Body Language Resources

Still hard at work on the book.  (and hard at work at my day job)

Came across this in my research

https://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/toc.html

And here’s a link of what I’m writing about in terms of the book.  The difference between a pick up mentality and a Game mentality.

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/be4rmw/hey_i_wanted_some_advice_on_game/el3g74r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

Bezos vs Buffett

I’ve said before that having a big chunk of change is an impediment to the game.

So we just saw my man Bezos get caught up with some random chick.

New joint is n the left, his wife is on the bottom right.  That’s whatever.  But what the real kicker was The Enquirer trying to blackmail him.

“I love you, alive girl. I will show you with my body, and my lips and my eyes, very soon,”

Plus racy pictures aka dick pics.

Billions = Bad Text Game

What if you had that kind of bread, but you wanted to try something else?

Pimp Hand is Strong

Just read about his relationship here

https://www.businessinsider.com/warren-buffett-marriage-wife-2017-10

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2086406/Warren-Buffett-breaks-tears-mention-wife.html

So the long story short is my man meets his first wife in college.  Stays on her persistently and locks her down.  Meanwhile someone else swoops in and catches his eye.  Friend of the wife. (hypergamy in action?)

So far, Beta Bucks.

But he must have laid the game down on the 1st wife, cause she moved out, kept the marriage, and the new chick moved in.

He got to eat them cakes and keep the bakery!

Anatomy of Bad Number Close

The TL DR of this 3,000+ word analysis of a 4 minute pick up – is that he gets a number despite his game, and the number is probably bad.  But newbs would just be impressed that he got the number
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcEZkQwlkNQ&feature=youtu.be

 

The Setting – College Campus.  Seated girl and standing approaching guy.

Demographics – Average Dressed White Guy and Typical White Girl. Both college students.

SMV Arbitrage – Can’t see her face, but they look about even. On the plus side, he’s not dressed like some Vegas Club promoter or investment banker.  He’s not built like Nubian God either. (well maybe Nordic is the right word here)  He’s basically not a “cool” dude, but that’s not the point of pick up.

Sequence – He walks in, chats her up for a bit, grabs the number.

Successful right? He got the phone number.  Hell she wrote in a piece of paper for the bum.

What more could you ask for? 

Why you such a hater Archie?

The Goal of a Day Time Pick up

  1. Ideally, same day lovin Bible Reading
  2. Instadate
  3. Solid # – which means, that’s she’s invested enough into the chat that she wants you to call her because she wants to interact more with you, and will actually text/call/message back to you to  make the date.

The only way to say the number pull was good, is if we see you actually out on the date with the girl.

This got posted on Reddit as a something a new PUA resonated with.  But any seasoned veteran of the game can take one look at this 4-5 minute video with no sound and tell that it was a bad number pull.  It’s in the chick’s body language.  It’s also somewhat in his body language.

Given the goals of a Day Time Pick Up, we can eliminate the Same Day Bible Reading and the Instadate just off the time stamp alone.

Let’s get to the dialogue

PUA – Hi, Sorry to interrupt your studies. I just thought you were cute and wanted to say Hi.

  1. “Hi” – social trigger. 
  2. Apology before he gets to display personality. 
  3. Gives “premise”/shows intent from the jump. 

This is classic YouTube Direct Day Game style.

  • Easy to Remember
  • Socially Acceptable
  • Puts the girl on notice

Lotta dudes hate on Sasha, and his style is not for everyone, but it works for a lot of guys that can’t wrap their minds around technical pick up.

Poor Defenseless Girl – *laughs positively*, “Ashley”  – *she extends her hand to shake*

At this point, no damage has been done to his claims, but this could have easily went the USUAL way. 

In fact, by my measure, this is actually going well, specifically because she moves first.

PUA – 

*extends hand to meet hers*

“Random, Avery.  I’ve never met an Ashley before.”

