The Problem with Patrice O’Neal


Patrice had Game, so fucking chicks in Brazil didn’t hurt him.  A lot of other guys don’t have game, aren’t even aware of game, and it basically destroys them.


Why am I even talking about this?

Stemming from the last post, I maintain that overwork is the worst thing that can happen to your game.  I did mention that Prostitution wasn’t as bad as overwork.

God damned P Word.  I totally understand why forums ban any discussion of P4P.  You can’t even make reference to it, not even as an aside.


P4P brings out the worst in regular dudes, and also attracts the worst kind of dudes.

Mongers are worse than “blue pill betas”.  In my mind, they’re worse than the Red Pill Mouth Breathers.  You sort of need to get to a higher level of game to understand why these guys are bad, but P4P sucks the air out of the room.  It’s like those guys who are constantly stressing MONEY vs BITCHES.  At least in that debate, you can mention opportunity cost to shut those guys up – but a contingent of them are always on some bullshit like “You’re always paying, no matter what”

But y’all know that I already hate this whole cadre of guys.  I ban them from my site and don’t interact with them on other sites. Fuck those dudes.

So back to the question about what prostitution does to your game, and it not being as bad as overwork – we get to the curious case of Patrice O’Neal.

From a “spitting game to chicks but also keeping your self respect” p.o.v – which is the basic default philosophy of the Black Man’s Game – Patrice is our patron saint.   Him and Dante dispensed some of the greatest player insight in recent years.  They weren’t deep in the pimp game like say Chester Himes or Donald Goines.  That level of game is overkill for those of us who just want to hang out with a chick for a few nights.   Patrice aka Black Phillip – hits guys with the right level of mindset so that they can then think differently and make behavioral changes.

That is the key to game.

You think differently about something.  You then can feel differently about it.  The emotions take over the rest of your body language in the short term, and in the long term your overall behavior with respect to some aspects in your life change.

Guys understand why going out on a regular basis is important.  You want to build up “reference” experiences.  Tangible things you can remember to avoid, and things you can remember to pursue.

Journaling (better than blogging imo) helps you to think about those things in a more crystalline way, and returning to your old writings allows you to reflect and correct.

So that’s part of what Patrice offered.

And he did so in two ways.  The lesser effective way is just breaking down the situation.  The more effective way is through narrative.  By telling stories from his life, things that have a beginning, middle and end…a premise, a conflict, a resolution – he can teach better.

A few stories stick out in my mind with Patrice.

The one about his girl at the time asking him which side of the bed he likes to sleep on, in order to manipulate him into giving her his side is a great one.  To paraphrase

Girl – “What side of the bed do you like to sleep on?”

Patrice – “The right side”

Girl “But if you sleep there, i can’t watch TV”

Patrice then breaks down the situation where the woman essentially knew where he slept, and where she wanted to sleep, but didn’t want to create a situation where she would have to ask a plain question and risk him saying no to her.  This sort of manipulation is “game”, but it’s bad game.  If the person feels like they’re being manipulated, then it fails.

That was an epiphany for me, and I started to see my girl at the time, do all sorts of “face saving/ego protection manipulation of me all the time.

Now, before you in-the-closet Red Pill Mouth Breathers start to rail off on “these broads” – My chick wasn’t some conscious operator moving pieces on a chess board.  In our culture, women are taught how to do this.  Not to get all Ed Kempner, but when you lack physical strength to get what you want, you use other strengths.

But Patrice had some other stories that stuck with me.

I think you know the one,his Brazil adventures.

Starts @ 1:18 – This is a brilliant rant.  Can’t stand the chicks the broads in this.  But he tell us that Brazil turned him into a super hero.

In this one, he actually explains what happened in Brazil.

This is a great little tidbit on top notch girl game.  A chick can get far more out of a man by letting him tap into his “natural” desire to provide for him.


He’s bragging about flying into Brazil to bang 3rd world hookers.  Not only brag, but try to get other guys to go on what are essentially whoremonger trips.

In general, outright trading money for P, in the West, destroys your ego.  Often guys who resort to pro’s – their egos are destroyed and their self esteems as well.  I’m not exactly sure why guys think prostitution is worse for your game than pornography – but that’s the basic rule in the community.

Get with a paid whore and lose your mojo.


That’s why overwork is worse.

YaReally used to talk about this in terms of player motivation.

There are guys that are in it for the thrill of the chase (TOTC).  The journey is the reward.

And then there are guys that are in it for the pleasure of sex.  The end point of the journey is the reward.

Guess who’s nascent game gets hurt by prostitution? The TOTC type guys.

I’ve mentioned on the forum, some of the naturals I came up with or met later in life – we’re not using game because they enjoyed turning a stranger into a lover – some of them were very much addicted to sex.  So regular girl or hooker – it didn’t matter.  Ugly or fat, no difference.  Keep banging the same chick, that’s fine, as long as they got theirs.  They didn’t need variety, they didn’t like the “turn”, they just wanted to put P into V.  The hunger was always there, and ever consuming.  These men were basically slaves to their desires, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  Addicts.

If they got an escort on Tuesday, they could still sweet talk the next chick on Wednesday.  They still had the mentality, still knew the steps, still could read the women, still had the desire to go through the process – because they could get what they wanted at the end.

The square who doesn’t even know about game, or the new guy struggling with game goes to an escort – and he realizes how much easier it is to just fork over a credit card and have some porn star look alike giving him the girlfriend experience – and he’ll never try to pull a regular woman again.  Or so he thinks.

There was a post on the newb board from a virgin who wanted to fly to the Philippines and get a hooker.  Sure he’ll get laid.  He could do the same in the states.  There are devices that he can use on himself that will simulate the act – why even fly?

But veterans of the game understand that for most of us – this isn’t about P into V. We aren’t sex addicts.  It’s not just that convenience store nachos aren’t a replacement for learning how to cook.

It’s that at the core of a lot of guys getting into game – they’re egos need to be validated.  That doesn’t come through trading money for sex – but taking a beautiful stranger, interacting with her, and having her genuinely like them.

It’s the affirmation of self, I am important, I matter, I am sexy, I am worthy.




3 thoughts on “The Problem with Patrice O’Neal”

  1. My favorite thing about Patrice was that his life philosophy just seemed so organic, as in, the opposite of try hard, and as such, he came up with all his own terminology, all his own turns of phrase.

    He was always thinking on his feet, always able to instantly, in the moment, analyze, name, and remedy whatever nonsense a woman threw at him in his show.

    I also appreciate that you are bringing up the way women are always saving face on pointless things that don’t seem to matter, because we have been programmed, since the sixties, to believe it is men with the fragile egos, when the reverse has been true all along.

    Like you say, they can’t even ask for something, something little, something a guy would think nothing of, because it is somehow a loss of face.

    And you are right too, the point isn’t to hate on them, the point is to UNDERSTAND what is really going on, so the picture in your eyes becomes a little less cloudy, and, hopefully, with this clarity, you stop acting and reacting emotionally, and are able to lead a path through conversations, instead of being as big a victim of shifting emotions as they are.

    Nice post.

    Edmund Kemper reference though.

    1. Damn B, you make my writing sound better than it is, lol.

      I got something major planned with Patrice, but I gotta put out my own work first.

  2. You hit the nail on the head Archie.

    Patrice had game, dealing with pros wasn’t a problem for him.

    I’ve seen blue pill and gameless guys lives turned inside out and burned to the ground interacting with female hustlers. Even just socially.

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