookies. But, if she puts herself in a place with likely buyers – she can sell more cookies.
That’s why modern day players are going online. Instead of being outside of a weed shop, their pictures are on the phones of thousands of girls – because that’s where the attention of girls ARE.
The point of Social Media Game is putting ourselves where the girls are.
So how do these guys break it down?
Closing is simple
How hard is to get her to follow you and to follow her? Easy.
The phone # has connotations. Luke and Max argue that even though you’re gonna hit her with text based messages, for whatever reason it’s better when it comes through an app rather than through SMS.
After you get the contact, then what?
Outsourcing and Automation of Messaging Girls
To promote a party, Luke (the big dude) outsourced his messaging to Indian virtual assistants. The strategy was to start with a core group of girls, and then expand to a non-core group by having their VA’s send messages.
To bring girls into his actual life for the purpose of promoting his business – Max used his personal assistant. The assistant would target girls by location and send messages to those girls for social media mentoring, parties, and appearances. So an “opener” is sent, and when the girl responds with questions – they send answers. Initially, he had to do this himself, but after a while – most of these girls would ask the same questions and require the same answers to get them out. They then created a spreadsheet so that his VA could handle the whole process. (This is exactly what Tim Ferriss did in the Four Hour Work Week).
What to Do with these Chicks
Max doesn’t claim to bang these particular chicks based off of this, that would be too Harvey Weinstein. But he’s now creating social proof and sexual-preselection with this initial investment. It’s very much like Dan Bilzerian. Maybe he paid those first set of chicks to hang out with him (not cash money, but access to his lifestyle) – and once publicized – other girls want to get in on the fun.
Max would then invite these chicks to a weekly party. For you guys with a fat crib – this is a good way to advertise either a lifestyle game or a provider game.
Hidden Advantage of Systematic Outreach – Ego Protection
It’s no secret that online dating is tough for a man, and tougher for a man of color, especially if he wants to cross boundaries. For the most part, women find 80% of the men to be below average. And many women can be a racist as they want to be when it’s just swiping left and right. (Not saying that they can’t be, it’s not like their yelling Japanese Supremacy when they ignore your DM’s. But there’s a socially conditioned anti-response to curiousity, often built into the apps)
So it can be quite demoralizing to put your nice dating profile up, and get no hits and no messages. If you’re sending messages yourself, 2 out of 100 responses can just kill you.
By outsourcing selection and messaging to a VA – where Max he only says yes or no, after the date is scheduled – he no longer deals with the hundreds of no’s and radio silence. How much more positive is he about women? About himself?
A lot of game lit is about, dealing with rejection, pushing through it. A lot of students are always looking for “baby steps” to preserve their ego. This is one of the rare times I say that guys need to compromise. Avoid the online rejection when you can, and deal with the OFFLINE rejection.
The Dreaded Numbers Game
I know that off line game is about skill, not randomly talking to large #’s of women with the hope that one of them chicks understands you. Game isn’t a lock, but almost every institution in society is able to grab a big chunk of folks by understanding how they think.
So per Luke – social media is a #’s game. My interpretation is that with social media – the player has limited tools. He has his image and his words to just send out – but he can’t tailor that on the fly to specific girls like he can live and in person.
With that in mind, Luke advises that you should not waste the time with custom messages
Max agrees with Luke and applies an internet business idea known as split testing, or A/B testing. Create two messages about the same thing, and send to 50 girls. If there’s a clear winner between A and B, use A. And you can keep repeating this by changing the message, until you find a great one.
This has been explored in various books that hack OkCupid. A man’s images are split tested on “Hot or Not”, and his profile is generated by creating multiple profiles and sending bots to hot girls.
The Goal of Social Media Contacts in a Game Context
Max says his goal with social media game is not to get her convinced to sleep with him via direct messages and text, but only to hang out.
It begs the question, can this be done? I submit that it can, because I’ve done it, but it’s a slow boil.
