The practical value of watching this show is that you have conversation fodder for dealing with black women and chicks that follow urban culture.
The simple story is that a twenty something fabulous black couple has been dating for a while. The boyfriend is not working a 9-5 job, but is instead working on an app. She comes home and he’s playing video games on her birthday which he forgot. The girlfriend is getting restless and she is mulling over cheating. He gets his act together (works a job @ Best Buy and then gets a job at a start up).
And after he gets his act together she finds herself hanging out with a guy from her past and ends up cheating on him. Boyfriend finds out, leaves girlfriend. In what we think is going to be a reconciliation between the two –
The girlfriend comes back to their apartment to find all his stuff cleaned out except the Best Buy polo.
The next shot is of the former boyfriend smanging the hell out of a cute cashier that did recognize his worth.
So the girl argument from season 1 is that it was okay understandable for the Girlfriend to cheat because the Boyfriend wasn’t taking care of the homefront. Keep in mind, he was paying the bills, he had his own car, and he was working on his business. The fact that the business wasn’t going anywhere – made him understandably depressed. We don’t know what was going on with the App and we don’t know how Issa tried to nag encourage him to get on his hustle. The women that watch this show were also mad that the Boyfriend did get with the girl who was giving him some attention. They were especially mad at the fact that boyfriend was HITTING IT EXTRA HARD LIKE A MAN POSSESSED.
The guy argument – open and shut case. Missing a b-day is okay, and the chick over-reacted to one particular incident. He more than made up for it by getting a job, getting a better job, and then taking the girl ring shopping. The girlfriend betrayed him after he had done everything to make her happy.
That’s the plot of season 1. Season 2 just started, and we’re seeing the fall out.
This is great conversation if you’re dealing with black women 21-35.
But I don’t bring this to you guys because you need more pop culture openers. I bring it to you because of one of the keys in Girlfriend’s malaise is an important thing to notice about chicks in general.
The traditional analysis from chicks is that after 3-4 years the Boyfriend needed to
Get his Financial Act Together
Issa stepping out on him is not surprising.
The Manosphere analysis would probably be something along the lines of
He needed to be “more Alpha” and keep his girl in check.
He needed to Instill Dread, so she would not want to leave his side
The player analysis is this.
His mood affected her mood. And if he’s on a downswing, that pulls her down.
Hardcore, wall climbing, leg shaking #$%ing is an essential part of keeping the chick emotionally satisfied.
#2 is obvious. No matter how you feel about a chick in a long term relationship, you’re obligated to put it down. If you don’t have a job – you still have a job to do.
But #1 is the key insight. When you’re down – she’s down. When you’re up, she’s up. When you’re happy – she’s happy. But you can’t make her happy by doing things for her.
Here’s Patrice on the subject
So that’s one of the keys. But let’s dig a bit deeper.
Why does she become unhappy and restless when you are unhappy and restless?
Because she often pings off of others to PUMP HER OWN EMOTIONAL STATE.
When you see a 1 group of girls meet up with other girlfriends – they SQUEE – and that gets them hype. I see it all the time at the club.
At work – chicks are constantly playing good music, podcasts, changing their hair, looking in the mirror, eating – all sorts of stuff to keep their state pumped.
We see that when we go out. We notice that in chicks that we deal with.
In the long term situation – we often forget that. And that was Lawrence’s crime. He didn’t monitor his own emotional state in order to keep this chick inline.
So in the LTR situation – that’s part of what you need to do – if you’ve decided to take the preventative route to keeping your relationship going. (Playing defense).
In a pull situation – your energy needs to be higher at the beginning, and then go to an “end game” vibe at the end. Because she pings off of you to know how to feel.
Before we get too deep – the TL DR of the Future of Game post is that we need to become brands offline and online. We do that by creating a consistent image offline and online with pictures. We then link that online persona OFFLINE. So when you pull a chick, you add her to your ‘Gram. When you don’t pull a chick, YOU AD HER TO YOUR ‘Gram (snapchat, etc).
Let’ s Recap Real Quick
You should be getting offline experience – because you need to be used to the behavior of women at all times and in all situations
You should be getting online dating site experience.
You should be using best practices for your online dating (good quality photos, narrative photos, good profile, good messages, sending messages at the right time, getting them off the app and onto text, enough value to get the meet – and then using your offline game to make the connection)
But Dating Sites, Tumble, Binder, Plenty of Cupids that’s just the beginning.
