This is standard PUA ad copy. But I think given some of the notables in our industry, keeping a hot girl around, dating her is very important to a lot of guys.
This desire to keep a hot girl as a girlfriend is what truly divides a PUA and a Red Pill Man.
This quote later in the thread is actually pretty good.
Chris Rock has a great stand up routine about this. He says: “Every woman has at least two men in her life, the guy she’s fucking and the guy she’s supposed be fucking, and a lot of guys are laughing right now because they don’t know which one they are.”
I used to answer this question the PUA way
- Cold Approach Skills is not enough to keep a girl interested.
- Look at yourself, do you have more than your pickup flow chart words? Which was essentially, do you have any LTR traits, aka Blue Pill/Beta Provider traits?
- Are you regaming her as necessary?
All the standard stuff, because at the core of the PUA’s existence, the woman is the prize to be won and kept.
Nowadays? I don’t see the upside of having a girl in your life all the time.
And as all of you well know, the less long term value that you put on a woman, and the more she understands that you do not see her that way, the more she wants to be put into that category – and has “pick me” behaviors to do so.
LOL.
The Pickmeisha is the bane of existence for a certain sort of woman. For the man, her behavior is a false promise. As soon as her talons sink in, she starts to rend the flesh.
Stay Strong Brothers
Archie
Well I think the issue is agency. You may see no reason to have a girl around all the time but these guys are struggling with wanting it and being unable to have it.
Not being able to get what you want – whatever that may be – is a problem.
Of course PUA is unable to hold these deals together. Eventually reality shines through, you can’t game her 24/7 for a year.
PUA self selects though. Majority of guys who take it up have some real issues that don’t go away once they start laying it down. Fake it till you make it ultimately fails if you never make it.
What I’ve seen over and over, you need to get right to make them stick. You need to stop acting and live a full Dynamic, Passionate and Authentic life. They will line up for that.
Of course you still have to manage them, check those innate and never far away testing behaviors. The hypergamous pings…
Maintenance.
Now of course most of these pUA guys want these girls to stick for a couple of reasons… A) they caught one and don’t want to have to keep fishing and B) validation. If they are being validated by the girl they are always going to be in an inferior position. And that will come through eventually.
> You may see no reason to have a girl around all the time but these guys are struggling with wanting it and being unable to have it.
Exactly right. This ^ is >80% of men… PUAs and “redpillers” both. Might be 90%.
“I am the prize” is empty BS (or wishful thinking) to these men. I have been there too. I have empathy for that position.
> Now of course most of these pUA guys want these girls to stick for a couple of reasons… A) they caught one and don’t want to have to keep fishing
The premise that PUAs want LTR is laughable. You were right in the first quote. Most men just want “something.” Anything. I have been there too.
And again, PUA/redpill/whatever:
Few men look forward to being back in the hunt again.
But since we’re on that topic, pickup guys are much more prepared for that than guys that “have a lot of truth” but never buckled down and got busy actually becoming successful with women.
All the standard stuff, because at the core of the PUA’s existence, the woman is the prize to be won and kept.
Lol…Wut?
Where does the “abundance mindset” fit in to this? “Woman is the prize to be won and kept” is just another variation on the Beta mindset. In other words, Blue Pill emoting. Solid Game means “I am the prize, maybe she can come along for the ride”.
And as all of you well know, the less long term value that you put on a woman, and the more she understands that you do not see her that way, the more she wants to be put into that category – and has “pick me” behaviors to do so.
In other words, fully accepting the Red Pill / The Glasses – seeing a woman for what she is, not what she or anyone else wants you to believe. That requires a man to remain within his own frame of reference, to have an unshakeable Frame. He allows her into his Frame, he doesn’t go running to live in hers. This is all basic stuff!
The obvious problem: PUA’s who remain Blue Pill and therefore self-Betaize. Lack of full understanding is the deeper problem for far too many men .
The Pickmeisha is the bane of existence for a certain sort of woman.
They are all girls. All girls want to be picked, and that statement about the $20 engagement ring just illustrates the fact.
Any man ever decides for his own reason to marry a girl one good test would be this engagement ring:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CccrDp5UsAAILqN.jpg
> Woman is the prize to be won and kept” is just another variation on the Beta mindset.
“I’ll do anything, how do I keep her??” – that is beta. It’s a loser’s mindset.
It’s begging. But keeping girls is legit… For ongoing sex or more. Even if that is a bit of effort – if it’s good, why throw it away.
