What is the Skill Set?

Before you can really pull a lot – you need to have your base organized.

The Base Line

  • Are you healthy?
  • Are you physically fit?  If you aren’t fit yet, are you working on it?
  • What’s your hygiene game looking like?
  • When’s the last time you went to the dentist?
  • What do your nails look like?
  • Without cologne, do you smell like a good body soap and deodorant?
  • What’s your style like?  If you’re strictly into white tees and Air Jordans – are they clean?
  • What part of town do you live in?
  • How is your home set up?  Does it look like you are still in a college mindset?
  • What does your spot smell like?
  • If you need a car where you live, is it a nice car? Is it a cool car?  Is it clean?
  • What do you with your time during business hours?  Are you employed?  Are you self employed?

Now, if your psychological approach to pulling women is TIGHT – the less and less of this stuff you need.  Think Lester Diamond.

Casino is one of the best movies about “game” that isn’t about game.  I’ve talked about Lester before – but you had the super alpha Joe Pesci character, and the traditional boss/money man Robert Deniro character.  Pesci and Deniro could have the body – but Lester had the mind.

I’m getting off topic here.

What is the basic skill set for the pick up artist, the player, the man with game (all 3 different people in my mind)

  1. Given where you are – do you know where to find girls?  Wherever you are in your self-development journey (lol) – you’re much more potent when a girl is face to face with you.  Things that are hilarious in person, aren’t funny via text.
  2. His own logistics – If things go right (and they will) – do you have a smooth exit planned? The player knows where his car is. He has Uber on speed dial.  He has some libations and entertainment at his home. (I personally keep a big fat Bible on my night stand).  So before he says one word to the girl, as soon as the signs look good, he can get out her out of that sinful environment of the bar or club and into a more wholesome environment, seamlessly.
  3. Approach Anxiety – A new player has to push himself to talk.  Approach Anxiety never goes away – it just stops being the thing that stops you.  There are lots of ways to overcome AA – but it’s the real first hurdle in a player’s game
  4. Opener – The better you get, the more you realize the opener is just an excuse for a man to open his mouth.  A veteran can open with anything.  A compliment, an insult, an observation, something about the environment. It’s rare (like lottery ticket rare) that the content of your first words are going to make a girl fall in love that night.  But having something to say – even if it’s canned or commonly said – the only point of the opener is to start the conversation.  “Hey” is a good one.
    1. Keep it Light – That being said – a new player wants to start the conversation off right – and not go to heavy/serious topics that will pull the interaction down.
    2. Volume – You will learn to be loud.  You will speak slower. You will enunciate.  And you will not end on an upward tone like you were asking a question (even if you are asking a question)
    3. Eye Contact – This can go either way, but when you’re learning – direct eye contact is the way to go.  The better you get, the more you realize that eye contact is a powerful weapon to be deployed
    4. Body Language – Is supposed to be like you’ve done this a million times, even if you never have.  So that means relaxed, like you were talking to one of your boys.
  5. Keeping a straight face – After those first few words a woman can be warm, she can be cold, she can be hurtful, or she can be indifferent.  She can pretend not to have heard you – etc.  This is where guys kick themselves out of a pull.  They expect a certain reaction – don’t get it – and then they get flustered and eject.  The key here is after you deliver the opener – you maintain eye contact and let her fill the silence.  Give it some time – and then it’s the next step
  6. The Follow Up – Whatever you start with – whatever he reaction – the 90/10 rule is in effect.  You’re going to have to maintain most of the conversation at the very beginning until – she opens up and wants to chat.  So whatever you open with – you have to have an idea of where it goes/what the possible responses are – and where you can go after.   So if you open with “Hey, I wanted to meet you.”  You’re going to get a handful of typical reactions to that direct type of opener.  Positive, Negative, or indifferent.  If she opens positive – the player has a plan.  If she opens negative – the player
  7. Ice is Broken – Now What – So you’ve gotten her chatting – what next?
    1. Regular guys vibe – they keep the conversation going – to basically nowhere.
    2. Guys that are “good with women” use this opportunity to flirt.  So if you’re having a nice chat about the weather – you say the cold weather is obviously doing something to her. Her mind will go one way, to the most obvious thing.  And before that thing in her mind can go to her lips – you say that her nose is getting red because it’s cold.
    3. What do players do – THEY GET HER SITUATION
  8. Getting Her Logistics – You want to figure out why she’s at the venue, who she’s with (pretty girls rarely go out alone), what she has planned for the night, what she has planned for the morning.
    1. So what are you doing out on a school night
    2. Who’d you come with?  Lemme meet your friends
    3. You drinking, or are you the designated driver?
    4. I stay close to here, what side of town are you on?
  9. Flirting and Verbal Escalation– There are plenty of books on this, mostly written by women for women – but the essence of flirting is that you go from some neutral conversation to talking about the person.  Complimenting on the one hand, teasing on the other.  This is the stuff of Rom Com’s – and you should be watching those to understand *how* women think romance starts. It’s not how it actually starts – but if you adhere to the script in her mind, that’s been put there by Hollywood and all of her friends – you can use that to your advantage.  This is where whatever nascent attraction that you established by being able to get into a conversation with the girl  – starts to become “amorous” in nature.
  10. Handling her problems – This is what separates the rookies from the old hands.  If you’re really really attractive and the girl is really really independent – she’ll do all of the work for you.  A lot of you guys are dealing with the under 25 set – so you’ve got more things to work out.  Once they get to a certain point – there is a lot more cooperation.
    1. Meet the friends
    2. Figure out where she lives
    3. Figuring out how you can get her into a cab and out to a diner.
  11. Pull – A player has broken the ice, he’s flirted and got her curious, figured out what her issues were, solves those issues, and from the very beginning had his location and exit planned out – it’s time to leave.    A simple “You ready to go?” is usually all it takes.   I’m not going to get deep into “trust” for this post – but the game is truly played in “comfort” – now that she’s attracted – is she comfortable being with you?