What I’m talking about is building a brand. I haven’t actually done the full deep dive on The Thin Man method – but he’s an older gentleman in NYC – but one of the key ideas he brings to the fold that McQueen and others have also touched on is developing a personal brand.
The Personal Brand
You wear a suit. You have a money clip. Your shirt has cuff links. You cut your hair in a certain style. Wherever you go – you always look like you, but you always stand out.
These two dudes right here have a ton of style – but it’s manufactured. Imagine doing this every day all day. It’s a commitment. But if you’re in a essentially static environment (your local club circuit that is 20-40% regulars with new jacks on the weekends) – This can actually work well for you. You can become a local celebrity by committing to a certain look.
So what I’m proposing is inline with how women are making decisions nowadays. Less girls are going to clubs, more girls are getting dates online. And they’re making a lot of these decisions based on photos only. You can only do so much for your face. You can definitely diet and get in the gym. Things that you should be doing for yourself anyway. You can dress better (which costs either time or money). And the pics you take, aren’t you in the bathroom – but you grab yourself a college kid with a good camera and you create something like this
This is the sort of photo that will grab some attention and show you off in a flattering light. You can always make these better. Some action shots, and if you got biceps, shoulders, abs, glutes – you know how to get sports shorts so it doesn’t look blatant.
Although if you’re really killing it- you can go for the blatant look – and write a suggestive profile for those chicks looking for the one and done. (and by one and done I mean sharing a banana split – as this is a family blog)
The key here is that the future of game is developing this overall look that’s both online and offline. When you pick the chick up – she knows what she’s getting.
Now this doesn’t need to be GQ. Doing cool stuff – stuff that she wants to see herself doing is the key.
What girl doesn’t want to be in the crowd, on the side, back stage with a rocker?
This is (one of the reasons) why guys buy motorcycles – because girls want to look cute riding on the back.
So this starts us on the journey towards the future.
Crafting an image.
The next step is obviously to live up to the image, record it, share it.
I remember talking to soup about this. He’s an artist. I don’t know about his groupie situation, but chicks dig artists. He can offer her a lifestyle that me a 40-80hr a week desk jockey cannot.
Because girls are now basically living online and doing things for the ‘Gram – we have to adapt. We need to be on the ‘Gram, constructing an image, a fantasy life that she can be a part of.
That doesn’t mean being the black Dan Bilzerian. It does mean thinking about your Instagram/Online Persona and doing things that other people want to do.
Outdoors stuff, parties, travel, cooking – something that looks good to the eye.
It also means that all of your candid stuff – has to be things that will look good.
Now if you’re like me, a dinosaur – this means you actively have to start seeking photogenic opportunities. So instead of a regular party, you go to a White Party.
That’s something she wants to go to, to be a part of. (this one happened in St Tropez – mine will happen at some bourgie brunch spot)
Now when you show that you’re a guy that like mudding on your profile (I dunno maybe you like redneck chicks)
She can see that when you’re OFFLINE.
The image is now being constructed – and you’re playing in to her fantasy.
And just like regular game, once you have them hooked, once you have them desiring something – you don’t let them get it until you get something – until they invest.
So let’s recap
You should be doing your offline game – that means getting your behavior to back up your words and image
You should be doing online dating
Now you’re creating persona/brand that is your instagram/snapchat, your dating site profile, and you back up the behavior in real life.
And what a lot of guys are doing now – is straight instagram game. They have a kicking profile, use the various services out there to build followers, and then meet girls with a high # of followers. The # of pics you have showing the depth of your lifestyle – translates into chicks desiring that lifestyle and you being able to leverage what’s going on in her mind.
Now, I’m not saying you need to go down to your Ferrari dealership, location tag, and then snap this pic
Or this one…
Never that. This ain’t a how to get over on Seeking Ahrangeeement post…
But now that you’re creating a wonderland in her mind, and backing it up with your behavior in person – that’s going to be the new thing that she looks for.
The homey BC asked me on the forum about the future of the game.
Game is moving online. I’ve touched on it here, and on the forum.
Let’s define game for the purpose of this post first.