> Solid Game means “I am the prize, maybe she can come along for the ride”.
Within what we might call pickup/seduction/Game… There are different types, with different skills/motivations.
What I call “solid game” is what I can build using the girl and myself as “raw materials.” What is the potential there? When I can consistently capture more of what is there, I’d say I am “running better game.”
For me, that means it’s not an endless exercise is “my frame.” It’s about how can I set both her and I up so we give our best performances? I am in charge, but it’s not about being in charge. It’s about my skill as a leader, and what we can make. If I have the skills to do that, across women, I am probably a very attractive man, I’ll bring in high quality women, and I’ll see their best sides.
> I don’t see the upside of having a girl in your life all the time.
Per the OP: I am not trying to get married or hold on to any given girl. I like my freedom and my free time.
But I don’t think about the “downsides” of women. Or even my frame/power. I think about all the potential of each time it works out well w/ me and a girl.
This is the “Directors” mindset. And CREDIT to Hans Comyn for steering me in this direction… This is all based in his Three Phases of the Seducer.
Archie
“Nowadays? I don’t see the upside of having a girl in your life all the time.“
Interesting, both of my local friends about my age (52) have dumped their regular women. (At least 10 years younger). Despite that the women keep coming back, and we’re both in the pub a few nights ago, and their women ( that they had just dumped) were Hanging out in the pub giving me shit trying to box off the woman I’m banging as a “girlfriend”
I’m like “she’s not a gf, I’m not bf material”
They’re getting seriously pissed at this. And pushing. “So that’s ok, you can just bang her etc..”
So I say “yeah. That’s what it is”
So they’re like “she’s a gf then”
So I’m “no. There’s no way I’m going to explain what I’m doing, where I’m going etc.. to her, and I don’t want a gf”
Then I said “even the grief you’ve both given friend A & B tonight, I’d just rather get a beer on my own”.
Hamster fried. But true. They’re a pain in the arse at times and you don’t want them around full time.
Case on point, it’s 3 AM here and I can’t sleep. I’ve been banging this bird every night through lockdown and she’s in the bed next door. The harder I bang her the more she likes it.
Earlier she thought she’d flip the script and push back on sex, play hard to get (I don’t remember the last time that happened apart from my first marriage 25/years ago). She wants me to ask for sex. Obviously I pushed it physically and were naked on the bed etc.. but she’s pushing back very hard.
It’s a shit test obv..
So I’m like “hey if you don’t want it, cool, we can skip it and eat” so we went out to eat as planned and had a decent dinner but she’s itching for sex, keeps groping my balls on the way out. Except I’m pushing her away now. “Get your hands off what you can’t afford”
Had a good dinner and small talk, she pays half and wants to walk back (wake me up as I’m knackered bc she wants sex when we get back.) but I go, nah, I’m knackered, and book and Uber.
Get back and go to bed and fall asleep. She tries to grope me and get things going but I just fall asleep.
It was a power play, she’s trying to get hand. And I’m having none of it. Tomorrow she’ll go early and then she won’t get the chance of sex until the next time she comes over.
Would I want that shit in my life full time?
No.
*knowing smile*
** update ^^
She wakes up and jumps on my cock and she starts with the angry sex which I flip bc If we’re having Angry sex I’m gonna be the one giving it.
In the aftermath she says “you were a bastard last night, next time I want to be raped don’t give up so easily”
So it was about her wanting to feel that I couldn’t control my desire for her etc…..
It’s a huge ego boost. And per the literature, she never wants to be in control, she wants others to do it, but at the same time get all the power and benefits.
Never downside, responsibility, accountabilty, only the upside.
Post what I said over at TRM
Palma
why has the whole episode left me completely and utterly cold towards her. I mean it’s a NADA. I’ve lost total interest. It’s gone, I have no interest in “that” role play whatsoever.
Quite simple really. She’s just trying to “top from the bottom” and it hits a nerve with you.
If you went ahead the sex – the rough “dominant” sex – would all still be in HER frame.
You like to dominate, not be told to dominate. It’s going to be hard to work that into her rape fantasy.
One angle is try and really break her down further until she is totally physically and psychologically in your frame. – crawling to you, hands and knees begging, bringing other girls for you. Get deep to that place then maybe work in a rough fantasy where you surprise her someplace. At least then you know she is submitting fully when you grant her the role play.