You get her out of the venue and into a cab/uber/your car/your place that is a block away – that’s pretty much it.   You jump in the ride, get to your spot, shoes off, and crank up the Gospel cause it’s time to pray.

This would be a textbook pull with the typical text book problems.

What about Laser Eyes, Cutting Space/Invading her space, Seeding the Bounce, Time Bridge, Time Dilation, Trust Building, cold feet, dealing with the mother hen in her group, Swedish Massage stuff –  Those are all areas to be ironed out and optimized based on your style of game.

A very efficient guy will sniper a particular girl, use heavy eye contact, close the physical gap, invade her physical space to the extent that she feels his strength, smells his cologne and touches his skin – almost immediately.   He’ll propose an after party before they’ve even discussed what she’s doing that night.

A guy that’s more choosy will follow the basic guideline but spend more time trying to figure out if the girl is worthy of him.  Not qualifying her as some gambit – but really asking himself if this girl is worth sharing himself with.

This is the skill set

Day Game vs Everyday Game

  1. When I think of game, my mind goes to a bar or club.  I’m thinking of where to go to tonight, and what are my “after party” options.

My game is essentially

  • Bar/club hop
  • Connect with a chick
  • Get her out of the venue to a new venue
  • Get her back to my place to read the Bible. (this is a Family blog!)

I’m basically all about night game.  Night game means you’ve got girl density and girl propensity.  Lots of chicks, and lots of them down to party.  Now do they necessarily want to party with me?  That’s what game is for.

That being said, there are tons of opportunities to make connections outside of these “socially sanctioned times and places to socialize”.

As an alternative to bars and dance clubs, there are “softer” events.

Down tempo night game stuff like – Restaurant Bars, Whisky/Wine Tastings, Museums, Art Shows – it’s pretty much night game, but lite.  So you have the propensity to socialize, but the crowd is older and usually more laid back.

A step up from that is street game in the party district.

In these areas, girls are open to talking to random dudes on the street.  The infamous talk to a chick waiting for an Uber, and then jump in the car with her is sort of in this vein. (or convince random Uber Pool user to go with you instead of going to whatever lame event they’re going to)

For hardcore night game guys, there’s usually a pre-party spot where chicks are ramping up for the club, but still have that low key approachability but also propensity to be social.

What day game offers is much more approachability, but not so much propensity for romance.

I talk about this in the book. If you aren’t autistic, you understand that during the day, most people are going about their daily business.

I know that during my morning commute I don’t want to deal with anything. By lunch, I’ll generally more sociable. At the end of the day, I’m dying to deal with people that I choose to deal with.

I’m typical. There are some true extroverts out there that get a charge from dealing with strangers – but that is not the norm.

As a side note, the best way to do a morning approach during the work rush is to take advantage of the scene and use an environmental opener.

Taking the morning rush out of the equation, the rest of the day is usually more social for everyone.

And that’s what Day Game offers new guys.  Girls are, oddly, more willing to talk to random guys during the day.  That’s part of modern life, talking to strangers as you go about your day.

But if you’re in anyway sane – you know that these little chats are anything but conversations.

  • Excuse me
  • When’s the train coming
  • I believe you’ve stolen my purse

The premise of day game is that you can start a “man-to-woman” conversation during the day as she goes about her business.  This basically slams you into the “propensity” problem.