However, if you can build a wee bit of attraction and a whole lot of trust – getting a girl to agree (and actually come out) is way easier. For us veterans, this is actually preferable than pulling a Netflix and Chill off Tinder – because some of these chicks might be cute, but not actually good people.
How do you build trust through social media?
It’s been said that the game is won through comfort. Lemme explain that a bit.
So you’re out at the club, getting your little dance on. A young Beyonce is feeling your vibe, and the rest of Destiny’s Children ain’t hating for once. She’s got her arms around your neck, looking up into your eyes, and the vibe is right for you to make that physical connection.
At this moment, her attraction to the player is at least a 6 on the 10 scale. And if you go out enough, getting that dancefloor make out is much easier than you initially thought. You start to realize that girls do find you attractive, and her being hostile and indifferent can change to her being warm and amorous within 15-30 minutes.
What would it take to go from smooching on the dancefloor, to smooching at your place while watching Love Jones?
Trust. She has to trust you. She has to trust that you won’t hurt her, won’t embarrass her, that you won’t her friends.
Offline, how do we establish that?
We befriend her friends. We introduce her to people we know. We interact with 3rd parties. When we touch, we don’t linger, we don’t try to “possess her”. We let go before it becomes uncomfortable. At the slightest sense of her being uncomfortable with contact, we stop.
So the message we send is that this very attractive guy can read her body language and reactions – so she doesn’t need to tell him to stop.
“He just knows, he gets it”
Offline – she sees how you behave towards her and towards others. This doesn’t mean your “safe” like some suburban guy in middle management – but you’re not crazy and unpredictable like the homeless guy that lurches toward her aggressively begging. (unsafe)
She gets to see who you are, a thin slice. You spent 5-10 minutes heating her up enough to be kissed, but 90 minutes creating enough trust that she’s comfortable leaving the bar with you to go to your place to bake a cake. (shout out to Mufasa!)
With social media – through pictures you can convey the same and more.
Social media can build a bit of attraction (via her wanting to have the fun you’re having in the photos, not necessarily to you being stud muffin) and a whole lot of trust.
In terms of other guys – the player who is actively cultivating his social media is also doing far more than other guys.
RSD Max basically says that social media creates attraction and it demonstrates high value. (We can talk about DHV, but this is a bastardization of the concept to some extent)
And instead of reading other people’s status, you’re creating content.
What does Max do?
- He goes to gym? Documents
- Good meal? Documents
- Beautiful place with a nice view? Documents
- On a Date, out with Friends? Documents
Max’s goal is to show that he’s outgoing and has fun. So he might just do a snapchat of him in traffic singing to one of his favorite songs. That’s his angle.
He posts as much as possible, but at the same time he wants every post to be novel. He also uses clickbait text to get people to click on his posts. He noticed that with a lot of people doing this on Snapchat/Instagram Stories – it’s talking heads and folks get bored. So he aims to engage. Straight out of Nir Eyal’s Hooked.
In the past, Luke has actually said that he generates Fear Of Missing Out by doing cool things. So he actively looks for opportunities, rather than passively documenting his life.
Guys Crying about Authenticity and Skepticism
Both of them address the naysayers who say it’s all about authenticity and organic connection.
Q – Archie, what if every guy starts doing this? Won’t the “trick” stop working?
A. The skeptic extrapolates over the whole male population – but most guys aren’t taking action AND there’s not a scarce resource of women at all.
We’re 10 years into the “Dating Apocalypse” (smartphones in 2007 + social media + dating sites + all of the other social ills).
Time is now.
This will be an ongoing discussion
This entire blog is about indirect game (pua/mm) and drawing in traditional game concepts (as in black man’s game, mack game, hustler game, pimp game) as well as how applied psychology works in other areas of life (leadership, sales, and advertising).
If you’re a guy that’s new to the game, and has never really explored or been attracted to direct game – the reason for indirect/applied psychology game is not very clear.
I mean indirect game makes sense in an intellectual way, but that fire to really work on your indirect game comes from giving direct game a try.