*sips his drink*

(10 seconds in, still not sitting down)

  1. Extending his hand is meeting her half way, but  he actually has the frame here.  This is good.
  2. Supplies his name – which good technique says reserve that for a free IOI when she asks you your name.  In either event, if she remembers your name at the end of the chat – you made an impression. If she didn’t…..
  3. “Random” – is meta-commentary that guys new to pick up engage in all the time.  (Other new habits are self-deprecating humor instead of being able to laugh at one’s self)

Other examples of meta commentary (a bit like breaking the 4th wall and talking to the audience)

  • “How am I doing?”
  • “You’re not winning any points”
  • “You lost some points”

The guy is commenting on the date as it happens, so the communication is at 3 levels (instead of just 2)

  • What he’s saying to her
  • What he’s thinking about the encounter, and what she might be thinking about the encounter (this is the meta commentary)
  • The non-verbal subcommunications that’s going on between them.

It puts the girl out of the “spell” which is why it’s not a go to tactic.  Now if this is part of your personality, to make comments on events as they happen, it’s fine.  But it’s not optimal.

What this comment, “Random” supposed to do?

The comment “random” is supposed to articulate what’s on her mind as he approaches. It’s a “I know what you’re thinking, lemme say it as you think it”.

When I talk to a girl, and say what she is thinking before she says it, or before she can come to her own conclusion – a few things can happen.

What to do with Statements of Articulation?

I can build great rapport, comfort, and trust.

I can also take unformed negative feelings and reframe them as positive. 

If you can sense a girl is feeling some kinda way, but can’t find the words for her – you can give her a new narrative. (As Patrice would say, give your girl another option, another way to think.  Ideally one that’s amenable to both of you, not a win/lose situation that girls normally think of)

If the girl looks scared or startled, she might be thinking fear.  So you tell the girl, ISN’T THIS EXCITING?

That’s some standard game, but not standard PUA.  PUA can be pretty granular (thinks back to the NLP days), but it’s doing what Game with a capital G does.

Verbal Articulation of what’s on the girl’s mind CAN be good game, but not this way, and probably not this early in the interaction.

So what we have here from a G’s perspective is a 2nd apology for approaching.  First was “sorry” and the second was “random”.

This is the sort of thing that can be dismissed, especially with this demographic, and her immediately positive reception. 

Keep in mind, he has somewhat of the upper hand here, as he’s directing the interaction, but he’s also not comfortable in his leadership of the interaction – hence trying to accommodate fears of the girl he’s talking to.

I’ve never met an Ashley before *delivered deadpan*

This is somewhat of a neg or a playful tease, but basically he’s saying white girl has a basic white girl name.  She’s been nothing but sweet and cordial to him at this point. But he went from respectful young man to snarky fuck boy in the span of 9 seconds.

I don’t know whether to shake my head or give him the nod of a G.

The Sip of the Drink – is basically not giving the girl his full attention. And that’s actually a bold move on his part, if that was calculated.  I bet that it’s not, but it is an example of “alpha shining through despite beta behavior”.

Some would even call this a bit of a neg.  I doubt that it was on purpose, and it never makes sense to neg a cute girl during the day time when she’s being pleasant.

Poor Defenseless Girl (PDG) aka Ashley –

*In actual disbelief tone*

“Really?”

Right off the bat, the purposeless neg didn’t land.  She basically takes the frame back. Now he has to explain himself.

So what does he say in reply?

PUA – No I have, many

PDG – Yeah. *giggles*

PUA – It’s a classic

PDG – Yes

PUA – It’s the How I Met Your Mother’s of names, ya know. *still standing 20 seconds in*

This is where culture matters, because he’s leaning depp into his whiteness.  (For first time readers, Archie is black af – and I haven’t watched too many epsidoes of HIMYM or Friends)

But this is another playful dig/tease at her basic-ness.

This theme of her being a “basic bitch” continues throughout the pull. 

PDG – *laughs* – “something like that…that’s funny”

PUA – “So what are you studying?”

Interview question.  Can go either way.

PDG – “Right now?” *She turns down*

PUA – “You have the same shitty computer that I do”

Is this a conscious neg, or just his personality?

What’s the goal here?  Why make this comment?  Where does he go with it?  Does he have a plan?