Sure you can flirt – you can push and pull – you can have your best stories, your sharpest jokes – but the chick is like

DUDE WRAP IT UP B, I GOT TO GO BACK TO WORK.

So day game in real life for guys with regular schedules, who aren’t living on passive income, or who’s livelihood his pick up – the interaction has to be something that’s short and sweet that either leads to

  1. A nearby Instadate
  2. A solid #

If you’re running mall game, day time street game in a place with a lot of people, on the weekend – the “formal” Instadate is a possibility.

So there are two plays here.

The new school play – especially for you young cats – Social Media Close.  I’m a little long in the tooth to be posing with Tigers in Thailand or Surfing in Bali.  You young dudes? *by young I mean you can pass for less than 35*  Get that chicks Insta/Twitter/Facebook.  And then follow one of them new gurus on how to create a Fear of Missing Out lifestyle for this chick.

But I’m old school

The old school idea is to make a big emotional impact on the girl – within that 300 seconds – something pushes her to “keep in touch with you”

I broke it down on the thread for the homie Basket Bounce, but I’ll touch on it here as well.

  1. This is the typical day game set up
  2. You’re going about your day as usual.
  3. You see the chick, looking nice.
  4. Approach from the proper angle
  5. Use your opener
  6. Push and Pull to give her that Man to Woman Vibe
  7. Get her logistics and know yours cold

So where a lot of guys try to go romance or try to get “straight to the point” or make her laugh and leave on a high note – what the player goes for is something that will leave a “stain on her brain” as my my Guru used to say

The people we meet and remember – sometimes do something incredible themselves – but more often they say things to us – that stick in our minds.

You guys know I love a good cold read, a good Barnum Statement… That’s why part of your media diet should include anything mystical/girly/astrological.  Chicks love “personality” quizzes – because it tells them about their favorite subject – themselves.

Look at the latest women centered magazine next time you’re picking up your ground turkey and broccoli (eat clean Bro!).

That’s your key insight.  Whatever is on the cover of a gossip rag or Cosmo.  Those people have keyed in on what makes women BUY. Use their knowledge.

Here’s a free one, “I bet sometimes you’re so sure of yourself, but a lot of the time, you doubt yourself”

A statement like that begs for more analysis.  And that’s the HOOK.  She’s not gonna think about how dreamy you are when you leave – but she will think about HERSELF and what you said about her, when you’re no longer in her presence.

  • Like I said on the board
  • Strong emotional read
  • Motion to leave
  • Don’t go
  • It’s cool, I don’t even know your name.

Let her invest by moving first, getting your name, giving her name, and then pushing her # on you.

If she’s not pushing the # on you – chances are so-so on it being a good #.

She needs a reason to call you, and it can’t be for you to play Pizza Delivery Guy in an iPhone budget “art film”.

Give her a reason.

-Archie

 

The Problem with Patrice O’Neal

The TL:DR

Patrice had Game, so fucking chicks in Brazil didn’t hurt him.  A lot of other guys don’t have game, aren’t even aware of game, and it basically destroys them.

_______________________________________________________

Why am I even talking about this?

Stemming from the last post, I maintain that overwork is the worst thing that can happen to your game.  I did mention that Prostitution wasn’t as bad as overwork.

God damned P Word.  I totally understand why forums ban any discussion of P4P.  You can’t even make reference to it, not even as an aside.

Why?

P4P brings out the worst in regular dudes, and also attracts the worst kind of dudes.

Mongers are worse than “blue pill betas”.  In my mind, they’re worse than the Red Pill Mouth Breathers.  You sort of need to get to a higher level of game to understand why these guys are bad, but P4P sucks the air out of the room.  It’s like those guys who are constantly stressing MONEY vs BITCHES.  At least in that debate, you can mention opportunity cost to shut those guys up – but a contingent of them are always on some bullshit like “You’re always paying, no matter what”

But y’all know that I already hate this whole cadre of guys.  I ban them from my site and don’t interact with them on other sites. Fuck those dudes.

So back to the question about what prostitution does to your game, and it not being as bad as overwork – we get to the curious case of Patrice O’Neal.

From a “spitting game to chicks but also keeping your self respect” p.o.v – which is the basic default philosophy of the Black Man’s Game – Patrice is our patron saint.   Him and Dante dispensed some of the greatest player insight in recent years.  They weren’t deep in the pimp game like say Chester Himes or Donald Goines.  That level of game is overkill for those of us who just want to hang out with a chick for a few nights.   Patrice aka Black Phillip – hits guys with the right level of mindset so that they can then think differently and make behavioral changes.