A lot of cerebral, smart, introverted guys are attracted to the things I talk about – because – it seems like they can basically learn some spells, hit the club, say the magic words, and in 2 hours they’re giving the chicks the Prince Yashua. (don’t google that name at work, Ladies. Because the fellas know who I’m talking about)
Indirect game has this false promise of not putting your ego at risk, and basically deploying your analytical skills in the art of meeting women.
Indirect game gives you an excuse not to be social – to stay the same person.
So within this paradigm – the new player stays basically the same, a guy who is not really that social.
Which is why DIRECT game is the medicine that he needs.
The new player needs to put himself out there, be aggressive, close as much as possible, put his ego at risk, put his precious self image out there for all to dissect…
What direct did for me was a few things
It unleashed the lion
To a large extent the “game” I thought I was running was placebo. I was getting success – not because I was really orchestrating subtle moves – but mostly because I was seriously interacting. I went from the classic INTJ introvert to a guy that could be extroverted.
Introversion doesn’t mean shy – it means that you find social interactions draining. Extroverts on the other hand are “anti-fragile”. The chaos of socializing makes them better. And although most people rate themselves as extroverts – if you’re at a party – you can point out who the life of a party is. Handful of people among dozens.
And once you take the chains off, once you put your toes in the water, what happens is that the existential fear disappears.
You get to breathe. Often times, a quick little make over, 1 or 2 opening lines, and a guy is well on his way. He can get the dates, he can talk to the cute girls, he might even get a shot at one of the chicks he dreams about.
It’s really only until you’ve seen what direct game has to offer, that you understand the value of indirect game.
Direct game is showing up, letting the world know that you’re ready, and getting to the point with the girls you meet. There is little doubt in her mind what you are about.
Now the way Direct Game Guys present this – if you are basically honest with the chick on wanting to have a sped up sexual encounter – she’s relieved and sometimes finds your honest approach refreshing.
As a veteran, I can tell you that shaking what your Daddy gave you at a chick RARELY nets you the result that you want. Most chicks do not respond to that unless it’s dark, she’s drunk, and you’re hot.
Whether you want to or not – Direct Game leads you to value DISCRETION.
Direct game actually teaches you more about how humans actually behave when presented with opportunities and scenarios than indirect does. The guy that has done direct game, will intuitively understand why after he engages with the chick, he doesn’t just ask her to come home with him.
The woman has both a public face and private needs. She has also publicized things that she wants in a man, and unpublicized ones as well.
So what direct game does for a young player is simple. It’s a quick way to level up in terms of socializing and seeing social cues. Just like a girl will test your boundaries by taking a hat off your head – the man that swings to extroversion and tries to bring the side he shows his close family and friends to complete strangers – he levels up. He is working with a lot more data. He learns quickly how to bring value into an interaction.
He may also learn that expressing his interest before the chick shows her hand is not a tight strategy in comparison to waiting for her to buy in – which is the essence of indirect game. I really think conditional game is a better way to describe what is happening….I digress
You’re new to a city, this is your first few weeks of hitting the night life. You’re going out solo.
But you have something going for you.
Maybe you’re tall
Maybe you’re built
Maybe you’re short (which draws attention that you can flip)
Maybe you’re a stylish dresser
So you leverage your attention by mingling with individuals that like your style.
In the closed and artificial environment of a night club, sometimes people who are less social, who are dying to be more social, not drunk yet – they watch you having a good time with others.
You are seen having a good time.
Other people are seen having a good time with you.
So the way the mind works – you make others have a good time. In less technical speak – you’re the life of the party – the person who has the right emotions and the right ability to transmit those emotions to others – so they loosen up and have a good time.
That’s one aspect of social proof as it applies to the night game.
In practice, I talk to one group of 3 people about a topic of the day. Mary J Blige’s ex husband is suing her for more spousal support because he can’t live on 30,000 a month. You already know how this conversation is going to go. The pro’s and con’s.
There will be another group of people next to me, i’ll try my best to do this
1) start a debate between me and group #1
2) bring in group #2 to decide.