PDG – *in an actually offended tone* “Wow”

PUA – “Is it touch screen?”

So he calibrates by pushing past the dig and asking an information question.

PDG – *looking up at him* – “No” (Inaudible)

PUA – Mine’s better then.

So he doubles down on a pointless neg.

PDG

*reacting to his neg*

“Look at you”

So the girl responds typically. She sees his schtick, but goes along with it anway.

At 31 seconds into the encounter – there’s enough sort of friction to keep the chat going.

In my experience, A friction inducing style like this is meant to start a back and forth of EQUALS, not a superior dominating an inferior. 

But she’s back to staring up at him anyway.

So she’s “digging it?”  I don’t know?  I’m inclined to think no.

PUA

“But actually it’s a touch screen fucks up because if you get a tiny bit of water it thinks that you’re pressing it again and again…*inaudible*

*head nod of regret*

So he’s clawing back the neg a bit.

PDG – *laughter*

PUA – “But it is fun, I suppose”

PDG

*inaudible, but starts sharing something on the same vein* 

@45 Seconds, after she opens up a bit, he finally sits down.

PUA – “Dumb shit?”

PDG – 

*in a “I’m relating to you tone”*

“You know, all that stuff”

PUA – 

*In an “I feel what you’re saying tone*

“Oh/Aww…yeah….How do you like that major?”

So he’s backed off from the negs, sat down and gotten comfortable, responded to her opening up, and hits her with more “get to know you” questions.

Has he reached the “comfort and rapport” stage?

Under a Classic Mystery Method analysis, have we gone through open, value, female to male attraction, hoops/compliance, to the male to female attraction and into Phase 2 – comfort?

Under MM, up to this point, he’s failed because he’s basically not put her through explicit hoops to get a clear sense of whether or not she actually wants him to keep talking to her.  It could be argued, the fact that she doesn’t run away, we can assume attraction, and we can skip all that “jumping through hoops stuff”

Under an RSD/New School Day Game analysis, Open, Hook, Vibe.. – He opened, but has the conversation “hooked”?

What does that even mean?

She is talking to him. She is sharing herself with him, so maybe they have reached the hook point.

PDG – *shrugs shoulders* “Fine”

PUA

*In a rapport seeking tone ending on an up inflection*

“Fine? I like the enthusiasm” *said dryly*

*Extends fist for a bump.*

PDG 

*Reciprocates fist bump*

“Oh yeah, so exciting”

*Laughs*

So this is the first compliance test, and she passes it.  Touch barrier is broken.

Touching, much like story telling, is one of those parts of the game that builds attraction, comfort, and arousal all at the same time, all at different degrees.

PUA – “What are you gonna do with it” *sips drink*

Again, the drink sipping, probably unintentional, shows that he’s not giving the girl his full attention.  In general, that’s preferable – but in terms of “hand”/”frame” – he sat down with her.

This is one of those PUA puzzles.  The person sitting has the power.  But the person being looked up to has the power.  When you see a throne room, the King is sitting and anyone that seeks his attention looks up to him, like a child to a parent.

That’s why desks, desk objects, luxurious chairs are so important to the executive.  And very simple chairs are for the people that are visiting him.  Yes, there’s even game in office furniture. 

In terms of the conversation – this is more Q&A rapport seeking

PDG – *in a surprised tone?* – “I dunno yet” @ 1:04

PUA – “Probably gonna make money”

PDG – “Hopefully”

PUA – “It’s about money”

PDG – “Haha, Hopefully”

PUA – *keeping with the dry tone*

“That’s cool”

“What do you do for fun”

Now, he’s pumping her for information, possibly looking for commonality.

PDG

*not much to say, and in a downcast tone*

 “Not a whole lot….I work a lot. I study a lot”

And this is where I think a so-so day game number close turns from something that could have been recovered, into more of a damage control.

We are only 77 seconds into the chat.

PUA – *in disbelief* – “Really”

PDG – *in a sad tone* “Yeah. I’m lame”

It’s a bit hard to read exactly how the girl is feeling

PUA – “The point of going to ASU is that, you have time to party because it’s not that hard.