That is the key to game.

You think differently about something.  You then can feel differently about it.  The emotions take over the rest of your body language in the short term, and in the long term your overall behavior with respect to some aspects in your life change.

Guys understand why going out on a regular basis is important.  You want to build up “reference” experiences.  Tangible things you can remember to avoid, and things you can remember to pursue.

Journaling (better than blogging imo) helps you to think about those things in a more crystalline way, and returning to your old writings allows you to reflect and correct.

So that’s part of what Patrice offered.

And he did so in two ways.  The lesser effective way is just breaking down the situation.  The more effective way is through narrative.  By telling stories from his life, things that have a beginning, middle and end…a premise, a conflict, a resolution – he can teach better.

A few stories stick out in my mind with Patrice.

The one about his girl at the time asking him which side of the bed he likes to sleep on, in order to manipulate him into giving her his side is a great one.  To paraphrase

Girl – “What side of the bed do you like to sleep on?”

Patrice – “The right side”

Girl “But if you sleep there, i can’t watch TV”

Patrice then breaks down the situation where the woman essentially knew where he slept, and where she wanted to sleep, but didn’t want to create a situation where she would have to ask a plain question and risk him saying no to her.  This sort of manipulation is “game”, but it’s bad game.  If the person feels like they’re being manipulated, then it fails.

That was an epiphany for me, and I started to see my girl at the time, do all sorts of “face saving/ego protection manipulation of me all the time.

Now, before you in-the-closet Red Pill Mouth Breathers start to rail off on “these broads” – My chick wasn’t some conscious operator moving pieces on a chess board.  In our culture, women are taught how to do this.  Not to get all Ed Kempner, but when you lack physical strength to get what you want, you use other strengths.

But Patrice had some other stories that stuck with me.

I think you know the one,his Brazil adventures.

Starts @ 1:18 – This is a brilliant rant.  Can’t stand the chicks the broads in this.  But he tell us that Brazil turned him into a super hero.

In this one, he actually explains what happened in Brazil.

This is a great little tidbit on top notch girl game.  A chick can get far more out of a man by letting him tap into his “natural” desire to provide for him.

But

He’s bragging about flying into Brazil to bang 3rd world hookers.  Not only brag, but try to get other guys to go on what are essentially whoremonger trips.

In general, outright trading money for P, in the West, destroys your ego.  Often guys who resort to pro’s – their egos are destroyed and their self esteems as well.  I’m not exactly sure why guys think prostitution is worse for your game than pornography – but that’s the basic rule in the community.

Get with a paid whore and lose your mojo.

#NOTALLTRICKS

That’s why overwork is worse.

YaReally used to talk about this in terms of player motivation.

There are guys that are in it for the thrill of the chase (TOTC).  The journey is the reward.

And then there are guys that are in it for the pleasure of sex.  The end point of the journey is the reward.

Guess who’s nascent game gets hurt by prostitution? The TOTC type guys.

I’ve mentioned on the forum, some of the naturals I came up with or met later in life – we’re not using game because they enjoyed turning a stranger into a lover – some of them were very much addicted to sex.  So regular girl or hooker – it didn’t matter.  Ugly or fat, no difference.  Keep banging the same chick, that’s fine, as long as they got theirs.  They didn’t need variety, they didn’t like the “turn”, they just wanted to put P into V.  The hunger was always there, and ever consuming.  These men were basically slaves to their desires, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  Addicts.

If they got an escort on Tuesday, they could still sweet talk the next chick on Wednesday.  They still had the mentality, still knew the steps, still could read the women, still had the desire to go through the process – because they could get what they wanted at the end.

The square who doesn’t even know about game, or the new guy struggling with game goes to an escort – and he realizes how much easier it is to just fork over a credit card and have some porn star look alike giving him the girlfriend experience – and he’ll never try to pull a regular woman again.  Or so he thinks.

There was a post on the newb board from a virgin who wanted to fly to the Philippines and get a hooker.  Sure he’ll get laid.  He could do the same in the states.  There are devices that he can use on himself that will simulate the act – why even fly?

But veterans of the game understand that for most of us – this isn’t about P into V. We aren’t sex addicts.  It’s not just that convenience store nachos aren’t a replacement for learning how to cook.

It’s that at the core of a lot of guys getting into game – they’re egos need to be validated.  That doesn’t come through trading money for sex – but taking a beautiful stranger, interacting with her, and having her genuinely like them.

It’s the affirmation of self, I am important, I matter, I am sexy, I am worthy.

-Archie

 

 

Worst Thing You Can Do To Your Game?