And now that we’re all in a conversation – i’ll introduce group #1 to group #2.
So that’s the practical.
Group #2 thinks I’m social because they watched me interact with group #1 and themselves.
People across the way, people not involved – sometimes notice that a discussion is being had. They can’t hear the conversation, but they can see the reactions.
If I cross the dance floor and chat up the next set of people
How do I know if they saw me kill it with the first two groups?
If they didn’t see me – do I have a social proof?
If I walk in with a stunner on my arm, but she goes to the powder room – does the next chick to look in my direction notice my pre-selection?
If a tree falls in the forest….
So the mechanism of social proof, in the night game context, is whether people see you being social.
If they don’t see you being social, you have no social proof.
If we were to graph his over time – if you keep going to the same spots – you’ll see that a good # of people also go the same time you do – so your “social capital” will build with them. They see you chat up 5 groups of people over 6 weeks – but you haven’t talked to them – they’ll give you social proof benefit when you show up by yourself and not talking to anyone. We’ve talked about this pseudo-social circle that exists in a club that can be made real through interaction in and outside of the club.
If people don’t see you – is there any in the moment benefit?
Yes there is.
Interacting with people gets you social – so that energy carries over to the next interaction.
And building up that reservoir over time – makes it easy to get into that first conversation
These benefits of socializing are not social proof, but they are internal benefits that affect your in-person game.
Pre-Selection is even better.
So the typical pre-selection scenario is that you come to a venue with a cuties or some cuties. People recognize that you’re a guy with chicks. Other chicks see you with your women, and just rank you higher – especially if the chicks you’re with give you good reactions and favorable body language. If you show up with a model and it looks like she doesn’t want anything to do with you (it can look pathetic, but you can spin it ) – that’s not as good as having a cute chick eating up whatever you’re selling.
So that’s the external benefit.
But if you’re used to having women, beautiful women in your life, you take that with you when she’s not on your arm.
You see guys do a lot of Number creep. A chick that was a 8 when they started, becomes a 6 – because beauty is common. Then it becomes an ego stroke fest in some guys who have unhealthy attitudes about women and poor self esteem themselves. The only girl that is not enough for them, are ones that don’t want to do anything with them. For those guys, they need a supermodel – which is a social marker more than some objective thing – in order to feel like they’re worthy. But they get the chick, she doesn’t make him feel like he thought he would feel – and now both of them have a problem.
For guys with healthy mindsets, imo, a nice external appearance is a given – so that looks are not enough.
That immunity to make up allows them to interact with very beautiful women as human beings.
She’s no longer a thing to be possessed. She’s just a person with somewhat symmetrical facial features and pleasing amounts of body fat well distributed.
The proverbial strip club owner has seen it all and has demystified the feminine mystique. He now looks to her personality and behavior. She can’t pull the shit on him that she normally pulls on other guys – because she’s powerless.
So having pre-selection, experience with beautiful women – ends up staying with you – and in the club when you’re spitting your game – you can be as ferocious as you need to with your Jackie Guerrido.
It’s getting cold here in the Northern Hemisphere.
You know what that means! Style up!
So let’s recap where we were just 2 months ago
Bright colors, big designs, short sleeves, no sleeves – that’s basically how you do summer.
MESSAGE – GET ON YOUR WORK OUT HEAVY
But now that it’s getting a little bit nippy, it’s time to refine the garments.
The best thing about cold weather for the good looking player is that you get to add a few things to your arsenal.
You can spend a million on these things, but the leather jacket is a classic.
It’s clever to wear your leather in the winter
Jackets are the move.
This is a simple set up.
Maybe swap out the white sneakers for something else, but a suede bomber and some pants.
Me? I lean towards sweaters
For my professional brothers
So what we have here
- Jacket that looks a smidge tighter than most guys would wear it
- Watch that say slook at me. Pay no attention to the collar pin.
- Pocket square complementing the tie
- Essentially solid tie with visible texture. (ooh grain)
But most of all, the scarf is what gives you that touch of “class”. Keep in mind, this is not actually a good way to wear a scarf if you want to be warm. But taking a note from our counterparts – comfort is often traded for style.
