Re: Constructing The Swipe Opener

[Ed. This a post that I didn’t finish from last year (got about 35)]

Every sentence I write makes me think about you, the reader.

What do  you need to know to come to the same conclusion that I do?

So I have to keep digging deeper to find examples that will click in your mind.

But that’s game.  I’m trying to communicate, express myself, and persuade.  I know from experience (and from work, lol), that breaking down an argument logically is one of the least effective ways to put somebody on your side.

In my process of writing a small game “pamphlet” for you guys to use is the same thing that goes on when you build an opener.

So in the last few weeks, I’ve come across someone else’s opener and modified it, and then also taken my reaction to someone else’s story and turn that into an opener.

The Swipe

I straight jacked this from a guy giving day game coaching sessions, and modified it to what I know about a girl’s social reality.

So a guy is at the mall, he’s walking through courtyard.  He sees a girl he likes.


Now analyzing the reasoning behind the steps.

Step #2 – You have to come at a girl head to head to do this. (that is facing her) Coming from the side or from behind is startling to a girl.  Remember you’re bigger and stronger, and she’s been fed all of this negative information about strange men.

When I devise an opener, I put myself in the girl’s shoes.  If I approach her – what can happen?  What will she be thinking?  In a negative light, and in a positive light?

Step #4 – Why doesn’t the guy say Hello, Hi, or Hey?

The guy doesn’t introduce himself, because that triggers a scripted response.  She goes on autopilot.

We want to stop the girl from going on autopilot and giving us default answers.  When you say “Hi” – she knows what to do to shut you down.  It’s not even conscious.  She’s “triggered”.  She goes on autopilot, the same way you go out autopilot when some dude on the street tries to sell you a mixtape.  (Odd how women respond to similar stimuli just like men)

Step #8 – He doesn’t explain, he lets it dawn on her.

This is what “opens” the chick.

So recap

  1. Put yourself in her shoes when it comes to the approach.
  2. Put yourself in her mind when it comes to what she thinks about, and how she thinks about it – when it comes to the content of what you’re going to say.
  3. Does it show mastery of her world?


3 thoughts on “Re: Constructing The Swipe Opener”

  1. One opener that randomly came to my head while I was at the library is asking two women: “Truth or Dare?”

    I think this would work better in a club environment when you can be more spontaneous.

    The girls will look at each other. Whoever answers is probably the dominant girl.

    If she says “Truth”, maybe you can go into some palm readings and ask her questions about herself. Whatever she says, overreact and say that omg she’s such a liar, i can’t trust anything you say, etc. just make it over the top, but not too crazy. you can even say to the other girl “does she lie to everyone like this?”

    If she says dare…hmm, I dunno. Maybe I’d dare them to squeeze each other.

  2. You probably already know this, but this opener uses similar principles to Milton Erickson’s naturalistic hypnotic inductions.

    Erickson wouldn’t do that “you are getting sleepy’ stuff, he would do something like your “swipe right,” which would confuse the person, get them thinking, shocked out of their auto-pilot response, and then, because no one likes to be confused, he would offer them a ready made direction to go in, exactly like what you are doing in this opener.

    It takes her a moment to snap out of what she is thinking, register some guy is talking to her, register what he says, and then a second to make sense of it, and at that moment, you swoop in, like Erickson, giving her a direction to go in, telling her to swipe right, and it is as much out of relief that the confusion is over as anything else that she complies.

    I think there are a lot of parallels between game and hypnosis, even in the terminology: Like “doggy dinner bowl look” is a kind of a mild trance state that she can easily fall out of if the guy does something incongruent.

    I would be interested in your thoughts on this, if you think that there are similarities between hypnosis and game, and if you think that there is a connection between the two, because consciously or not, they seem to arrive at the same technical solutions sometimes to different problems.

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