The usual suspects

  • Is it porn? No
  • Visiting Prostitutes? No
  • Get into a relationship? No.
  • Get dumped? No.
  • Get Married? No.
  • Have Kids? No.
  • Get divorced? No.
  • Drugs and Alcohol? No
  • Moving to a military base or an Oil Field? No, but that’s up there.
  • Leaning on your money and lavish lifestyle to attract girls? Getting close, but no.

The absolute worst thing you can do to your game is

WORK TOO DAMN MUCH.

I usually am between 40-50 hours, but I’ve chosen to bump back up to 60-70 hours per week.

I remember the first time I traded my free time for additional dollars.  It didn’t go well.  In theory I could run through some of the staffers in nearby buildings, but after being on my feet 6 days a week and yapping at contractors – I have no energy to talk to chicks.

So that’s what happened to the blog for the past 2 weeks.

Aside from that, I’ve been writing the book in the morning, more like rewriting, and rethinking.  But the progress is steady.  No George RR Martin over here.

Back to the work thing

When you don’t have energy

When the work takes time out of your day

Your ready game is diminished.

It’s getting colder here in the Northern Hemisphere so Fall/Winter is a good time to step up your work out game as well as your stack money efforts – but there is definitely a cost.

-Archie

 

Social Media Closes and Passive Game

Work is about to ramp back up, so I’m going to try a different style of posting.

These are my notes form them RSD boys on social media.

So you don’t have to watch the whole thing. (Arch did that, so hopefully you don’t have to do that)

Key Insights

Why Social Media Game?

These guys don’t answer the exact question – but let’s just go through this a bit before we get to the nitty gritty.

The game that I push – is using applied psychology in one-on-one or group interactions OFFLINE.  In short, I talk my way into good situations.  To learn this stuff, you need a decent model of how people think and behave in most situations.  You also need reference experiences.

A non-game example would be selling Girl Scout Cookies outside of a Marijuana Dispensary.   I know that people that like to smoke weed, also get the munchies.  So if I go to where people are buying weed, I can make some sales versus just offering cookies on the side of some random road.

I see street hustlers carry umbrellas in their inventory on a daily basis.  They cost 5 dollars when it’s sunny, and 10 dollar when it’s raining.

This is understanding human psychology.  There is a reason that the baker keeps his doors open, even though changing the humidity in his shop can change how the bread rises.  That smell of fresh baked bread brings in people who want to suddenly now want a croissant.

In all 3 of these advantages, the people are using what they know about people and their particular habits, and giving other people OPTIONS to act on those habits.  They apply psychology to do so.  This is the basis of all business, all politics, and arguably most other spheres in life.

So right now, the advanced countries are marching towards being digital citizens.  Everything that’s important to them, is now online.  In a sense, it’s not really “real”, but in another sense – it’s very real.  Business people are making BILLIONS of dollars in real cash money because they can attract eyeballs and likes.

Now just cause you catch a like, or grab an email, doesn’t mean much in and of itself – but just like the Girl Scout outside of the Dispensary – we want to put ourselves in places where girls are and grab their attention.

The girl scout can obviously put her little table anywhere, and anyone who passes by can purchase a box of cookies.  But, if she puts herself in a place with likely buyers – she can sell more cookies.

That’s why modern day players are going online.  Instead of being outside of a weed shop, their pictures are on the phones of thousands of girls – because that’s where the attention of girls ARE.

The point of Social Media Game is putting ourselves where the girls are.

So how do these guys break it down?

Closing is simple

How hard is to get her to follow you and to follow her? Easy.

The phone # has connotations.  Luke and Max argue that even though you’re gonna hit her with text based messages, for whatever reason it’s better when it comes through an app rather than through SMS.

After you get the contact, then what?

Outsourcing and Automation of Messaging Girls

To promote a party, Luke (the big dude) outsourced his messaging to Indian virtual assistants.  The strategy was to start with a core group of girls, and then expand to a non-core group by having their VA’s send messages.

To bring girls into his actual life for the purpose of promoting his business – Max used his personal assistant.  The assistant would target girls by location and send messages to those girls for social media mentoring, parties, and appearances.   So an “opener” is sent, and when the girl responds with questions – they send answers.   Initially, he had to do this himself, but after a while – most of these girls would ask the same questions and require the same answers to get them out.  They then created a spreadsheet so that his VA could handle the whole process. (This is exactly what Tim Ferriss did in the Four Hour Work Week).