Q. What is game?
A. It is what you say and do to make a connection with a girl
There are 5 main environments that we play in
Night Game – usually at night,, marked by high density, lowered inhibitions, music, alcohol, and generally more social – though social through a filter. Concerts and festivals fit into day game, because the real constraints of socialization and chance for lowered inhibitions are greater than normal.
Day Game – a girl is going about her daily business, not necessarily interested in socializing.
Social Circle Game – people you already know, and their friends. This is how you’re supposed to meet, but has the highest probability of blow back.
Online Game – the new night game, but without the implicit social contract of decency.
World Game – when you go to a new country and you come at the dating environment with mostly your natural attractiveness in a basic animal sense.
What am I most experienced in
In descending order
I think Day Game and Social Circle game are relatively stable. What guys do now in those environments, worked in the 90’s and will probably work to the same degree 20 years from now.
What is changing?
Night game – Industry wide, there are less bars and clubs. This means that a new player has less opportunities to get high density practice. Veteran players have less places to go.
You’re seeing folks not going out regularly to small events, but big spikes in “viral” events. The need to socialize is now met somewhat through their own social circles, and through “attention whoring”. Dating sites have replaced candy crush as a hobby for some chicks.
World Game – World game changes as westerners go to new places and the girls get over the novelty of foreign guys. Places like Europe, South America, and Asia have been “gold mines” – but Western European guys on holiday are ruining Eastern Europe for Western Guys, and a general change in politics have made things more difficult for players of color. None of this is insurmountable, but pretty much everyone agrees that it was easier 10 years ago, and 20 years ago.
With those out of the way, what I’m seeing is the market move from night game to online game.
Night game is my bread and butter. The music, the smoke, the chaos, the predictability, the locking down of venues, tightening of logistics…. And the more you do night game, the more the night life seeps into your circle of friends – thus social circle.
Clubs are closing and girls are going out less. Instead of loud, smoky, noisy night clubs full of “losers” – they’re finding all the attention they need online.
As an old man, this is straight odd to me.
Nowadays, girls are more willing to meet strange men sight unseen. From a straight up safety perspective, she can do all the vetting she wants, it’s far easier to meet up with a guy that’s socially maladjusted than to make the face to face decision whether to continue a conversation at a bar.
In economic terms, this basically reduces some of the upfront costs of dating for both parties. She no longer has to get dressed and look good 2-3 nights a week, she can take one really great set of photos (something she already likes doing), make up, photoshop, special angles…and get far more attention from a vast range of men.
So her box is flooded.
For a guy, we can send hundreds of low investment pokes/likes/swipes – and get in far more “approaches” that way. At a club, you really only have 4 hours and X # of girls. The only comparable thing to the online experience is some EDM festival or a mega club in Vegas.
But overall the medium of the internet constrains a man’s typical options.
Going back to the working definition of game, what you say and do.
In a passive sense, you can make yourself look better. Not just work out, eat right, and dress better – but use the camera the same way that she does. Indeed, what a lot of players have found is that they use the camera, the pics, to tell a story more than just showcase the guns.
That’s the passive part of the game.
Online, all you can do is send messages – primarily words, emojis, pics and memes. Timing your messages by time of day, slow responses, and radio silence round out the arsenal.
By contrast, an offline player has
Third parties to play off of
Music, lighting, smoke, social proof, pre selection
These are all different ways into her mind that assist you in putting your best foot forward. And all of this you can engineer real time. You only get muted forms of these things online.
Let’s assume you’re like a lot of guys. You actually get the meet based on what you do on a dating site.
When you meet her in person, you still have to use this in person game to complete the spell. So with night game on a decline, the ability to get those reference experiences (like YaReally would say) has declined.
Of course, all is not lost. To Be Continued in 589
This is the break for the title track of 4:44, and it provides both the sonic bed for Jay’s lyrics, as well as the spiritual.
From the Hannah Williams track
Why do I find it so hard to love you?
When I know in my heart that I want to?…
I’m a part time lover and I’m never there
I find it hard to believe you don’t want it to end
I’ll be changing my tune when you walk in the room
I’ll be fixing the look on my face
I’m gonna get close to you, give my loving to you
At least until you’re going away
I know that I’m not good I’m never gonna treat you like I should
I’ve heard that all of the boys think you’re crazy When I treat you so bad, why do you want me?