The scarf is both an accessory and a layer. When it’s cold, you can get away with layering.
This is a Hi-Tech layer over a traditional suit.
Looks like a blazer and some pants. He’s got on too much jewelry for my tastes, but that’s the exact sort of thing that catches a chick’s eye and gives her a reason to talk to you. The tie needs a dimple, but like the last one – it has visual texture. It may be wool, could be linen, I can’t really tell from here. Tie clip is cool, but the not is actually too big for the collar.
It’s a solid look. Keep in mind what makes the jacket stand out so much is that it doesn’t actually blend in well with the other colors. But it’s also not hazard orange like I would buy, lol.
J. Crew Level Layering
This looks like a t-shirt, with a denim “shacket” – shirt/jacket, under a wool blazer. This doesn’t look comfortable at all – but one of the rules of style is that you trade comfort for attention.
Accessories doing a lot of the work
If it’s actually cold, neither the scarf nor the gloves are doing any work. This type of get up is sure to annoy the more manly among you, but it’s just the sort of oddness that sticks a chick’s craw.
Doing too Much
Unless you’re the CEO of a fashion house…
- Wearing his top coat like a cape
- The gloves pretending to be a pocket square
- Vestigal scarf
- The glasses
- Yes that’s a big pocket square
- The damn turtleneck
I wouldn’t try this, but by looking at all the elements, you can see what the stylist is trying to achieve.
There are some things that you need to be like my man HwuzHere
As it gets colder though, you’re going to want to step your protection game up.
This is going a little bit far.
We’ll get into deeper winter weather in the next post on the topic.
Sup with the grooming though?
Wolf Out when it gets cold
So by the time spring rolls back around you can do this.
Given that it’s getting cold, don’t be like your boy
Watching Mindhunter on Netflix, the story about how behavioral profiling became a “thing” at the FBI. Cop shows are generally good because they often show interrogation. If you know what to look for – you can see how coercive everything is, and learn to eliminate that sort of thing from your game. And there was actually some game dropped, which we’ll get to later.
But in the current climate, I gotta get this off my chest first.
Probably the scariest dude on the show is this guy. Ed Kemper.
“Women are born with this little hole between their legs which every man on earth just wants to stick something into, and they’re weaker than men so they learn strategies,”
“They deploy their minds, and their sex, and they intuitively learn to humiliate.”
“If a woman humiliates her little boy, he will become hostile and violent and debased, period.”
CHILLING. Obviously the show is not going to be kind to women given the subject, but there is a whole lot of unvarnished crazy. A lot of the dialogue from the killers was taken verbatim from interviews and legal proceedings.
DOUBLE CHILLING is that I’ve seen this sort of anti-female sentiment in comment sections and blogs. You log on to your favorite dating tips site, and some erudite guy says something that starts out plausible
“Women are different than us”
Sure, no problems with that. Them being different is half of the fun!
But then the author goes wildly left and connecting dots that turn women into some sort of eternal enemy.
So on to nicer topics,
In episode 2, the main character, Holden and his girlfriend, Debbie – they’re in a diner getting dinner. Holden has just come back from his first interview with Kemper.
Debbie – You’ve got mention-itis. [one itis!]
You cannot stop mentioning him.
Holden – Think of how much we can learn from a guy like Kemper.
Holden – He called it a vocation.
Debbie – Killing women?
Holden – Yeah.
Debbie – Jesus.
Debbie – How do you wrap your mind around that?
Holden – Couldn’t attract them. Didn’t have the social skills.
Debbie – That would describe a lot of guys.
Holden – Why does he hate women? I should ask.
Debbie – But not outright.
Holden – No?
Debbie – He sounds like the kind of person who would tell you what you wanna hear.
Debbie – You have to disarm him first.
Holden – You mean, like – What?
Debbie – Ask him questions about himself.
Debbie – Lean into him, listen intently.
Holden – I do that.