What to Do with these Chicks

Max doesn’t claim to bang these particular chicks based off of this, that would be too Harvey Weinstein.  But he’s now creating social proof and sexual-preselection with this initial investment.  It’s very much like Dan Bilzerian.  Maybe he paid those first set of chicks to hang out with him (not cash money, but access to his lifestyle) – and once publicized – other girls want to get in on the fun.

Max would then invite these chicks to a weekly party.  For you guys with a fat crib – this is a good way to advertise either a lifestyle game or a provider game.

 

Hidden Advantage of Systematic Outreach – Ego Protection

It’s no secret that online dating is tough for a man, and tougher for a man of color, especially if he wants to cross boundaries.  For the most part, women find 80% of the men to be below average.  And many women can be a racist as they want to be when it’s just swiping left and right.  (Not saying that they can’t be, it’s not like their yelling Japanese Supremacy when they ignore your DM’s.  But there’s a socially conditioned anti-response to curiousity, often built into the apps)

So it can be quite demoralizing to put your nice dating profile up, and get no hits and no messages.  If you’re sending messages yourself, 2 out of 100 responses can just kill you.

By outsourcing selection and messaging to a VA – where Max he only says yes or no, after the date is scheduled – he no longer deals with the hundreds of no’s and radio silence. How much more positive is he about women? About himself?

A lot of game lit is about, dealing with rejection, pushing through it.  A lot of students are always looking for “baby steps” to preserve their ego.  This is one of the rare times I say that guys need to compromise.  Avoid the online rejection when you can, and deal with the OFFLINE rejection.

 

The Dreaded Numbers Game 

I know that off line game is about skill, not randomly talking to large #’s of women with the hope that one of them chicks understands you.  Game isn’t a lock, but almost every institution in society is able to grab a big chunk of folks by understanding how they think.

So per Luke –  social media is a #’s game.  My interpretation is that with social media – the player has limited tools.  He has his image and his words to just send out – but he can’t tailor that on the fly to specific girls like he can live and in person.

With that in mind, Luke advises that you should not waste the time with custom messages

Max agrees with Luke and applies an internet business idea known as split testing, or A/B testing.   Create two messages about the same thing, and send to 50 girls.  If there’s a clear winner between A and B, use A.  And you can keep repeating this by changing the message, until you find a great one.

This has been explored in various books that hack OkCupid.  A man’s images are split tested on “Hot or Not”, and his profile is generated by creating multiple profiles and sending bots to hot girls.

The Goal of Social Media Contacts in a Game Context

Max says his goal with social media game is not to get her convinced to sleep with him via direct messages and text, but only to hang out.

It begs the question, can this be done? I submit that it can, because I’ve done it, but it’s a slow boil.

However, if you can build a wee bit of attraction and a whole lot of trust – getting a girl to agree (and actually come out) is way easier.  For us veterans, this is actually preferable than pulling a Netflix and Chill off Tinder – because some of these chicks might be cute, but not actually good people.

How do you build trust through social media?

It’s been said that the game is won through comfort.  Lemme explain that a bit.

So you’re out at the club, getting your little dance on.  A young Beyonce is feeling your vibe, and the rest of Destiny’s Children ain’t hating for once.  She’s got her arms around your neck, looking up into your eyes, and the vibe is right for you to make that physical connection.

At this moment, her attraction to the player is at least a 6 on the 10 scale.  And if you go out enough, getting that dancefloor make out is much easier than you initially thought.  You start to realize that girls do find you attractive, and her being hostile and indifferent can change to her being warm and amorous within 15-30 minutes.

What would it take to go from smooching on the dancefloor, to smooching at your place while watching Love Jones?

 

Trust. She has to trust you. She has to trust that you won’t hurt her, won’t embarrass her, that you won’t her friends.

Offline, how do we establish that?

We befriend her friends.  We introduce her to people we know.  We interact with 3rd parties.  When we touch, we don’t linger, we don’t try to “possess her”.  We let go before it becomes uncomfortable.  At the slightest sense of her being uncomfortable with contact, we stop.

So the message we send is that this very attractive guy can read her body language and reactions – so she doesn’t need to tell him to stop.

“He just knows, he gets it”

Offline – she sees how you behave towards her and towards others.  This doesn’t mean your “safe” like some suburban guy in middle management – but you’re not crazy and unpredictable like the homeless guy that lurches toward her aggressively begging. (unsafe)

She gets to see who you are, a thin slice. You spent 5-10 minutes heating her up enough to be kissed, but 90 minutes creating enough trust that she’s comfortable leaving the bar with you to go to your place to bake a cake. (shout out to Mufasa!)

With social media – through pictures you can convey the same and more.

Social media can build a bit of attraction (via her wanting to have the fun you’re having in the photos, not necessarily to you being stud muffin) and a whole lot of trust.