I’ve heard that all of the girls are starting to hate me
For stealing your heart and treating you badly
It’s not surprising to me at all that it’s a woman singing this. I would be mildly surprised if she wrote it. Does that make me a villain for thinking that a lot of women have literally no heart when it comes to things like this? Like do I really think that most chicks have little to no guilt about what they put good men through?
I honestly don’t know. Like I was saying on the thread – dealing with women turns you into a player. You’re nice and soft when the only touchstones of feminine energy you have are your mother, grandmother, aunts, sisters, and cousins. Average guy takes that level of compassion and empathy into relationships he’s trying to have with women who aren’t his kin.
These women outside of the circle, they don’t love you unconditionally. In fact, they love you CONDITIONALLY. For non-players, Briffault’s law is in full effect.
In most rap songs, the sample itself rarely has anything to do with the lyrical content. But the chorus in this song and some of the verses actually helps Jay Z say what he wants to say.
I know that I’m not good
I’m never gonna treat you like I should
I’m a part time lover
But to borrow a line from his ode to black capitalism, he tries to give us a $1,000,000.00 of game for only $9.99.
That’s funny to me is that in this song, he’s basically telling us inadvertently how to deal with a Beyonce and the level of power he had with regard to her at the start.
How high on the totem pole do you need to be to tell Beyonce (@21 years of age, PRIME) – “don’t embarrass me”.
Objectively from Beyonce’s (or any powerful/famous/rich woman) – What were her real options. The chatter on the street was that Mos Def had already done hit it.
Beyonce, like everyone woman of her status, HAS TO DATE UP. She can try and pull an Oprah, but Steadman ain’t marrying her.
So on a lot of levels, Jay had Bey right where he wanted her. Taller, stronger, smarter, richer, more successful – And she has no real options. Think about J.Lo and Britney Spears married their back up dancers at some point. MARRIED…
Another $1,000 worth of game here. For the most part self explanatory. But how does one remain emotionless. Explaining how to NOT do something, how to control yourself – that’s 100K worth of game right there.
I will be emotionally available if I invited you over
Another gold line. I don’t even know what this looks like in practice, but the term “emotionally available” is a part of womanese.
The Mask being the thing that we as men wear to the world. Always cool, always in control… And we do this for a reason. You can’t ever show weakness because the world will not forgive for it. And sometimes the world includes your woman.
There’s a bit more “I’m sorry Beyonce” type stuff on the album, but most of it shows that you can get away with a whole lot, even when dealing with a top end chick.
We’ve talked about this before, and I will keep bringing it up. He does mention Facebook and Tinder and Slot Machines. But the some insights to grab
To be human is to be persuadable
We all seek social approval
Which obviously translates to
So 1, you’re in the right place.
2 – Chicks are always looking for social approval, and we often give it to them the backway through having social proof/pre-selection. Once deemed “important”, compliments and “beta moves” are considered sweet and gets a man closer to making connection.
3 – Being a verbal slot machine. She has to want to play you for one. But she keeps playing when you do things that are unexpected. Guys understand this intuitively, that’s why they want fresh openers and wear cologne that no one else wears. They want to be unexpected in very tangible ways.
What going out to clubs and dealing with lots of women teaches us, is that the real unpredictability is in words and actions. The basic guideline is that you need more roller coaster the hotter the chick is.
I used to be in sales. I wasn’t particularly good at it, because I didn’t know what I know now. I thought sales was like game. It’s not actually. They draw from the same source (persuasion), but there’s enough difference that you need to be up one level to appreciate it. I believe 10 years later, I’m one level up from what I knew about sales.
That time in my life wasn’t a total loss. Rarely anything is. There were things that I learned. I used to love these things that “overcame objections”
One of my favorites was “The List”.
So the situation is that
Prospect doesn’t want to buy life insurance,
Because it’s too expensive
They can’t fit into the budget
So “The List” breaks down this way.
I agree that Insurance is really expensive. And you totally couldn’t fit that in to your budget.
Let’s look at your budget
*break out a sheet of paper and a pencil at the kitchen table. It’s important to tear a sheet out of notebook, because you want to make it look you’re breaking the “presentation”. A “real” salesperson would have a worksheet*
What’s on your budget?