In terms of business, we know now that Avery is talking to Ashley at ASU.  Sloppy editing.

PDG – *in an agreeable tone* – “Yeah, you would think right?”

So she’s falling into his frame, despite the missteps or because of them?

PUA – Yeah

PDG – *in an agreeable tone* – Says something back to him – inaudible.

PUA – Yeah, so I’m psychology, so I don’t have to do shit

PDG – *in an agreeable tone* – Says something back to him – inaudible.

PUA – “Yeah, but I won’t make money, so”

Is this a genius move to show that he won’t be a beta provider, or an unintentional DLV?

Will the PDG try to rebuild his self esteem?

PUA – “That’s a lie, but it will take a long time…”

PDG – “I was gonna say..”

So she kinda of does, but he doesn’t let her participate.

PUA – “But you only need 4 years and you’re good to go”

PDG – Inaudible

PUA – “I hope”

PDG – *laughs*

PUA – “Or my friend in finance, he’s homeless”

PDG

*tone of fear or incredulity or unbelief*

“What”

PUA

*laughs, lets the tension go” – “I’m just kidding”

This is another subtle neg with a clawback.

PDG – *laughs*

PUA – *in a sarcastic tone* I’m sure you’ll do better

PDG – “It’s like best of luck…”

PUA – “As long as you have wealthy parents, you’ll do fine”

PDG – *laughs*

PUA – Anyway, I just wanted to say that. I have to go to class, but would you like to go get coffee sometime?

This is a a classic number close.

Let’s agree to some vague date in the future, and then I’ll get the number as part of the logistics.

PDG  – “Sure”

PUA – “My Phone’s dead”

This is a rather smooth move in that he doesn’t for her number, he implies it.

PDG – *pops out her phone for him to punch in his number and I guess call himself*  “Do you have Snapchat?” (I think that’s what she said.)

PUA – “You can, but I don’t really use it”

DLV or DHV or Missed opportunity?

PDG – *stares off into space*

As opposed to her continuing to look at him.

PUA – *notices power on the phone* – “9%”

PDG – Tries to explain herself

PUA – *cuts her off* – You’re running out.

PDG says stuff

PUA – *as he puts his number in her phone* – “Why is your life such a mess?”

PDG – tries to explain herself and starts laughing.

Why is this funny?

PUA – You just gotta get one of those chargers….those cases..

PDG

*mumbles* 

*looks away*

PUA – “Couldn’t find myself, so I’m just gonna add my number”

PDG – *laughter*

PUA

*Mumbles*

“Do you remember my name?”

This is somewhat of a power move, in that he’s asking her to do something and she does it.

PDG – Brandon?

But she fails his compliance hoop.

Was it because he was so much fun, she got caught up in the moment?

Or is it because most people can’t remember names of people they first meet?

PUA

*trying to berate her playfully*

“Brandon?  That’s not even close, that’s not even the right letter of the alphabet.  It’d be better to say no…

*gets cut off by the girl*

PDG – says something

PUA

*cutting her off* “…”than to guess when you’re that far off”

“Yours was what, Cersei?”

Low key this is another dig, and depending on where you fall on Game of Thrones, a bit of a DLV to know all the names and personalities of the characters.

PDG – *laughing* “Yeah”

PUA – *giving an order* – Text me your name

PDG – *reacts* *laughs*

PUA – “Cersei is winning the Game of Thrones”

So this isn’t a dig per se, but another back handed compliment.

PUA – I hope you’re not behind.

PDG – *in a question tone* “In Game of Thrones”

PUA – “Yeah”

PDG – *in a down tone* “I’ve never watched it”

PUA – *incredulously* – What really?

So going back to the GOT reference, Dragons and what not are still some nerd stuff. He’s not backing down, but she’s not trying to win his approval.

PDG

*inaudible*

*explanatory tone*

PUA – *incredulously* – “You live an unusual life?”

