[Editor – @ crdr – if you’re reading hit me up in the comments]
From a discussion over at Rollo’s
Can you teach game?
In a seminar/class room setting?
Wouldn’t you have to codify the game?
Panic! OMG, the art is going to become a science.
I don’t mind the “codification” so much.
Before Mystery, it was FMAC, find, meet, attract, close.
Mystery was Attract, Comfort, Seduce. And that evolved into routines with the idea of group theory (itself borrowing from their read of evolutionary psychology and my man Robert Cialdini- whom we have not discussed but shall this week). And since then there have been further refinements.
But nowadays the environment has changed. Online game is so important to the market of 18-30 year olds, that just being systematic about profiles, messages, and your date funnel – is likely to garner more “bible study” than hitting the clubs.
So you have this really weird situation where you can get girls to come straight to your apartment through Tinder and Uber for Netflix and Chill – but you don’t actually know what this chick’s personality is like outside of your smartphone interactions.
To me, guys really should follow the recipe to the letter at first.
That’s why they codified the game in the first place. Build a base so you understand how things vary.
Use routines so you understand that a routine statement can get your a bunch of predictable routine responses.
The use of codified/regimented almost robotic game basically demystifies how “complicated” girls are. I say this, she does A, B, or C. I follow up with X,Y,Z, and she only goes in a few directions.
People really aren’t that complicated. But that’s something that we intuitively know, but seem to forget with women.
In American culture we have scripts already.
- “Hello, how are you doing?”
- “Do you want fries with that”
- “Paper or plastic”
- “I just got engaged”
- “My dog just died.
All of us know (or should know) what the responses are from a content perspective and from an emotional one. Just adapting that to meeting girls should be straight forward.
But there are a significant amount of guys that either don’t have basic human socialization skills, or they don’t know how to pay attention to detail. There’s a general lack of self-awareness, and overall empathy with others. The guys that are too sympathetic, they eventually learn to put themselves first for a change. The guys that lack it – only do the minimum.
The Importance of Basic Social Skills..Knowing the Line
After meeting Tyler, it’s clear that he did a shit ton of work on himself – not just spiritually and all that jazz – but learning basic human interactions. He’s hyper attuned to body language shifts and sub-communication. The sort of thing top salesman and good strippers learn how to do. Incidentally, I’m always surprised when the peanut gallery folks say that he doesn’t have a game. Not saying he doesn’t have 99 other problems, but game ain’t one of em.
Even now, I see that Tyler’s Aspie tendencies show if you know what to look for. He likes to “riff” and keep the joke going past when it stops being funny. Like Family Guy in real life, but not meta, more for self-amusement. But that’s him. He’s got 7 figures, runs his own biz, travels the world, and has a ridiculous lay count
On video, Tyler and Julien do a “push it over the line, and then apologize and walk it back” interaction style. That’s a useful training wheel for shy guys, not so much for the Bulls in China shops.
I’m sure they’ve bagged a ton of chicks with that, probably 100’s more than me, but an actual cool guy either knows where the line is, or he doesn’t care where the line is.
I’ve met tons of legit cool dudes. The cool dudes don’t go to places where there is gonna be some bullshit. And the other half really don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks – AND they have enough going on to back it up.
There is a chicken and egg situation with this, obviously. If you come on strong, the chick barks at you, and you don’t back down – many a chick will assume that based on your behavior towards you – you are the man that you say you are. The man that doesn’t take shit from anyone, least of all her.
I’m not mad at the RSD camp by any means. I think I’ve learned something from everyone who’s ever been in the game. Either what to do/what to say and what NOT to do/say.
I I do like the idea of immersion, basically getting a personal trainer for pick up – but to get muscles you gotta eat right, rest, and hit the gym religiously. On top of that, you have to be very mindful of your workouts and keep track to get top results.
A good commercial immersion plan is probably the ideal way to learn game.
How I learned the game?
– I read some stuff online
– I had faith in it, because it made logical sense to me
– At first, I went out a bunch and did nothing, too much Approach Anxiety
– Then I got serious. (I got my mind right)
– I went out and tried the stuff I read
– When the words didn’t work, I changed the delivery. I changed the delivery because I had faith in the words and in the logic. I didn’t change the words.
– Once I had the delivery down (what to emphasize, when to pause, when to communicate NON-verbally), I was off to the races.
– Certain stories/routines/ideas would get predictable responses. They called it “chick crack” back in the day. For example, any sort of story that is “boys vs girls” – the girl is going to take the girl side, and she’s going to know what boys always say.
– Once I knew which directions a chick would turn, I could then have the right secondary response. I knew how to respond to her reaction. So I was playing the game 2 levels deep. Knowing how to handle her somewhat predictable reaction is basically what makes a conversation look good from the outside. Because then it looks back and forth. (because it is truly back and forth).
Like playing Ping Pong, beginners aim to keep the ball on the table because that’s fun and a challenge.. You hit the ball to where the other person can hit it. Because if you keep slamming it, the other person has to go chase the ball. Making it less fun for the other person, and ending the game.
Anyway, more and more reference experiences of my own + reading the experiences of others doing a lot of the same stuff, and finding that they had some of the same issues and came up with solutions – that built into knowing how to handle many more situations.
To me, if you learned of game from the internet – this was basically the path.
Now, i’m not so sure if people learn this way.
I’m pretty sure the PUA boot camp model doesn’t work because the Army Boot Camp is 9 weeks long, 24 hours a day. – 1,512 hours to break down your Civilian (blue pill) thinking and turn you into a member of the military (red pill) And then to become a true soldier the government forces you to live like a soldier and do what a soldier does. Carrot and stick, Pleasure and Pain. And even with that, guys wash out even before they hit combat. Guys that go to combat deal with even more that all the training in the world can’t seem to prepare them for.
So to bring this back together
You can break down the game to it’s parts. You can teach it as a system of interaction, and basically do mini-missions or small chunk your game.
The real learning isn’t going to come from the books, but from your own real world feedback.