Rent? Mortgage? Let’s say it’s 800
Property tax? Another 100 a month
Utilities? Electricity, gas, water…that’s 150 a month at least
Food – Even when you cook at home, you’re spending a 100 a week
Student loans? Can’t forget those
Car payment? They get you with that, can’t be without a car
Car insurance? I wish I was selling car insurance, geez that’s a lot
Child care? ….(you get the picture)
The prospect, who wants to be out of this selling situation, wants to please you the seller by doing something that you want. The sub-communication is that if they do what you want, but don’t buy anything, they can be okay psychologically. They don’t feel that they’ve lost.
Let’s start to add them up
*make a big show of getting out the calculator*
“Then you gotta add in savings and retirement…”
This is even better when you get the prospect to write down the #’s
*Turn to to the prospect*
Man is this a lot of money to you.
This is what it takes to raise a family nowadays. Man..
Prospect – Yeah
I say – it really looks like you can’t afford it
Well it was nice meeting you..
*I start to gather up my things*
*leave the paper on the kitchen table, lay the pencil across the sheet*
Prospect looks relieved and smug – they beat this sales guy!
I say “But before I go, lemme ask you one question..”
“When you’re gone, who’s going to take care of your family?”
That’s when the prospect becomes a client.
This isn’t a bit that you can directly translate into a routine for a night club. But the idea is that you let the prospect get something on the sub-communication level – make them think they beat you – and then you come back at them from a direction they aren’t expecting.
You’re eating right and working out. You been to the dentist and the barber. You got a little spending money, your own car or transportation, and your own spot. You’re dressing the best you can, and you dress right for the venue.
That’s the baseline. That’s the baseline that you work on every day, every hour, every minute, every second of your life. A man is in a continual state of improvement. When you aren’t doing anything in particular, you’re conserving your energy, meditating, letting your muscles heal.
So let’s just assume that only 4 out of 10 guys are really trying to meet a chick to get with. Of the guys that are in the race, very few even attempt to make themselves presentable. That’s the visual aspect of the game.
What about the behavioral aspect of the game? How many of them have heard of game, much less know game? Just reading any game blog puts you head of 98 out of 100 guys. Reading mine, well that’s put you ahead of 99 out of 100 guys (lol).
So how do those 40% actually meet a chick and make a family?
School, Work, Church, Friends of Family, and friends of friends.
Meeting a girl through cold approach? That’s the stuff you only see in movies (porn usually), or see certain guys do.
And what kind of game do these guys use?
Hey, how you doing?
They go direct, and they ask boring questions. The girl knows the dance, and she makes her assessment right then and there, and decides whether or not if she wants to comply.
In the late 90’s, the guys going out to clubs quickly realized that such a simple and straightforward approach didn’t get them the results that they wanted.
Part of that is because they weren’t particularly honest about what they wanted from the girl (We’ll discuss Mode One at some point). But if you approach a girl, at a club, she can rightfully assume sexual intent. Based on that information alone, she’ll make the “spend time with this guy” decision, INSTANTLY. This is where the dreaded “5 seconds, she knows whether or not…” type stuff comes from.
When PUA was coming together, it basically dispelled this myth and made the “dance” between two strangers seem far less mysterious.
And then it all died, you know the drill. So what do game guys since the death of Mystery Method talk about?
They front load their ability to attract by looking good. Not just physically through diet, exercise, and clothes – but also socially and financially. With the visual covered, the behavioral component is to “Act Alpha” (bro!). So this is “Mode One”, “Emotionally Honest”, “Being a Man and not beating around the bush”.
This return to being a “real man” basically flies in the face of everything learned in the late 90’s/early 00’s.
If you’re a long time reader of WIA, you know this whole meathead approach to the game bothers the hell out of me.
I’ve been around that my entire life. That’s the epitome of black athlete “game”.
We haven’t talked much about black guy game, so let’s do that now
Black Athlete Game – Look big. Be muscular. Be tall
Gangsta Game – Look intimidating
Baller Game – These are the guys popping bottles.
Dancing Guy Game – This is the guy in the middle of the dance floor trying to grab on to any chick close by
Alternative Black Guy Game – Alternative is relative, but this is the guy wearing H&M when everyone else is in Jerseys. Or when everyone is fashionable, he is ULTRA fashionable. The type of guy that
This should be in your memory banks if you go to urban events. Most guys there try to fit in to one of those categories – but most of the time they fail because they don’t go all the way. Halfway crooks.