PDG

*inaudible*

*explanatory tone*

PUA – “Crazy.. I can’t imagine not being into Game of Thrones”

PDG

*laughs*

*mocking him slightly* “You’re like weird”

PUA

*continuing this rapport/commonality seeking thread*

“You like Ozark shit..

“Breaking Bad…”

PDG – *continues to demur*

PUA

*switches gears*

“I like Jersey Shore”

PDG – *gives him some positive feedback*

PUA – So you relate to them?

PDG – *laughs*

PUA – “GTL is what I do every day”

PDG – “Oh yeah.. You look like it”

PUA – “Yeah, minus the gym and the tan”

DLV?  Dude is not in good shape.  He’s unnecessarily drawing attention to that fact, for a joke, I guess?

PDG – “Serious?”

PUA – “I do a lot of laundry”

PDG – “Hey…” *laughs*

PUA – “Cause my clothes get dirty fast, and I’m gross

Another purposeful DLV?

PDG – *points*

PUA

“Right”

*starts to get up*

*she doesn’t turn to watch him walk away*

“Nice to meet you”

“Have a good one”

“I think that’s a good note to end on”

____________________________________________________

Okay then…

One man’s cringe is another man’s gold. 

But thing to look for when you review infields are the reactions from the girl.

  • She was laughing at his jokes, but was this girl truly participating? (I don’t think so)
  • Did she ask him any questions? (Not really)
  • Did she volunteer things that weren’t part of the natural course of the conversation he was leading? (No)
  • Did her body language change much? (No)

He missed a lot of opportunities to actually use some pick up techniques or anything game related.

So he gets the number, but does anyone watching the girl think that the number is going to be good?

Even if he does the get date, will it be because of his “pickup” skill? His winning personality?  His good looks?

It’s a pick up where he comes in apologetic, and then switches gears to a snarky/sarcastic tone, constantly implying the girl is a “basic bitch” (not my terms!)  At the end, he DLV’s with his nerd stuff, but still gets the phone number in a somewhat smooth manner.

– Archie

East Indian Archie Redux

I really try to stay away from red meat for red pill guys. There are much better sources for masculine outrage. But sometimes it’s just too tempting.

Aziz Ansari is one such character

I’m Happy To Be Here

So to recap, Aziz Ansari was “Woke Bae #1”. He embodied everything that modern women say the want via the media. And then he had his scandal. To recap

  • He was a Celeb doing Celeb things at a Celeb party.
  • Random groupie with her date makes a move on him
  • He doesn’t give her the time of day
  • He realizes that he’s looking at a freebie
  • Environmental opener and quick number exchange
  • They meet up for a bit of din din
  • He orders white wine for her, she prefers red.
  • Back to his crib, and things start to go down
  • Clothes come off, some things happen, but Aziz puts his foot on the gas and throws three fingers down the chick’s throat
  • She leaves
  • She then writes cryptic tweets and anonymous comments to start the rumor mill about him.
  • Then not getting enough attention, some random mag publishes her account.
  • Aziz becomes a pariah the same time that Weinstein is getting exposed and Cosby going through his. (To an extent, what Aziz did was conflated with Weinstein’s casting couch and Cosby’s roofie moves.)

What’s interesting is that the behavior is not considered sexual assault, but it’s not clear what is wrong exactly, except that they weren’t on the same page sexually. Well The Press/Twitter doesn’t really make it clear what’s wrong, and since nobody with game is credible…

So he goes on hiatus and tries to let things burn out. Like your man Louis CK – who’s crime was asking for permission and then jacking off in front of chicks. Dave Chappelle speaking on the matter.

But now your boy is back. Most of the reports have focused on him NOT saying a Brahma-damn thing about the incident. Until now.

Aziz Ansari says he hopes he’s “become a better person” since being accused of sexual misconduct


Really my G? A better person?

The real problem around the Aziz story is that America/The West doesn’t want to have a frank discussion about sex. Those of us that have been out her for a while recognize that the most important communication between potential partners is SUB-COMMUNICATED.

