What to do when you find the one

I have no idea, but what I can tell you what happened to me every time

  • Started out by juggling a few chicks
  • This girl stood out from the rest
  • Looks and personality, habits
  • Let’s try monogamy
  • Let’s move in
  • Let’s meet each other’s family
  • Let’s get comfortable

If you’re old like me, this is familiar territory.

So why am I still writing a game blog?
This should be a Dad’s guide to coaching soccer or something suburban.

Did I get soft?
1st time, yes
2nd and 3rd? No, hell no.

What does this even mean?  The life cycle of the relationship is lust, then domestic bliss, and then there is a plateau until the man takes it up a notch.  The relationship requires more and more of your time and effort, and you lose more and more of your flexibility and freedom.  The gain?  You get closer to your partner and build a better bond.  More tangibly, you have someone that you can trust to pick you up at the airport, and you don’t come home to a lonely apartment every day.

To be honest, a lot of you guys are bachelors or you’ve never had a relationship POST LEARNING THE GAME.  So it’s actually a hard sell to be honest.  If you’re out there, talking to new women on a regular basis, getting to go out and try new things – the real choices are New Chick vs Sleep.   To have a chick next to you when you’re watching the Fight or trying to fix a driver issue with your video card is not really that appealing.   By the same token, the chick wants you there for romance and to fix stuff, but she also doesn’t want you underfoot sniffing at her every time the wind blows.

The tension in every relationship

She wants you to change, and you don’t want to change.
You want her to stay the same and she can’t.

The entire relationship is a repeat of the first pull in many ways. You get her by subverting her expectations. You can of course do this actively and consciously. But that gets old. You’re doing new tricks for the same old chick. She’s not increasing her value to you in *obvious* ways. You can get to the point of internalization of the game – where teasing and pleasing become 2nd nature, that takes the conscious effort on your part away. And internalization is a hop, skip, and a jump away from true character change. As the guys like to say, my external game is an expression of my internal game.

But what to do?

For me the game has essentially been giving people what they want in exchange for what I want.  But there comes a time when you no longer want what they have to offer.  So you stop giving them the emotions they need.  Sooner or later, she’s going to be looking for that fix from someone else, or something else.

I’ve been here.  When I didn’t understand dynamics, I was just unaware.  Then the next time around, I would placate.  The next time, and pretty much since then – I just let the chick go. The next dude will be more than happy to chase after her and please her with whatever she wants.

No real advice in this one Sport.

Might come back to it…

5 thoughts on “What to do when you find the one”

      1. Nice!

        Looking forward to the book. I am hoping your book is more examples focused than theory focused. Too many books in this genre have a lot of theories, but they don’t have actual real life examples where you can implement those theories nor do they have real life conversation scripts of their approaches.

  1. Would be interested in you expanding on that last part. I’m in my first LTR post RP and think I’ve hit a plateau myself. It’s only been a couple of months but I find myself wishing I was single and out there improving my game.

    In the meantime I’m going through the motions and placating as you mention in order to keep the relationship afloat. Sometimes I wonder if I’m enamored with how I picked her up and “our story” or if I’m really into her for her.

    Care to share the story about the last relationship that plateaued, how you realized it, what you did after, and how it ended up?

    One of the things that makes an LTR difficult post RP is that I’ve been working on tuning myself to the subtle hints that girls give off that they are attracted to me. That, and the preselection that an LTR affords has IOI’s flying left and right!

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