In terms of other guys – the player who is actively cultivating his social media is also doing far more than other guys.

RSD Max basically says that social media creates attraction and it demonstrates  high value. (We can talk about DHV, but this is a bastardization of the concept to some extent)

And instead of reading other people’s status, you’re creating content.

Content Creation

What does Max do?

  • He goes to gym? Documents
  • Good meal? Documents
  • Beautiful place with a nice view? Documents
  • On a Date, out with Friends?  Documents

Max’s goal is to show that he’s outgoing and has fun.   So he might just do a snapchat of him in traffic singing to one of his favorite songs.  That’s his angle.

He posts as much as possible, but at the same time he wants every post to be novel.   He also uses clickbait text to get people to click on his posts.  He noticed that with a lot of people doing this on Snapchat/Instagram Stories – it’s talking heads and folks get bored.  So he aims to engage.  Straight out of Nir Eyal’s Hooked.

In the past, Luke has actually said that he generates Fear Of Missing Out by doing cool things.  So he actively looks for opportunities, rather than passively documenting his life.

Guys Crying about Authenticity and Skepticism

 

Both of them address the naysayers who say it’s all about authenticity and organic connection.

Q – Archie, what if every guy starts doing this? Won’t the “trick” stop working?

A. The skeptic extrapolates over the whole male population – but most guys aren’t taking action AND there’s not a scarce resource of women at all.

We’re 10 years into the “Dating Apocalypse” (smartphones in 2007 + social media + dating sites + all of the other social ills).

Time is now.

This will be an ongoing discussion

-Archie

 

You Should Learn Direct Game First

This entire blog is about indirect game (pua/mm) and drawing in traditional game concepts (as in black man’s game, mack game, hustler game, pimp game) as well as how applied psychology works in other areas of life (leadership, sales, and advertising).

If you’re a guy that’s new to the game, and has never really explored or been attracted to direct game – the reason for indirect/applied psychology game is not very clear.

I mean indirect game makes sense in an intellectual way, but that fire to really work on your indirect game comes from giving direct game a try.

A lot of cerebral, smart, introverted guys are attracted to the things I talk about – because – it seems like they can basically learn some spells, hit the club, say the magic words, and in 2 hours they’re giving the chicks the Prince Yashua. (don’t google that name at work, Ladies. Because the fellas know who I’m talking about)

Indirect game has this false promise of not putting your ego at risk, and basically deploying your analytical skills in the art of meeting women.

Indirect game gives you an excuse not to be social – to stay the same person.

So within this paradigm – the new player stays basically the same, a guy who is not really that social.

Which is why DIRECT game is the medicine that he needs.

The new player needs to put himself out there, be aggressive, close as much as possible, put his ego at risk, put his precious self image out there for all to dissect…

What direct did for me was a few things

It unleashed the lion

To a large extent the “game” I thought I was running was placebo. I was getting success – not because I was really orchestrating subtle moves – but mostly because I was seriously interacting.  I went from the classic INTJ introvert to a guy that could be extroverted.

Introversion doesn’t mean shy – it means that you find social interactions draining.  Extroverts on the other hand are “anti-fragile”. The chaos of socializing makes them better.  And although most people rate themselves as extroverts – if you’re at a party – you can point out who the life of a party is.  Handful of people among dozens.

And once you take the chains off, once you put your toes in the water, what happens is that the existential fear disappears.

You get to breathe.  Often times, a quick little make over, 1 or 2 opening lines, and a guy is well on his way.  He can get the dates, he can talk to the cute girls, he might even get a shot at one of the chicks he dreams about.

It’s really only until you’ve seen what direct game has to offer, that you understand the value of indirect game.

Direct game is showing up, letting the world know that you’re ready, and getting to the point with the girls you meet.  There is little doubt in her mind what you are about.

Now the way Direct Game Guys present this – if you are basically honest with the chick on wanting to have a sped up sexual encounter – she’s relieved and sometimes finds your honest approach refreshing.

As a veteran, I can tell you that shaking what your Daddy gave you at a chick RARELY nets you the result that you want.  Most chicks do not respond to that unless it’s dark, she’s drunk, and you’re hot.

Whether you want to or not – Direct Game leads you to value DISCRETION.

Direct game actually teaches you more about how humans actually behave when presented with opportunities and scenarios than indirect does.  The guy that has done direct game, will intuitively understand why after he engages with the chick, he doesn’t just ask her to come home with him.

The woman has both a public face and private needs.  She has also publicized things that she wants in a man, and unpublicized ones as well.