Debbie – Keep your arms uncrossed.
Debbie – Mirror his movements.
Debbie – Encourage him to talk about the things he’s excited about.
Holden – Are these feminine wiles?
Debbie – Cross your legs in his direction.
Holden – Do you really do that?
Debbie – But don’t touch him.
Debbie – You want him to like you, but you don’t want him to think you’re gonna fuck him.
Debbie – [LAUGHING] Look at your face.
Now this is great game, but it’s great GIRL game.
Ask yourself this question, have you done this with a girl before? Take an interest in her and encourage her to talk?
She puts you in the friend zone before you can get a bid in.
This is comfort game. This rapport game.
If you lead with this, she’s just gonna be comfortable talking about stuff with you – she gets her intimacy – but she doesn’t given up anything.
All in all this is a decent series just for the game/relationship aspects.
You could critique this movie from lots of angles. I’m sure this and Twin Peaks will be the Reddit fodder for years to come. Lighting, costume design, practical effects, low cgi, cinematography were all top notch. The themes, logic, scientific, technological and political implications are just being uncovered in the blogs and youtube reviews.
I want to talk about Joi though. This is a blog about game not science fiction.
Joi is complicated. So current technology like Siri and Alexa actually help you to accomplish your day to day tasks. Keep track of your calendar, tell you what the weather is, when to pay your bills. To make it more human (and possibly SEXIST) these helpers are almost always female. Of course you change the voices – but those Sexist Pigs in Silicon Valley want a woman waiting on them hand and foot!
Now in the game community, we know a lot of those guys might be sexist, but more often than not, they’re sex-less. They don’t have very good and constructive contact with the opposite sex. So they imagine these ideal women and then create for lack a of better term, “Female Constructs”.
This is created in this movie. Interestingly enough, Ryan Gosling’s character, an Android/Cyborg/Bioroid cooks and cleans for himself. He seems to be on top of his game in terms of keeping track of his agenda.
He has his 2049 Holographic Siri for other reasons. A bit like HER by Spike Jonze, you’ve got a robot falling in love with an AI. And she’s been programmed to ….to be everything a man would ever desire in a woman – when he has every thing sorted out.
So let’s look at the first scene. K (Gosling’s Character) comes home from a pretty rough day at work
K – “I had an accident at work…I tore my shirt”
Joi (Off screen) – “I’m sure I can fix that for you, lemme take a look at it”
K- “You want a drink first?”
Joi – “Pour me one, will you?”
K – *pours to glasses of a clear liquor*
Joi – (As K is putting down a meal on the table, glass noodles and something futurish) – “I’m trying a new recipe, I just need bit more practice.”
As K sits down to eat, a bowl already in front of him, Joi’s voice – “It won’t be much longer, I’m just putting on the finishing touches.”
Joi (Sweetly) – “Okay, It’s ready. I hope you’re gonna like it.”
Joi appears – she’s a hologram carrying holographic tray. The tray she overlays the physical food he’s going to eat – is far more appetizing.
Joi – Bon Appetit – *and she kisses his cheek*
It’s an idealized wife from an idealized version of yesteryear.
Ana/Joi’s slight accent reminds me of Lucille Ball, having done something wrong, makes a special meal for Desi.
As a piece of game – it’s obvious how this program makes him feel – but also how the (male) audience would feel. Wish fulfillment. A woman that doesn’t complain, wants to fix your torn shirt, makes you a meal, kisses you on the cheek, is glad that you’re there. Although Ana/Joi is very beautiful – this isn’t a sexual sort of thing.
Later on, K brings Ana a gift. It’s a gift that she’s grateful for. (Although arguably, given that she is a program – this could be an insidious way of the corporate masters asking him to buy the upgrade…)
The movie’s script/in universe programming has her happy for the gift, but then unsure about it, and then embracing it fully.
And in the world of quid pro quo – she eventually makes it possible for her holographic self to give him what is essentially unimaginable.
Her entire character and her story arc are marvels in manipulation of typical masculine desires.