Furthermore, changing the non-verbal to the verbal often kills this fragile thing called romance, particularly on the female side. She doesn’t want to know the details of how the sausage is made, she just wants the damn hotdog.

Voicing every thing about the date is a known problem. A lot of clueless guys like to get a meta-commentary of the date. A lot of newb players like to talk about pickup with girls that they’re trying to pick up. We also know that women prefer some mystery, and in the long term, once she thinks she has you figured out, the novelty is gone, and she gets less attracted.

Traditionally, escalation is handled tacitly. The guy makes a LONG series of incremental moves from the very beginning of his interaction with a partner. I been saying for years that so-called Last Minute Resistance starts in the first minute.

Last Minute Resistance starts when you’re putting on your cologne before you go out. It starts with whether you’re getting enough sleep, eating correctly, staying fit. I don’t mean this in the new age player sort of way that you hear in both PUA and Red Pill Circles. I mean that girls consciously and subconsciously pick up on your smell, your body, and your body language. Most of the things gurus talk about these days have actual practical implication – though the average guy in this community would not put that together.

But back to Aziz. He thought this chick was a lock and did not pay attention to her language or her body language the entire date. When it came to for some action..

He was trying to escalate instead of building trust, rapport, and comfort. That could have been his wife (or at least a solid friend with benefits) if he actually did what the girl was sub-communicating the entire time.

Now a big part of the media brouhaha is that the chick basically said that Aziz wasn’t reading her. She was actually being very real about how to pick her up, pull her, put her into bed. It was quite a refreshing read at the time to be honest. The media on the other hand, because it doesn’t want to really discuss how people hook up, was able to find the dumb ass tweets from people saying “She should have said something” and “He needs to be in jail” etc.

Everyone is in denial.

I think I made that point in the earlier post. But Aziz doesn’t seem to have learned his lesson.

If you hold yourself out as “holy”, all you can do is fall from grace. But if you start as the villain, the social narrative allows you to become the hero.

Steven Tyler (lead singer of rock band Aerosmith) has known issues with women. But he got mostly praise when he opened a shelter for abused women.

Aziz? C’mon bro. Embrace the dark side, don’t just be a victim.

Most Common Scenarios

Rank the following in difficulty for yourself, and for a beginner

  1. Night Game, Cold Approach, Same Night Loving
  2. Night Game, Cold Approach, That Leads to a Date
  3. Day Game, Cold Approach, Same Day Loving
  4. Day Game, Cold Approach, That Leads to a Date
  5. Weak Ties Social Circle (Think meet up, gym), Warm Approach, to SNL/SDL
  6. Online Dating that leads to a First Meet loving
  7. Online Dating that leads to a Date

I find that men learning social skills gravitate towards the list in reverse order. And they also go down two well known dead ends

1. Strong Ties Social Circle (coworkers and class mates)

2.Social Media Direct Messages.


Patrice O’Neal vs Eric Weber

I’ve never heard this before. But Eric Weber wrote “How to Pick Up Girls”. If you’ve read Neil Strauss’ The Game – Style’s plan was to meet all the gurus, learn all of their skills, and then take over the world. So this was reading books, going to seminars and conventions, taking bootcamps, and finally participating in the adventure with Mystery. Eric Weber may have been his white whale. He didn’t meet him until after his journey.

Starts @ 8:34

They call him a nerd, but he Patrice O’Neal doesn’t agree with tone of the Eric. (but it’s from 1975 – pre AIDS, pre stalking laws, pre restraining orders – per Patrice O’Neal)

Eric says, as part of how to do a street pick up, “You’ve got to be cool”

Patrice says there’s this balance between confidence and humble. But the key game point that I want to mention happens around the ~14:00 minute mark.

Patrice – “She wants to be a ho..adventurous. [Ed. Edited for posterity] “Long as they feel like it’s not their fault, that they went home, went to the hotel… You have to make it feel like someone else”

So @ 15:59 Patrice goes out to the street with a microphone and attempts to run some of these Weber lines. The pick up is hilarious. (And stay on for Dane Cook’s take on it)

-Archie