Now for non-black guys that decide to go the meathead route, they think they’ve unlocked some kinda cheat code. Maybe being a built white guy really works well in 90% vanilla environments, but not in black ones. (I don’t think it works that well for white guys either, but can’t really speak on that)
I know from years of being out there next to these genetic freaks who are more “alpha” than the guys pushing the bullshit – that it’s not even close to being a silver bullet. In a black club, being 6’+ and in shape is par for the course. And most black guys can at least do the same ol two step. A good looking black chick has her pick of black dudes like that.
Those athletic dudes actually clean up in white clubs because they’re selling Mandingo. (I’m not linking anything here, lol. This is a family blog!) And that’s only if Big Black Buck know how to get past the security, and flex his muscles on the low at the chick but not at the dudes, and tap into a chick’s dark fantasies. (I’d like some Frantz Fanon here, but not trying to lose y’all with too much stuff)
How do these chicks choose?
Black Chicks (or any girl that’s used to black clubs) end up fixating on these dudes faces. All the muscles in the world, chiseled jaw and all, can’t help a busted face.
What about the G’s?
I’m never surprised if some of these cats have a real rep in the streets either. I know I’ve bumped into the wrong dudes before. The idea that chicks like gangsters is a gross simplification of the dynamic. Corner boy don’t get Amber Rose, that’s for the kingpin, and only if the kingpin is sloppy.
It goes back to what women get off on.
They ain’t watching Brazzers, they’re reading 50 Shades. They’re reading Zane. They’re not seeing, they’re envisioning. That’s why historically men lie and women use make up.
Each gender plays their strengths against the weakness of the other.
What’s a player to do? I’m close to 6 feet, but I don’t have the physique of an athlete.
Yet, I’m in my 40’s and my last chick was a cute 23 year old.
It ain’t cause I have a six pack. Being six pack thin would not get me anything at an after work bar. They can’t see those muscles under a dress shirt.
I could always go direct. There some girls that find my mug attractive right off.
Let’s call that the 10% – the green lights.
Then there are girls that if I came at them in anyway, they’d be NO. The red lights, another 10%
That leaves the 80%.
The central idea of game is not that your personality and behavior can “compensate” for your lack of physical good looks. Now, the idea is that your behavior makes you attractive.
You guys that go out and see the pretty boys, tall boys, meatheads talk to chicks – and see the eyes of the women go from ecstatic to bored – understand this intuitively.
Now these dudes have everything going for them looks wise, and they go in direct. In a black club, sometimes the neanderthals will just put their paws on a chick and try to pull her close. Whatever currency he had as a fit black man, he loses for being a gorilla.
So direct only gets you so far. And it always puts the ball in the girl’s court. She decides.
What happens if you approach a girl and just start talking to her. You don’t ask for her name, for any information, to dance, to go with you, if she wants a drink – NONE OF THAT. You just talk to her.
Is that indirect game? That you basically b.s. with a chick, see if she likes you, and then ask for to dance, for her #, her name, to have your children?
No. That’s delaying your direct approach.
Even if she gives you the silent greenlight to talk to her, and ask her something – something she’s likely to say yes to – she’s still in the driver’s seat.
The game hasn’t changed at all.
You need to change the game.
Let’s loop back the early 00’s. What the PUA guys discovered was that guys that were “naturally” good with women – got the women to chase them. The man presented so much value to the chick IN THE INTERACTION that she wanted more from him.
The value? Novelty. She hasn’t dealt with a guy that’s interesting to her, but not interested in her.
So this was the indirect style. The chick had to invest, had to prove herself to him, in order for him to validate her.
She might very well think as the dude steps up,
“I’m not interested in some 40 year old that’s not 6’3″…but I’ll entertain him because I’m bored”
He baits her, pushes her away, says they won’t work out, does things that are outrageous and before she knows it – she wants to talk to him. All that stuff about his appearance washes away. She’s into him because he delivers the feelings. The emotional roller coaster.
That’s indirect. He’s attracting her in an indirect fashion.
So let’s recap
Look Good and Ask the girl for something – Direct. She still has the power
Look Good and talk to a girl, wait for her to be in to you, and then ask her for something – Direct, She still has the power
Look Good and talk to a girl, wait for her to be in to you, and push her away. Make her ask you for something – Indirect. You have the power. You’re calling the shots.