But there’s actually more game in the movie.
Jared Leto plays the Big Bad in the movie. And the Big Bad always has to have a henchman. This henchman is a strong woman, Luv. Luv has a few lines about seduction and hits upon this key insight.
“We want someone to ask us questions, it makes us feel desired”
My overall take on this movie is that it’s great…if you like Blade Runner and you like slower Science Fiction. I was a little surprised that it actually included some game.
Hate to be all ripped from the headlines, but
Lucia Stoller, now Lucia Evans, was approached by Weinstein at Cipriani Upstairs, a club in New York, in 2004, the summer before her senior year at Middlebury College. Evans wanted to be an actress, and although she had heard rumors about Weinstein she let him have her number. Weinstein began calling her late at night, or having an assistant call her, asking to meet. She declined, but said that she would do readings during the day for a casting executive. Before long, an assistant called to set up a daytime meeting at the Miramax office, in Tribeca, first with Weinstein and then with a casting executive, who was a woman. “I was, like, ‘Oh, a woman, great, I feel safe,’ ” Evans said.
Now I know some of you mouth breathers are gonna be like, “She tried to play the game, but she got played” – but that misses the point.
Weinstein was a starmaker. But rather than dangle the carrot – he decided to use the stick. Incessant calling of some college co-ed. He’d rather coerce than entice.
When Evans arrived for the meeting, the building was full of people. She was led to an office with exercise equipment and takeout boxes on the floor, where she met with Weinstein alone. Evans said that she found him frightening. “The type of control he exerted, it was very real,” she told me. “Even just his presence was intimidating.”
Her subjective feelings are her own, I won’t speak for her – but the entire set up is akin to putting some teenager in a room with a grizzled homicide detective. Force of will + environment = bad result
In the meeting, Evans recalled, “he immediately was simultaneously flattering me and demeaning me and making me feel bad about myself.” Weinstein told her that she’d “be great in ‘Project Runway’ ”—the show, which Weinstein helped produce, premièred later that year—but only if she lost weight
So on top of the coercive environment, his power over her career, he still makes it worse.
I’ll let you read the rest – but this is a perfect example of what not to do if you’re a rich and powerful celebrity.
Remember Billy C?
Here’s how him and Lewinsky got down, per CNN
November 1995: Lewinsky and President Bill Clinton begin a sexual relationship, according to audiotapes secretly recorded later by Linda Tripp.
December 1995: Lewinsky moves into a paid position in the Office of Legislative Affairs, handling letters from members of Congress. She frequently ferries mail to the Oval Office.
April 1996: Then-Deputy White House Chief of Staff Evelyn Lieberman transfers Lewinsky to a job as an assistant to Pentagon spokesman Ken Bacon. Lieberman told The New York Times the move was due to “inappropriate and immature behavior” and inattention to work. At the Pentagon, Lewinsky meets Tripp, a career government worker.
Summer 1996: Lewinsky begins to tell fellow Pentagon employee Linda Tripp of her alleged relationship with Clinton.
There are more details just on the CNN site – but this is a family blog!
My man Kevin Hart. Some random chick gets involved with him and gets extorted because he has something to lose.
These guys are using the fame, power, wealth (more so the fame and power) to either coerce their way into something, take advantage of a situation, or get involved with people not understanding the blowback.
Now let’s look at another highly desirable public figure. My man Derek Jeter. (he’s a badminton player right?)
“Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets them a car to take them home the next day. Waiting in his car is a gift basket containing signed Jeter memorabilia, usually a signed baseball,” the friend dished.
“This summer, he ended up hooking up with a girl who he had hooked up with once before, but Jeter seemed to have forgotten about the first time and gave her the same identical parting gift, a gift basket with a signed Derek Jeter baseball,” the pal said.
Derek is now married, but when he was single – HE WAS READY TO MINGLE. He ain’t promising these chicks a spot on the team. He didn’t have any “leverage” over them other than what he had to offer. They wanted to holla at the boy – he took care of them.
And that’s how you do it.