Pathology

Adapted from a comment that the homey Intro made on the thread.

…There are guys like that too. Who have the pathological need to take a broken chick and take care of her. …. But for a woman it’s definitely an important quality.

I forget the full context of the statement – but this really stuck out to me as something to be discussed.

Not in the context of what’s wrong with other guys – but rather on how  a man goes de-programming himself from harmful patterns that instilled in him as child.

Given what we know now (or at least suspect) about women – It’s easy to knock these dudes.  They just want to save these chicks from themselves.  How did they come to these behaviors? Who told them to do that?

• Their mothers
• Society
• School
• Religion
• Culture
• Media

Unless they ran into a dude like me, WHO HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY, or they had access to good game material – saving a chick that’s going in the wrong direction is what they’re going to do.

It’s not only important to have empathy and compassion for the next man, it’s helpful in determining what changes a young player needs to make in his own life.

Some guys are born into the game.
They have bad mothers and they learn not to deify women.  A lot of the famous pimps in history/literature have had mothers that left good men to be with bad men, or manipulated good men in order to get something out of them.  That type of behavior can turn a man’s heart cold.

Now, not every guy with a bad mom learns that.
Oftentimes boys with bad parents, try much harder to please these wayward parents.   It’s the same cycle of abuse with bad relationships.  The “good” person in the relationship will change his own behavior so that the “bad” person will either like them and change her behavior.

The troubling aspect of the game is that a lot of the women we find physically attractive also show this poor behavior. Indeed, when you take looks out of the equation – even a regular chick has some of these traits built into her.  The difference between the average guy and the new player is that the New Player no longer tries to submit to make the girl come around.

Now if a guy wasn’t exposed to these sorts of things, he has to learn game.

But most guys aren’t ever exposed.  What’s worse is that nost guys have no curiosity, no imagination about that stuff.

Taking care of these broken “angels” is just what you do.  You take care of your woman. As natural as gravity.  You be nice. You care for her.

Except that in the game, we’ve all learned that this is the sure fire way to lose the chick.  You don’t treat a chick a the way you want to be treated, the way she ought to be treated, the way she SAYS she wants to be treated – but you treat her in such a way that she RESPONDS TO.

Often what people respond to, is not what society says is right or what they say for themselves.  Passing up on a chick that is good for you, a chick that is good for you, for a chick that’s no good.  The no good broad has something that makes you RESPOND.  You justify whatever you do after the fact.

The closest most guys ever come to understanding the dual nature of a woman is when they see asshole jocks/rich guys  get what they want from women.  But as normal guys do, they tie the change in the woman’s behavior to some other visually identifiable trait of the male.

They see the “poor” behavior, but they think that women find those men attractive regardless of the behavior.

Maybe the regular guy goes one level up, and starts acting like a jerk to attract chicks.  That only takes them so far – because they don’t understand why the
behavior is attractive.

Once you get to the root of it – that behavior is what attracts women – that opens doors.  You start to see.

I can do whatever style of game I want – because what’s ultimately attractive to the chick is this power I have over her to make her react.

No regular guy will ever see that.   Maybe if he gets into sales or leadership. Even then he doesn’t realize what he’s actually doing.

So the takeaways here

• It’s “natural” to want to save a chick
• It’s only “natural” because you’ve been programmed that way
• Deprogram yourself by taking changing your behavior towards women
• Instead of doing things that you think are right, that society says, that she says – focus your attention on things that make her respond

-Archie