This is beyond cliche
I got into a new group of friends that were all about their ‘personal brand.’ Every occasion was started with a good ten minutes of silence while they checked-in to Yelp, Foursquare, snapped photos of the venue / table / food, and tweeted bullshit along the lines of ‘having the time of my life!’ — I spent the time looking for typos and leading errors on the menus. It was exhausting. Everybody was there, but nobody was present. Even the meal itself was dull because of the endless obsession with creating something it wasn’t.
But this is essentially modern life. On the forum, we used to talk about the dating apocalypse
- Broadband Everywhere – internet is fast enough that it keeps you engaged
- Smart Phones – Internet Everywhere
- Social Media – How people connect nowadays
- Dating Sites – How they often date
Each of these things on its own basically has been
distorting changing human relationships. But combined?
You’re new to the game. You’ve been socializing all week in your day to day life. Talking to friends, strangers, shopkeepers and clerks. 5 minutes of sportscenter in the morning to talk to the guys, 5 minutes of TMZ (or The Media Take Out if you prefer black women) – and you’ve got enough pop culture to pepper into a normal conversation. Fresh fade from the barber, new shirt from the clearance rack, and your combination of intermittent fasting, paleo, and ketosis is doing damage to that slight beer belly, posture looking better because you only do three olympic lifts…. You’re primed to spit some game.
You hit up the venue an hour earlier than most and catch some of the early birds to the party. A group of three walks in, one finer the other two, but any of them will do….Step over confidently….got one jewel of an opener you’re about to drop – and then they all get on their phones. Sephora’s latest is now painfully illuminated by AMOLED.
It’s one thing to run up on a chick with her headphones blasting and her sunglasses on – and basically intrude in her living space. Though that behavior shows “entitlement” and “male privilege” – being able to talk to one another is human. You have a right to talk to her, just as she has a right to talk to you, to ignore you, and to keep it moving.
But there’s something about the phone that is different than just general day to day life.
People are pretty much addicted to their phones, so much so that when they are in public spaces – spaces designated for mixing and socializing – their addictions take over.
When you approach a girl who’s face is buried in her phone – you’re competing against digital heroin.
From the Guardian
Justin Rosenstein had tweaked his laptop’s operating system to block Reddit, banned himself from Snapchat, which he compares to heroin, and imposed limits on his use of Facebook. But even that wasn’t enough. In August, the 34-year-old tech executive took a more radical step to restrict his use of social media and other addictive technologies.
I don’t have any tried and true solutions for this.
You can always barge in to her space, you can always basically “break her state” – but the second that you’re not engaging enough, she returns (or drifts away mentally)
This is the modern era.