So what direct game does for a young player is simple.  It’s a quick way to level up in terms of socializing and seeing social cues. Just like a girl will test your boundaries by taking a hat off your head – the man that swings to extroversion and tries to bring the side he shows his close family and friends to complete strangers – he levels up.  He is working with a lot more data.   He learns quickly how to bring value into an interaction.

He may also learn that expressing his interest before the chick shows her hand is not a tight strategy in comparison to waiting for her to buy in – which is the essence of indirect game.  I really think conditional game is a better way to describe what is happening….I digress

-Archie

Internal and External Implications of Pre-Selection

The scenario

You’re new to a city, this is your first few weeks of hitting the night life. You’re going out solo.

But you have something going for you.
Maybe you’re tall
Maybe you’re built
Maybe you’re short (which draws attention that you can flip)
Maybe you’re a stylish dresser

So you leverage your attention by mingling with individuals that like your style.

In the closed and artificial environment of a night club, sometimes people who are less social, who are dying to be more social, not drunk yet – they watch you having a good time with others.

You are seen having a good time.
Other people are seen having a good time with you.

So the way the mind works – you make others have a good time. In less technical speak – you’re the life of the party – the person who has the right emotions and the right ability to transmit those emotions to others – so they loosen up and have a good time.

That’s one aspect of social proof as it applies to the night game.

In practice, I talk to one group of 3 people about a topic of the day. Mary J Blige’s ex husband is suing her for more spousal support because he can’t live on 30,000 a month. You already know how this conversation is going to go. The pro’s and con’s.

There will be another group of people next to me, i’ll try my best to do this
1) start a debate between me and group #1
2) bring in group #2 to decide.

And now that we’re all in a conversation – i’ll introduce group #1 to group #2.

So that’s the practical.

Group #2 thinks I’m social because they watched me interact with group #1 and themselves.

People across the way, people not involved – sometimes notice that a discussion is being had. They can’t hear the conversation, but they can see the reactions.

If I cross the dance floor and chat up the next set of people

How do I know if they saw me kill it with the first two groups?

If they didn’t see me – do I have a social proof?

If I walk in with a stunner on my arm, but she goes to the powder room – does the next chick to look in my direction notice my pre-selection?

If a tree falls in the forest….

So the mechanism of social proof, in the night game context, is whether people see you being social.

If they don’t see you being social, you have no social proof.

If we were to graph his over time – if you keep going to the same spots – you’ll see that a good # of people also go the same time you do – so your “social capital” will build with them. They see you chat up 5 groups of people over 6 weeks – but you haven’t talked to them – they’ll give you social proof benefit when you show up by yourself and not talking to anyone. We’ve talked about this pseudo-social circle that exists in a club that can be made real through interaction in and outside of the club.

If people don’t see you – is there any in the moment benefit?

Yes there is.

Interacting with people gets you social – so that energy carries over to the next interaction.

And building up that reservoir over time – makes it easy to get into that first conversation

These benefits of socializing are not social proof, but they are internal benefits that affect your in-person game.

Pre-Selection is even better.

So the typical pre-selection scenario is that you come to a venue with a cuties or some cuties. People recognize that you’re a guy with chicks. Other chicks see you with your women, and just rank you higher – especially if the chicks you’re with give you good reactions and favorable body language. If you show up with a model and it looks like she doesn’t want anything to do with you (it can look pathetic, but you can spin it ) – that’s not as good as having a cute chick eating up whatever you’re selling.

So that’s the external benefit.

But if you’re used to having women, beautiful women in your life, you take that with you when she’s not on your arm.

You see guys do a lot of Number creep. A chick that was a 8 when they started, becomes a 6 – because beauty is common. Then it becomes an ego stroke fest in some guys who have unhealthy attitudes about women and poor self esteem themselves. The only girl that is not enough for them, are ones that don’t want to do anything with them. For those guys, they need a supermodel – which is a social marker more than some objective thing – in order to feel like they’re worthy. But they get the chick, she doesn’t make him feel like he thought he would feel – and now both of them have a problem.

For guys with healthy mindsets, imo, a nice external appearance is a given – so that looks are not enough.

That immunity to make up allows them to interact with very beautiful women as human beings.

She’s no longer a thing to be possessed. She’s just a person with somewhat symmetrical facial features and pleasing amounts of body fat well distributed.

The proverbial strip club owner has seen it all and has demystified the feminine mystique. He now looks to her personality and behavior. She can’t pull the shit on him that she normally pulls on other guys – because she’s powerless.

So having pre-selection, experience with beautiful women – ends up staying with you – and in the club when you’re spitting your game – you can be as ferocious as you need to with your Jackie Guerrido.

-Archie