What can I say about Dark Triad that hasn’t been extensively written about by guys who’ve spent far more time on it than I have.
Google says the best person on it is this guy. I know the concept from Red Pill Forums and their 2 of the big R’s.
We were talking a bit about on McQueen’s forum today, so that’s what got me to think thinking about it today.
For those unfamiliar, Dark Triad Game is using the 3 “bad” psychological traits to your romantic advantage.
Narcissism – Ultraconfidence without justification
Machiavellian Behavior – Seeing people and situations as a chess board, and manipulating them for your own gains
Psychopathy – Lack of empathy, lack of remorse, lack of fear.
Together the 3 combine like Voltron and make you a master player. Or so it’s thought.
I don’t think trying to emulate a Dark Triad guy is the way to go about it – but I cannot deny that going this route gets you girls. I actually think it’s worse than paying for it = but that’s my moral judgment. You’re allowed to think and pursue whatever you want. It’s your life.
And for the thinking player, you can read those traits and see how they fit into the game perfectly.
The downsides to Dark Triad Game
Narcissism – Very fragile when it comes to criticism
Machiavellian Behavior – You don’t connect with people on a truly emotional level
Psychopathy – Not feeling empathy for the girls you go attempt to go out with, or go out with – can land you in a heap of trouble
That’s how it’s framed in contemporary pick up lit. How do I see it though?
Like anything else discussed online, I see it as a tool.
Confidence without justification is the essence of fake it till you make it.
Seeing people as parts in some great machine is not dehumanizing, but rather it considers human society as an organism unto itself.
Both the lack of fear and lack of empathy are core. Lack of fear, means that you approach.
Lack of empathy is trickier – but the key here is to recognize that guys play out a losing scenario in their minds before they even talk to a girl.
It is their empathy, putting themselves in the shoes of strangers, and assuming that if the man steps up, she’s going to be hurt and bothered.
So overall I don’t really have problems with bringing these ideas into the style of game that I suggest. Though I hate economic and war metaphors, in this case, the market rewards a guy that understands what these things are. The man that is confident, that understands what motivates people, and also gets over “leadership discomfort” – ends up running things.
This scenario came up over at Rollo’s. I was writing something longer, but I’m figuring out it’s better to just put something out rather than fiddle with it.
The original scenario is a guy in a long line at the grocery store. One of the cashiers seems to give him some “rhythm”, and he wanted to know what to do with it.,,,,
If you’re in the line at the grocery store and notice a cute cashier giving you the eye, which makes you want to run some game.
You’re too damn thirsty
(unless you’re in high school and this girl is also in high school, elsewise you’re too damn thirsty…)
But If you do happen to notice that girls are giving you signals,
You’ve got a good eye
In order to make this happen, you have to understand the social constraints, the social dynamics of the work situation.
Let’s think about other common situations and think those through.
If you were at a bar at night, and she was a shot girl.
If you were at a strip club, and she was a dancer
If you were visiting a client and notice one of the admins
All of these require understanding the culture and the social aspects. A girl working during the night life is very used to getting hit on. So she has a lot of resistance to “real connection”.
Furthermore, hospitality industry girls typically go out with people in their own industry. (Known Quantities, Vetted Guys, Closed Social Circle). Them Vegas boys living the dream don’t smash chicks coming in from Sheboygan. They leave their engineering jobs during the day to be bar backs so that they can be PEERS with strippers and hot cocktail waitresses.
When “industry girls” don’t do that, they meet guys in civilian clothes. Guys they meet at work? That’s money. They see the guy not as a beta provider (best case scenario) just more tips for the night. (A sucker)
Need more evidence? Date some strippers. They often end up “exploring” their sexuality or getting with guys that shock their conscience after dealing with so many guys just handing over cold hard cash for next to nothing.
Now a cute cashier isn’t a battle scarred stripper. So if a cute cashier makes it known that she’s checking for you. Keep some things in mind.
She’s breaking feminine protocol by letting you notice her.
Typically, Girls only let themselves be seen checking you out if you’re sufficiently attractive enough to warrant her miniscule loss of social status. (or she’s drunk and the real Gal Gadot comes out.) A girl that pursues is generally “low status” – take note of the quotes, meant to suggest that status is relative, not absolute. And not low status to men, but low status to who really counts – other women. The most cutting things girls say to each other about being sluts. Indeed, what her friends think of her, are often more important to her than what her family thinks, what society thinks, what *she* thinks of herself. That’s one of the reasons why most pimps have a stab…..(nope, don’t know anything about that. Go read some literature on the subject)
But even if she breaks “girl code”
She’s not breaking her work role just yet.
If any of you have ever managed young ladies, if she’s particularly attractive, don’t be surprised if she’s unreliable. And put those chicks on the floor, a lot of them aren’t particularly into the bs jobs they work. (Same bs jobs the guys work..)
Just cause the chick is eternally bored, doesn’t mean she’s going to hop all over you. And the fact that she has “work”, means that she can use a convenient reason to shut you down.
If you were really and truly hot (OMG I want his babies right now), she’d stop what she was doing to get your attention.
When a chick is truly on the hook, she moves stuff out of the way.
Guys seem to get that after the bang or when the chick knows that other chicks are trying to get at him, but it’s rare that an avg guy -the 99% of us who aren’t Brad Bieber Clooney – gets that.
In this case, what you got is a signal. As usual, a girl will give you a “green light” signal when she actually has *all* the leverage in the situation. She can shut things down whenever she wants to.
From the outset, and even with top game advice, this is a low probability pull because you don’t have the time and she’s not in the mindset.
For example, A chick with a boyfriend can give you all sorts of signals. Boyfriend could be standing right there, fuming, trying to contain himself.
Well of course she can flirt and get you riled up and him riled up – because some chicks like to toy with guys. For her there’s no downside, because a normal guy would respect the other guy’s ownership. Chicks love that sort of dynamic.
Rules bind you, but not her.
In this work situation, the social rules allow you to talk to her, but you can’t go hard because
The other customers
Her boss, and
General “I don’t want to look like the slut that I truly am”
If you say the wrong thing, at worst security will be summoned, at best, you have to avoid her line next time you show up.
So there are a lot of plays here, but for the most part – you don’t have a lot of LEVERAGE over her. And game is about LEVERAGE.
If you’re a pretty boy, tall, muscles, well dressed – you’re probably the 5th guy today that’s been in her line that has all of that. You can do some butter knife stuff like ask for her #, and you might or might not get it.
She can only say YES, or something other than YES (anything other than yes = no). And even in that situation, if the chick is young and hot enough – getting her attention in the smartphone/tinder/instagram/social media age will be nigh impossible.
So how do you make her want you to ask for her #, or better yet volunteer her #? How do you flip the situation from her being the buyer to her being the seller?
For a low low price of 19.99….lol
Let’s think about this scenario given what we already know about the game.
If you had 15 minutes to 3 hours to days to work on the chick – then you run the typical indirect game where you engage her, get her talking, and then withhold your validation of her until she proves herself. (Mystery Method in an efficient nutshell)
But you don’t have that sort of time. You have to make a strong impression is how the new player thinks. The veteran thinks differently.
Now a lot of average guys want to hit chicks with something clever or funny. If you were Dave Chapelle, maybe you could elicit a belly laugh. However there’s no leverage there either. (Very few comedians have smoking hot wives. Despite having fame, money, and “being a guy with a good sense of humor” FYI)
What would make her want to hang out based on a 4-5 minute interaction?
That’s the question.
A solution that I mentioned on the blog was to
Grab a box of wine/6 pack
Banter with the people in the line
When you get to her, bring her into the discussion (and break her out of straight cashier mode)
Logistics (When’s your shift over, etc)
Qualify her (Are you spontaneous?)
Ask the buying question (I’m having a party, it’s gonna be so dope,
And then you can ask her if she doesn’t volunteer.
That was the blog comment solution.
The things to understand here is not the “solution”, but the thought process. It requires having empathy with the girl
(WTF? WIA is going soft?!! Fuck that dude – Red Ink for Red Pill.)
I know, I know. A huge part of why dudes fuck up in the game is too much empathy. I’m asking you to put yourself in her shoes to understand where she is emotionally. Bored, Tired, Maybe her Feet Hurt. If she’s young, chances are she’s always looking for something more engaging. At the same time, she has these various norms to work against. So use that to your advantage.